I turn this way and that, raise or lower my chin
Trying to stand or sit at different angles to appear thin
Restrain my natural smile so my teeth do not show
Try to get on my face that artificial glow
Re-take pictures a few times because I am not
Satisfied- I look worse in the photographs than I thought
The unmistakable signs of age I am trying to hide
To look my best, every trick in the book I’ve tried
My photographers too end up exasperated with me
I’ve tested their patience to the maximum degree
*
I sift through my pictures, disappointed that they have not
Turned out as well as I had hoped and thought
The background is beautiful, the scenery breathtaking
But looking at my subpar pictures, my heart is breaking
There are hardly any pictures good enough for me to post online
I look old, disheveled, a few pounds heavier than the image I have in my mind…
*
After I have fretted over my bad pictures to my heart’s content
I realize I have become obsessed to a dangerous extent
Regarding how I look in pictures because people who see
My profile online should have a favorable image of me
The weird thing is that in real life I care much less
About my appearance- the people I meet frequently I have no desire to impress
But if I am being honest I pay much less attention
To appearances in real life, I focus more on interaction
With others, while online I seem to scrutinize
People in their pictures- it sounds pathetic, I now realize..
*
While trying to look presentable in photographs is fine
Looking artificially better for the sole purpose of posting online
Is something from which I must consciously stay away
At this self obsession I must try to chip away
Passion...unbridled 