What do I fill with food?

Something feels empty, what is it and where?

Is there a hole, a void in my heart of which I am unaware

I feel lonely, cooped up in my home alone

Trying to find something uplifting on my smartphone

There is a pit in my stomach, a craving I cannot name

It feels like an addiction, smells faintly of shame

I do not have vices, the kind people talk about

I do not smoke or use drugs, alcohol I can do without

But I need something to fill that void

Something innocuous, anything in shades of grey I avoid

Where is my succor, in the pantry maybe

Or the freezer, my feet without realizing take me

To the haven of food, to fill that hollow feeling

I stuff myself mindlessly until I am reeling

From the effects of eating too much too fast

The emptiness is obliterated, but the effect would not last…

*

Later I reflect on my behavior, and I am ashamed again

For my sin of gluttony, I endure privately my pain

I realize with food I am trying to mistakenly fill

A hole in my heart, that remains empty still…

Published by iheart11

A 30-something year old woman, physician by profession, fiercely passionate about work, family, travel and fashion..

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