
I am a rule follower, usually afraid
To break norms, I believe there’s a price to be paid
Whenever you go against established protocol
Especially at work- therefore I cannot recall
The last time I was late, delinquent or absent
At work, at least by deliberate intent
And on the few occasions I failed to be timely
I was angry at myself, I felt quite guilty..
*
I don’t know why one day while I was stuck
In rush hour traffic, I felt like pushing my luck
And taking the next exit instead of heading to work
I wanted to be a truant, responsibilities I wanted to shirk
It sounded like a break from my life mundane
Excited about the prospect, I inched into the right lane
To take the next exit and drive far away
Dreaming of spending by myself a carefree day
*
When I came to the exit, I could not follow through
With my plan, my insecurities came to my rescue
And I drove to work, thinking of how irresponsible I would have been
If my wild plan had been realized, it would mean
Rescheduling my patients who needed medical care
Or overloading my colleagues, both of which would be unfair
The after-effects of my truancy would have been unpleasant
After returning home, I would have been repentant…
*
The nature of my work is intense, therefore no doubt
There are times when I feel like I am burning out
Traffic snarls and other annoyances add up too
Then I want to hide myself or run away, I do
But the rule follower in me reminds me I cannot
Just walk away, so I continue to work, and on second thoughts
I feel victorious when I power through a busy day
All my fantasies of truancy just fade away..

Hmmm… You are hard on yourself, yes? It’s okay to be late sometimes. Life and traffic happen to everybody; nobody should expect you to be perfect (yourself included). It can all be worked out. Your *commitment* to your work, your patients, and your values/ethics is clear. Could it be these, as much as if not more than fear of breaking rules, that kept you off the exit?
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I am just the opposite–**oh, these rules don’t apply to me** 😆😬
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