Passion…unbridled

I write quite a bit, so my vocabulary should have a wide range

That is what I would like to think, but it is rather strange

That when I try to comment on people’s social media posts

I am at a loss for words, the words I use most

Are cliched ones like “awesome”, “amazing” or “great”

I cannot remember adjectives that would elevate

The quality of my complimentary comment

It sounds generic, and worse, insincere in intent

*

When my friends post about their achievements

I feel obligated to post a congratulatory comment

When their pictures from exotic locales I admire

I think a comment to express my liking is required

Most of the time I am writing something just to conform

To the current etiquette and prevalent social media norms

And anything done just to fulfill an expectation

Is perfunctory by its very definition

I expend minimal effort in writing these comments

My unimaginative language makes it evident

*

Once in a while, someone’s post truly impresses me

And I write a heartfelt comment, using more of my vocabulary

The use of a wider range of words is rare

But it is a reflection that I truly care

There is so much for me to learn, but my mind

Has a shrinking capacity, I find

That despite my abundant curiosity

Imbibing new information is daunting for me

My brain needs more time to process

Any new information, and I retain even less

The world is changing quite rapidly

Retirement in the near future I do not foresee

I have to find a way such that I can trick

My brain into learning things faster, and to make them stick

*

More patient with myself I must learn to be

And come to terms with the reality

That it takes twice as long to learn new things now

And if I am serious about learning I have to allow

Myself to spend more time, and not rush things through

What I could do in my twenties I can no longer do..

*

So here I am, struggling to study for a test

I read more slowly and need longer breaks to rest

But I am grateful that I practice a vocation

Where life-long learning is the expectation

These days, when I grasp something completely new

The sense of accomplishment is greater too..

I have been writing for a while with the expectation

That writing daily would lead to revelation

Of my innermost thoughts, give me clarity

But that has not yet happened despite the regularity

With which I have been trying to write

I have not gained meaningful insight

Into my thoughts and actions, nor healing found

There have been no realizations profound..

*

Writing with the expectation of finding clarity

Has placed unreasonable pressure on me

I begin and end my writing exercise

Nothing changes between the two, I’ve realized

Solutions to my problems I do not find

Pearls of wisdom do not come to my mind

All that writing does is allow me to express

A tiny fraction of my thoughts, no more, no less

If I get the steps right, it would be neat

I am trying to dance, but I have two left feet..

*

I watch my compadres dance with grace

While I am just flailing my limbs in space

I am hyper-focused on trying to memorize

The dance steps, and I do not realize

That I literally keep missing the beat

And no step in a timely manner I complete..

Besides being stiff in my moves, I am playing catch-up too

Dance feels like something I am not cut out to do..

*

I have begun to feel hopeless but I do not want to quit just yet

That I seemingly have two left feet, I try to forget

I keep trying to dance, leaving expectations behind

I start following the beat of the music, and I find

That I am actually getting the steps right

Even if my limb movements are not a pretty sight

*

Tomorrow I shall give myself another chance

Hopefully with two left feet I can still learn to dance

I have to treat my speech recognition software

A bit gingerly, handle it with patience and care..

*

To document notes in patient charts in a manner adequate

I need to use voice recognition software to dictate

Since I never took typing lessons, my typing speed

Is too slow to be able to cater to my needs

So the speech-to-text software is my best ally

To complete my work timely, on this tool I rely

*

Since I do not have a standard American accent

I had initial struggles with the software to some extent

Over time it has learnt to recognize what I say

But if my voice is out of character some day

My words are substituted with nonsensical terms

Reading my notes later often makes me squirm

On realizing that garbage has crept in my notes inadvertently

(Thankfully I can addend my notes indefinitely)

At the end of a long day, the software seems to get tired

It starts acting up, dropping words, not working in the manner required

Sometimes it repeatedly fails to understand the words I say

I change my intonation, repeat my sentences in a different way

Some days I cannot make it work at all

Into the misfortune of painstakingly typing my notes I then fall

*

In case you’re wondering, I do not yet use

AI enabled speech recognition, that lazy way of note-writing I do not choose

I received an e-mail from a teacher for my high schooler today

And apart from whatever else she had to say

About expectations from this particular class, which is to be conducted online

The part that most interesting I did find

Was how she had laid down (reasonable) expectations

For students to use in their e-mails proper grammar and punctuation

With special emphasis on avoiding typing in upper case

That is tantamount to yelling and has in a formal environment no place

I was glad she had given this instruction in etiquette

Along with the other expectations she had set

These days the proper way of composing letters is hardly ever taught

And most teenagers write e-mails without putting in much thought

*

I recall receiving a similar e-mail at a much older stage

Addressed to medical residents, where our median age

Was in the late twenties, though many of us happened to be

International medical graduates not from this country

To ensure that all of us understood rules of etiquette the e-mail was designed

Seeing the message addressed to my son’s class brought that memory to my mind..

