I carry an enormous burden inside me
Not breathing a word, I bring it silently
Inside the walls of my home, beyond my workplace
I swallow the sense of loss, alone I must face
The maelstrom of emotions within me
Trying to analyze what could have been done differently
Replaying the sequence of events in my mind
Rationalizing, as closure I am trying to find..
*
My son is trying to get my attention
To tell me about his day, despite my best intention
To listen to him, distracted I remain
I desperately want solitude to process my pain
But expeditiously I must move on, I have no choice
The emotions playing havoc with me I cannot voice
*
I get paged about another patient, jolting me out of my reverie
I cannot keep grieving, present I have to be
For my family and my patients, so I bury my grief inside
What cannot be expressed I just have to hide..
*
The loss of a patient is a heavy burden to bear
One that we carry alone, one that we cannot share
