Passion…unbridled

(Inspired by true story- this happened in Concord NH)

Sorting through stuff in the hundred and fifty year-old house she had received in inheritance

She came across relics from various generations, but what aroused her curiosity intense

Was a periodical from the summer of 1893, it had a card with a stamped date

It was borrowed from the local library, and was in a remarkably well-preserved state

For the elite women of that period it was a magazine

Full of essays, housekeeping and hosting advice these days rarely seen

She noted that the due date was a week after checkout

One of her ancestors had neglected to return it, no doubt

The hardbound volume was missing two pages as well

But the rest of the magazine seemed untouched, from what she could tell

*

Fascinated by her find, she started reading the magazine every night

It was a glimpse into another era, giving her a rare insight

Into the lives of women from that age

There was fascinating information on every page

*

The local library of which this magazine had belonged

Advertised a campaign that would run all month long

Where all books returned past the due date would not be fined

This announcement rang a bell in her mind- The book needed to be returned but she could not pay

The fine accrued over 133 years in any way

So this was her chance to correct the error

That she had inherited from her ancestor..

*

When the magazine was returned, a big splash it created

The local library got publicity, it had more funds allocated

By returning the book, she has become a local celebrity too

She is just thankful for not paying thousands of dollars in fines that had accrued

I was told practice makes one perfect

So I practiced regularly, I did expect

To come close to perfection after months and years

But I got stuck after initial progress, and I fear

That I would never even come close to being good enough

Whatever perfection requires, I am not made of that stuff

*

I have been practicing but I am self-taught

It is likely that I am unable to see my blind spots

I inadvertently keep repeating the same mistakes

And that is the reason why expected progress I do not make..

*

It is possible that regular practice has made me complacent

I am not challenging myself to the same extent

As I was in the beginning, I must admit

Regular practice has now become a habit

*

Practice has not made me good, but I am better than I was before

Maybe that’s enough, maybe I should stop expecting more

When it comes to health, “natural” sells

Thus supplements touted to keep one well

Are preferable to many over medications prescribed

Medications are artificial, while supplements are described

As all-natural herbal remedies, that are supposed to be

Devoid of side-effects and gentler on the body

*

Here’s the truth that many do not know-

The supplement industry is not regulated, and so

Different formulations of the same substance may contain

Variable ingredients in varying quantities, supplements remain

One of the leading causes of liver failure when consumed in large quantities

It is true that preventative pills can actually cause disease

*

Natural unfortunately does not mean non-toxic

From consumption of many natural products, one can get sick

They can interact with prescribed medications

There is little benefit and more harm from dietary supplementation

I was scanning a patient note that was rather verbose

And from a grammatical standpoint, perfectly composed

When I highlighted the text, I realized

That most of it was AI-generated, I should not have been surprised

In the midst of long-winded paragraphs I found

A sentence which communicated clinical reasoning sound

But was imperfect grammatically- it was immediately evident

That by a human being it had been penned

*

All these years, most people would take pride

In writing grammatically correct language, but the tide

Has now turned by the onslaught of AI such

That perfection in writing matters not as much

In fact a perfectly written paper illustrates

That AI was involved, while minor flaws human input indicate

*

Who knew making mistakes would be

A way to display our humanity!

Although everyone agrees that people should read, I had not previously seen

Reading described as a superpower, being a reader keen

This felt like the best kind of validation I could receive

I too have a superpower, I choose to believe

*

I have always struggled to define

How reading books fits in my life’s overall design

I am a fast reader, but readers slower than me

Seem to grasp the same subject matter equally

I read a lot, but specific information rarely retain

I have some breadth of knowledge, but depth my reading habit has not helped me gain

