Decisive…

I just read an article in a women’s magazine advising women to be more decisive at workplace. I totally agree- quick decision-making is a life-changing skill at work (and in life).

I thought I was knowledgeable and well-read

I had reasonably good ideas in my head

I should have been able to put my knowledge to use..

I knew that I did not have a credible excuse

For my performance not being up to the mark

Between theory and practice, there was a difference stark

*

I was struggling then in a male-dominated workplace

In my first job, I felt like an imposter taking up space

That I did not deserve, I suffered from lack of confidence

I could not perform well under stress intense

*

I had to find why I was falling behind

As I analyzed my performance in my mind

And compared it to that of successful colleagues in my organization

One thing stood out in stark realization-

I was indecisive and vacillated a lot

Before making a final decision, tormented by the thought

That I could be completely wrong, and this trait

Made me appear incompetent, made execution of projects late

*

I began to work painstakingly on my indecisiveness

Letting go of the fear of being wrong was a slow process

I realized my decisions did not always have to be perfect

But making a decision was crucial to starting a project

I discovered that an early start also gave me

The deftness to change course as the need happened to be

*

I’ve not scaled any major heights, but I must say

That I’ve earned recognition for quick decision-making today

The imposter syndrome still lurks in the background

But fades away when I make a decision sound..