On being self-taught

When it comes to art, I am nothing more

Than a complete beginner, an amateur..

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As I try to draw, copying from a piece of art I admire

Struggling to get the proportions desired

Trying to channel my middle school art teacher’s voice in my head

Trying to remember how she explained the basics to me, what she said

Unable to recall the specifics, but uncomfortably aware

That I am not following rules, that I should be prepared

To get a less than perfect outcome in the end

That I know how to draw lifelike figures I cannot pretend

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From art classes with an in-person instructor I would benefit

But I am not inclined to get formal instruction, I admit

All the instagram posts with a hashtag that proclaims

That the artist is self-taught has made me believe I can do the same

But neither do I possess natural talent nor do I practice enough

Trying to improve my skills in this scenario is tough..

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I still think with practice I have improved some

But it is hard to evaluate how far I have come

In my journey as an amateur artist because I cannot be

An impartial judge of my skill and ability