*

I should remind my son not to leave the CAPSLOCK key on while writing an e-mail

I don’t want him to ace the math class but in etiquette fail

Dear son,

I regret not having inculcated in you

The love for reading that has carried me through

Many storms in life over the years

I have not given you a valuable tool, I fear

To cope with life’s many tribulations

When life seemed unbearable my inclination

Has been to pick up a book and enter a world not my own

That has been the best temporary escape I have known

But with you I have not been able to share

The unbridled joy of being lost in a book, to be unaware

Of the world around you, while you inhabit a world designed

By the author and imagined in your mind

*

You have grown up surrounded by every available device

It has been challenging for you to stick to my advice

Of reading a book purely for pleasure

I wish I could pass on to you how much I treasure

Having access to unlimited books to read

In this case, by example I wish to lead..

*

You are still young and impressionable

I hope you find a mentor who encourages and enables

You to develop in reading a lasting interest

Who, like me, believes that books are the best

Memes are everywhere on the internet

But the meaning of the original word “meme” was one I did not expect

The smallest unit of culture it is supposed to be

Passed on through imitation or mimicry

*

These days the cultural zeitgeist is represented by whatever is trending

On the internet, like the “memes” that people are sharing and sending

Something short and captivating enough for our dwindling spans of attention

Something that is created, remixed and spread with that intention

*

So internet memes modern cultural exchange represent

They are humorous, relatable and adaptable to some extent

Everything from news stories, current events, and viral videos now generates

Countless memes, the best ones of which continue to propagate

*

My internet vocabulary is woefully inadequate

Perhaps a meme on this knowledge gap I can create..

There was a time when you took pictures with care

You had a reel or two earmarked for a vacation, with none to spare

You rationed the number of pictures you took

There was no way for you to look

At the photographs right after they had been clicked

It was not like you could take a couple and later the best one pick

You handed your camera to a stranger with some hesitation

Hoping the picture they took would be good enough for your compilation

*

These days you take photographs without a second thought

The same place, the same scenery, different poses- restricted you are not

By the constraints that previously existed

There is no self-restraint when you are not constricted

You don’t always take time to compose the best shot

The entire gamut of still photography and film has been brought

In to your pocket and your hand, with the technology current

Taking a picture today is from a few decades ago entirely different

*

A million pictures during my travels I take

I spend hours deliberately over which ones are good enough to make

The cut on my social media profiles

I edit them with variable results, play with different styles

Despite the plethora of tools available to me

I am dissatisfied with the results frequently

I think in having unlimited choice the problem lies

I wonder if going back to the old technology would be nice..

The words that describes what I face with increasing frequency

Is “lethologica”, it feels like a gut punch, a sharp reminder of my declining memory

When I need to describe something, and cannot find

The right word, it has completely slipped my mind

Sometimes I forgive myself because I commonly use

My second language, but words in my native language too I’m starting to lose

Even more distressing is when I cannot recall

A medical term- I get worried it signals my career downfall..

*

Blame it on age, on the roller-coaster ride of hormones or poor sleep

My memory is the most prized possession I’d like to keep

When a word is on the tip of my tongue, unable to be retrieved

And I don’t get worked up over it, I am often relieved

To find that the word comes to me eventually

If I keep trying to recall it, it completely evades me

*

I must confess that this is a new word for me

Though it describes what I encounter frequently

Therefore this is one word I hope I would not forget

Though these days with my memory I never know what to expect

I pick up the humble graphite pencil to draw

The outline of my artwork, so that I can erase the flaws

In my drawing- here I must confess that I have been uncharacteristically bold

To draw directly with indelible pens, truth be told

That audacious experiment I now consider failed

That kind of cliff in drawing I have not scaled

The last time I had used a pencil was two decades ago

To fill in circles on an answer-sheet- I do not know

If I had any pencils at home until my son started school

I only wrote (and drew) with pens and markers as a rule

*

Using a pencil is different from holding a pen

My strokes are lighter, more deliberate when

I use a sharpened pencil versus one with a dull tip

My line thickness varies depending on the strength of my grip

And in the midst of drawing, I am suddenly transported back

To my simple childhood, when tools like computers we lacked

When pencils were to elementary school confined

And graduating to writing with a pen a rite of passage defined

*

Next time I sit down to read a journal article, I bring a pencil with me

And start scribbling notes in the margins furiously

In a throwback to old days- this is a more effective way to retain what I read

I did not realize that a pencil was what my aging memory did need..

*

My next project is to try writing with a pencil in a notebook

Somehow this has been harder than it looks

I am so used to typing words on a device

That I am afraid my penmanship would not suffice

To get my thoughts on paper in an aesthetically pleasing way

I have to start somewhere, let me just start today…

If you start writing regularly you create

A net to catch passing thoughts that would otherwise dissipate

*

Thoughts and ideas floated in and out of my mind constantly

Their relevance to my life I could not always see

Sometimes I would want to capture a thought to come back to it later

But it would get lost in the midst of things requiring attention greater

Some thoughts half-formed and ideas half-baked remained

Tucked away in the recesses of my brain

While most ended up permanently lost

I had no way to collate them and connect the dots

*

My thoughts had been weighing me down for a while

I created a blog to jot them down, over time I figured out my writing style

Which morphed from short essay to rhyming verse in its current form

The fate of my thoughts regular writing transformed

*

Now whenever a thought or an idea lodges in my brain

I turn it into a blog post, I can go back to it again and again

My writing has become the net in which my thoughts

Develop and mature after they get caught