Worth

“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.” Wayne Dyer

I wonder now but why on earth

Was I looking for self-worth

Outside of me, in others’ eyes?

I did not even care if they were lies

Sugarcoated to sound cloying to my willing ears

To drown the noise of my innermost fears..

**

Why in the world did I think back in the day

That I would be more contented if I looked a certain way

I groomed myself well, lost a few pounds

That did not silence the deafening sounds

Of my inner voice screaming that I would

Remain unworthy, never amount to anything good

Why did I believe what the media portrayed

That external beauty a major role in self-worth played..

**

Why did I think that if I could appear

More erudite, more intellectual than my peers

I would feel more comfortable in my skin

I would be able to suppress that din

Of that all-too-familiar refrain

That I was an imposter, my efforts were in vain

As much knowledge as I could, I tried to acquire

It improved my self-worth some, but did not quell the fire..

**

Now with the wisdom of years and greying hair

Finally I can say that I do not care

As much about others’ opinion of me

Self-worth is internal, realizing this set me free

Whether I am well groomed, or knowledgeable

Or neither, I am finally able

To silence the dissenting voice inside

I now know my worth, I say that with pride

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