I Live with a Chronic Illness..

I look completely normal but I hide

A deep seated burden inside

Of chronic illness that does not

Allow me to be carefree- the thought

Of instability is never far from my mind

If I am not careful I know I can find

Myself in deep trouble, even a life-threatening emergency

I have to plan for every contingency..

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You may wonder why I often do not go

Along with your spur of the moment plans, you should know

That plans in my life are rarely made on the spot

Behind my seemingly spontaneous decisions is much thought

I can conquer the world if I am well prepared

To tackle my condition, but I can crash if caught unaware

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Although I think I manage my condition quite well

On a false sense of security, I never dwell

Unpredictability is the name of the game

No matter how much this illness I tame

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The constant reminder of my illness

Sometimes gets overwhelming, I confess

I long to do things and go places without

Having to consider my limitations throughout..

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I am still learning to take life day by day

I know I can easily get carried away

In catastrophizing when things do not appear conducive

But then go back to safety and stability- with this dichotomy I live