Passion…unbridled

A pill prescribed for a specific condition Is perceived

As something potentially harmful, most people believe

That prescription medications should be minimized

More “natural remedies” should be advised

*

Though I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment

I caution against “herbal supplements”

That seem attractive because they are supposed to be

Natural, and therefore harmless to the body

*

The supplement industry is growing by leaps and bounds

Supported by wellness influencers around

Promising quick fixes for a variety of ailments

For every chronic condition, there is an herbal supplement

*

Sometimes they work, and the cynic in me

Says that it is the placebo effect mostly

The active ingredient is possibly effective too

But I worry about all the harm they can do

*

The supplement industry is not closely regulated

The active ingredient can be as diluted or as concentrated

As the manufacturers want it to be

And this can lead to adverse effects unfortunately

When they interact with other medications prescribed

Serious consequences have been described

*

Not everything natural is harmless

The plant world does many poisons possess

Here’s a secret I would like people to know

Dose determines the level of toxicity, and so

An herb consumed as a spice mixed with food is different

From the same herb packaged in a concentrated supplement

*

The quick fixes that we would all desire

Do not exist, getting healthy requires

Following healthy practices consistently

The results present themselves gradually..

I am exhausted from seeing patients all day

My work remains incomplete, I need to stay

For an hour or two to complete notes on the patients I have seen

My “in-basket” full of test results and patient messages I must clean

I usually head home only after every task is complete

I do it every single day on repeat

Which means I am never home early enough

But staying late every day is tough

*

I am tempted to leave without completion

Of my work, it is up to my discretion

Whether to finish my paperwork the same day

But I just prefer to do it anyway

*

Out of exhaustion, I pack up and leave

It should not be hard to pick up the next day, I believe

But the following day, I scramble to get notes done

I’ve lost ground, I’m lagging behind some

The cycle continues and work piles up some more

Until I’m working on the weekend at the expense of household chores..

*

Either I stay late every day or my weekends sacrifice

I have to spend extra hours, and pay the price

Of constantly trying my best to orchestrate

Between work and home, a balance delicate

One positive thing about the internet

Is all the information you can get

Because anything and everything cam be shared

No embarrassing details are spared

You find out others deal with some of the same issues

That bother you, things that you would not choose

To discuss with anyone except your doctor or therapist in confidence

Are discussed in various forums, it gives you reassurance

That you are not alone with weird problems and thoughts

And if you keep searching, a remedy can be sought

*

On the same note, I used to think some interesting traits were peculiar to me

But I am not that unique, the internet helped me see

For every conceivable issue there is a community online

That depending on your interest you can find

*

You just have to be careful about what you share

Online forums can draw you in and ensnare

You in a complex web if you are not vigilant

It’s best to engage to a limited extent..

I feel unmotivated and uninspired

I think I am increasingly wired

To constantly chase experiences new

And when there are none, I don’t know what to do

*

The weather is fickle, work keeps me occupied

The state of the world is chaotic, and I’ve tried

To let go of all thoughts and spend time to meditate

But I fail to erase invasive thoughts and create

The headspace to let creative ideas appear

I don’t know in which direction my mind I can steer

*

I am failing to come up with plans for this year

Time is just passing me by, I fear

All the advice I’ve read on creating the life of my dreams

Has fallen flat, I cannot figure out even short-term plans, it seems..

*

A voice inside me whispers to just let it go

Live in the moment, go with the flow

In the absence of a better idea, I shall heed

This piece of advice, perhaps this us what I need

It’s the five-year anniversary of the day

That upended the world as we knew it in every way

It was a seismic shift away from the way we used to operate

The world was paralyzed in a fearful state

A novel virus our world order had disrupted

Seemingly out of nowhere a pandemic had interrupted

The way we conducted business in a world globalized

The enormity of the pandemic we had yet to realize

Six feet away, masked and afraid

Cooped up in our homes we stayed

*

Exactly five years ago the pandemic was declared

It is amazing to see how the world has since fared..

We adapted and innovated through our fears

The scars from the pandemic have not disappeared..

*

Five years down the road, the most heartwarming part for me

Is that the pandemic was something we experienced collectively

To instantly connect with almost anyone anywhere

One can just talk about the pandemic we all shared..

I open my work e-mail and the first one I see

By my first name addresses me

In the same group e-mail my male colleagues as Dr. _ are addressed

I am annoyed but there’s nowhere my annoyance can be expressed

*

I move on, and proceed to see the first patient of the day

Despite introducing myself as the doctor, I am called Ms. anyway

I am used to it, I do not give it much thought

These are not battles worthy of being fought

*

Another patient calls me “Honey” in a tone of condescension

The next one continues to call me a nurse, in his inattention

Despite my attempts to correct him- later a complaint I hear

That “the doctor has not been in here”

*

A new patient expresses surprise that I am not a man

I try to brush it away, with as much indifference as I can

Giving the patient the benefit of doubt- perhaps he was genuinely surprised

But unfortunately I did see the disappointment in his eyes

*

I tell myself not to worry about how I am perceived

Not being called a doctor does not take away the rigorous training I’ve received

But the micro-aggressions add up each time, leaving me demoralized

And this is something male physicians do not even realize..

