During the COVID-19 pandemic, most hospitals have been forced to adopt a no-visitation policy for patients to mitigate spread. Additionally, to reduce exposure to staff and to preserve PPE, many healthcare workers are also forced to reduce/limit time spent in patient rooms. Many COVID patients are struggling alone in their rooms. This poem is written from the perspective of a physician who witnesses a patient struggling to breathe, alone in his room.

I am here before you, under layers
I know to you it is not fair
To have to strain to understand what I have to say
When you are straining hard to breathe anyway
I know the non-rebreather mask and the oxygen at high flow
Make it impossible to communicate, and so
I am literally trying to scream beneath my mask and face shield
You don’t understand a word I say, I believe
Anxious, afraid, isolated and struggling to get a breath adequate
You are in an impossibly vulnerable state
Your loved ones you can barely see
On FaceTime, amid all this gadgetry
Besides, you don’t want to see them upset
At how you struggle with every breath…
I started out planning to spend as few minutes as I could
In your room, to decrease my exposure as I should
I can still make good clinical decisions if I prioritize
Spending less time in a COVID room with virus aerosolized
Reducing my exposure, but on a human level it would be
To leave a patient in discomfort, a travesty
So still under full PPE, I take a step closer to you
Hold your hand, try my best to listen too
To your concerns, articulated between anxious breaths
I try to comfort you, your anxiety I try to whet
When you nod in comprehension, believe me it’s true
I feel a sense of accomplishment too..
I leave your room hoping the time I spent
Would be worth every extra second
This pandemic has taken so much away
We have to find solace in something every day
I was going about dissatisfied with myself. I must say
At leaving patients alone, in distress every day
The simple act of touching my patient and spending minutes few
Hopefully helped him, made me feel better too
When I reflect on what the pandemic has done
One of the worst things seems to be the isolation
To be alone when you are sick, afraid, in an environment unfamiliar
Is a torture inflicted by this pandemic severe
Even if it is under layers of protective gear
If a little proximity can allay my patient’s fear
I am willing to do it, setting my fear aside
At least I would know that I tried..
The most gut wrenching photo I have seen, thus far, is of the doctor, in full PPE, hugging the older gentleman at the Thanksgiving holiday. It just breaks your heart.
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