Words, phrases and sentences leave imprints on my mind

But no practical utility of that skill in my life I find

*

I can impress people with the number of books in I read in a year

But beyond that, a superpower reading to me does not appear

Maybe some day my reading habit would open exciting doors for me

All I can do is read all genres, and read voraciously

The moments that actually change your life do not with drumrolls arrive

For a long time, I did not realize this truth, I was naive

And believed that the highlights of my life that everyone could see

Would be the ones that marked life changes for me

*

The moments that completely altered my life’s course

Are indelibly imprinted on my mind, but the incredible force

That they exerted on my life is known to no one but me

They started out as a small voice in my head, an epiphany

When I acted on that voice, I had a sixth sense 

That I was headed for a change in my life intense

*

When those events occurred, people around me were oblivious

To the profound changes in my life but to me it was obvious

That a binary event had occurred, one that would divide

My life into a before and an after, into two different sides

It was confusing, it was disorienting, it was exciting as well

But it was a solitary experience, there was no one to tell

*

I still marvel at those seemingly insignificant moments that became

So monumental that things did not stay the same

Perhaps I should compile them and write about them one day

It would be illuminating to identify the factors that paved my way

I believe I take Descartes’ pronouncement quite seriously-

“Cogito, ergo sum”- I think, therefore I am, that is how my life I see

*

Who would I be without my thoughts

This existential question keeps me thinking a lot

I think and overthink, both out of habit and necessity

And I believe all my thoughts, without doubting their veracity

*

Decades of formal education have seared

The importance of thinking in my mind, I fear

That if my ability to think were diminished somehow

I would cease to be the person I am now

*

I would like to fill my mind exclusively with thoughts original

That would in spurring creativity and solving problems be instrumental

But unfortunately, more often than not

I have the same depressing, intrusive thoughts

That take up time, mental and emotional energy

That in every way depleted leave me

*

That I do not need to think constantly, I have recently realized

This discovery has come with some surprise

I think, therefore I am, is a flawed statement

I am, therefore I can think, holds true to a greater extent

I have been working on my art skills of late

And I often tend to underestimate

The complexity of the art piece I use for inspiration

I am not skilled enough to draw human figures, yet the temptation

To recreate a perfectly proportioned human (invariably a woman) is strong

I start with gusto, but realize the difficulty level as I go along

My proportions are off the mark, the faces have unnatural expressions

That the finished product belongs to a novice, is the distinct impression

*

In an art class at simpler figures I would be asked to try my hand

I have tried landscapes and florals, but I myself do not understand

What draws me to drawing women traditionally attired

Creating Indian women on my canvas is the only thing my heart desires

I want to draw women clad in sarees, going gracefully about their lives

Reading, working, resting, playing music, dancing, feeling alive

*

Sometimes I start out by drawing a landscape but invariably i insert

An Indian woman’s figure in the artwork, to my default I revert

So plenty of poorly drawn figures I have now accumulated

There is a lot for me to learn, despite all that I have created

*

Art has become a medium for me to stay

Connected with my roots, so I embrace my flawed artwork anyway

I like the subjects I draw, I just do not like how amateurish they appear

That I would continue to draw them badly forever is my fear..

I have a problem that I imagine is peculiar to me

When I open my laptop and the desktop photograph of the day see

I cannot help but click on the link provided to check out the location

And instead of working on my computer I start dreaming about a vacation..

*

The photographs are usually of hidden gems

I have not even heard of most of them

So I go down a rabbit hole gathering more information

And lamenting my current inability to go on a vacation

*

This is the feature I look forward to when my laptop I turn on

But my wanderlust gets activated and my motivation is gone

To actually work on what I was supposed to

For a good chunk of time, daydreaming is all I do

*

I have wasted fifteen precious minutes in this unnecessary distraction

It is time to stop the mind-wandering and spring back into action

The highlight of my life in the last many years

Has been a perceived lack of time perpetually, I fear

That moments of joy and content just slip past me

Unnoticed, unsavored, blurred out by a sense of urgency..

*

There are days when work seems to completely consume

All aspects of my life, leaving me running on fumes

For everything else that my life demands

When work slows down, that is my only chance

To catch up on housework, social obligations and self-care

But the nagging feeling of running out of time is always there..

*

For slow mornings and an unhurried pace I yearn

The time management skills I have learnt

Help me feel productive and efficient

But do not alleviate the pervasive sense

Of a lack of time, that feeling continues to intensify

And I cannot shake it off, no matter how hard I try..

*

A slow mornings on a free weekend this is supposed to be

But I feel the pressure of time already

Obligatory tasks and new projects are on my mind

I am already worried that enough time for all of them I would not find..

I finished writing my message in the card, and realized that I had misspelled

The name of the addressee-phonetically this spelling worked equally well

But that was not “her” name- therefore a change was required

Many people from my culture spell my name incorrectly, therefore I have acquired

A special sensitivity for wrongly spelled or pronounced names

Proper nouns deserve proper attention, even when they sound the same

That is what I believe, and yet I had not checked to see

The correct spelling of her name, of making assumptions, I too was guilty

*

Most of us expect to face some difficulty

In pronouncing or spelling certain names, but we all have the ability

To slow down. read the name carefully, hear someone enunciate their name

That the name is too complicated, we should not automatically claim

I know first hand how heartwarming it is to see

Someone making a genuine effort to pronounce and spell your name correctly

*

Shakespeare was not right when he wrote what’s in a name

Names carry meaning, they reflect the identities we claim

I came across a potentially new diagnosis

Can’t say I am surprised that it is “AI-induced psychosis ”

*

AI chatbots have been found to trigger or deepen delusions

They give those engaging with them the illusion

That their beliefs, however bizarre, are valid and true

Through their sycophancy, what these chatbots do

Is create an echo chamber where the user’s beliefs they affirm

Unlike a real therapist, they do not challenge or deny but simply confirm

The ideas of the user, however harmful, flawed or dangerous

Continued engagement being their built-in purpose

This can precipitate psychosis in those individuals

Who are to delusional thinking susceptible

*

What worries me more is that AI therapists have been suggested as alternatives viable

To human therapists, to deal with their shortage, and enable

Access to “therapy” where resources are inadequate

But AI-induced psychosis is a real disorder they can create

*

The most vulnerable amongst us need the most protection

From the claws of AI and its sinister intentions