I am trained to evaluate research papers critically

The underlying assumption being that I read the paper thoroughly

I pick up a medical journal and find an article to my practice relevant

To read it in its entirety is my noble intent

*

The abstract is promising, I continue to read

The introduction makes compelling arguments indeed

For the study rationale, the study design is simple enough

But reading through all the methodology is tough

*

I reach the results section but it is too detailed

A picture is worth a thousand words, so where words have failed

To keep me interested, figures come to my rescue

A careful look at the graphs should be sufficient too

*

Now comes the discussion- I have started losing my concentration

I skip through several paragraphs and get to the study limitations

The conclusion of the study I try to commit to memory

At the end of the day, that is the only information necessary

*

I’ve described reading an article when my motivation is high

More often than not, I just read the abstract, I won’t lie

My dwindling attention span is capable of absorbing less and less

Reading research articles is not my cup of tea, I confess

Are my brain cells dead or just dormant

Or are they overworked to such an extent

That I find it difficult to absorb information new

My memory does not serve me as well as it used to..

*

When I see my peers embarrassed I feel

My inability to remember I don’t want to reveal

I’m not that old, I need to ensure my grey cells last

A little longer, but I seem to be losing them fast

*

Though information is available readily, I have to rely

On what I remember, even though I try

To remember details from weighty journal articles, I fail

I use mnemonics and associations to no avail

*

My brain on a daily basis I exercise

But I tend to sleep poorly, therefore it’s no surprise

That my brain cells for heavy mental work seem unprepared-

My brain-washing system that works during sleep is impaired

*

Nostalgia sweeps over me as I think of bygone days

When my brain cells and memory worked in remarkable ways

To help me excel in my medical training

I regret how my mental faculties are waning

*

All I want to do is preserve the function of my brain

As long as possible, to be able to read and retain

New information, because in my profession I need

To be able to understand and act on what I read indeed

In an era marked by a sense of doom and gloom

The wellness industry has blossomed and boomed..

*

We are all overworked, stressed and sleep-deprived

Desperately looking for strategies to help us thrive

We find it difficult to eat right, regularly exercise

That we deal with chronic ailments comes as no surprise

We don’t feel well, therefore we chase

All kinds of wellness trends these days..

*

Wellness is a nearly seven trillion dollar industry

In pursuit of good health or an illusion of it, people spend money

Including yoga, nutritional supplements , mindfulness and meditation

Wellness devices, apps, procedures and a conglomeration

Of nontoxic and organic products- the sky is the limit here

As the wellness industry taps into people’s fears..

*

The future of wellness industry is bright

As stress from politics and extreme weather events we fight

In the future artificial intelligence would probably be able to make

Personalized recommendations for your wellness, a customized prescription that you can take

*

As for me, my life with sickness and health is intertwined

Many wellness fads do not register in my mind

But I believe a good night’s sleep is the best

Wellness hack, so I must go and rest

The feminine urge to dress up for an event

Is always alive to a certain extent

Even when you think you are bone-tired

The energy to choose a stunning attire

For a party, you can always summon

You know you are going to strive to be someone

Whose appearance draws both envy and admiration

Who gets to be the cynosure of all eyes, garnering attention..

*

You know you are not that woman, you do not possess

The patience that is required to appear well-dressed

From head to toe, including make-up and hair

You try a little, but you really don’t care

Your hair is unruly but at least your outfit is good enough

Quickly you try to smooth some edges rough

By then you are already running a little late

You depart for the party, in a pretty stressed state

*

You are somewhere in the middle in how you are dressed

You look fairly nondescript, certainly not one to impress

Another woman strikes up a conversation with you

And you open up about the work that you do

The conversation pivots to work and other interests

Those are the areas that fortunately you like best

*

Suddenly you are in your element, and your appearance

Has been rendered inconsequential in the presence

Of other facets of your life that you can now talk about

Moving past superficial appearances, you are relieved without a doubt…

If people loved themselves more

They would have less angst to endure..

*

It’s easy to latch onto criticism so tenaciously

That you constantly admonish yourself subconsciously

For failing to reach standards you have set high

Your inner monologue tries to imply

That you are unworthy, this message you internalize

It becomes the backstory of your life before you realize

*

You fail in relationships, you find it difficult to excel

At anything you do, you are under the spell

Of self-loathing- how do you learn to give

Love to others when without love for yourself you live?

*

It takes supreme effort to change the monologue in your head

From self-loathing to learning to love yourself instead

But once you start treating yourself with love and kindness

You attract the same vibes- you make real progress

Once you start loving yourself unconditionally

Love enters your life from all directions in reciprocity..

*

It is hard to love yourself in a world that seems to thrive

On keeping our insecurities, our inner critics alive

But if only people would love themselves more

They would attract more love for sure

There are so many thoughts I would like to express

But I am afraid, I’ve learnt to suppress

My true thoughts and say only what is expected of me

I have no desire to invite criticism unnecessary 

I don’t want to be viewed as an iconoclast

I definitely don’t want to be a social outcast..

*

I confess I carry thoughts inside me that feel 

Contrary to what society accepts, that reveal

A preference for things outside social norms

But when I express myself, for the society I perform

*

It makes me sad to realize that I might never find

The courage to express what truly is in my mind

My thoughts and ideas I don’t want to take to the grave

In an internal monologue my most unorthodox ideas I save

*

The need to express myself is an existential one

I can do that in writing, that is seen by no one

I am not looking to change the world nor change any minds

I simply want to resolve the constant confusion in my mind

Between my independent ideas and what I’ve been taught 

This is a battle that only through expression can be fought

*

So let me take a few moments to write about

Something that has caused me consternation throughout

Maybe I shall discover a perspective new

Maybe I shall find middle ground too