Life without a Pulse

“Think you I bear the shears of destiny? Have I commandment on the pulse of life?”

– William Shakespeare, King John (1623)

This poem describes someone with a left ventricular assist device/VAD, which is a surgically implanted heart pump used for patience with Advanced heart failure. The pump sucks and blood from the heart and sensor to the rest of the body continuously, and therefore most of these patients do not have a pulse. However, they feel much better and can function like a normal human being as long as they are connected to external sources of power.

I stand before you, alive and well

That I have no pulse, you could never tell

Unless you placed your finger to feel

Where my pulse should be, let me reveal

The secret behind this radiant complexion of mine

This pulselessness has my life redefined..

*

I had heart failure that was taking every moment of every day

Quite literally, my struggling breath away

My heart beat irregularly, over me loomed the threat

Of impending doom, my body was flirting with death

I had a pulse then, but it did not amount to much

After endless healthcare visits, I received the healing touch

Of a left ventricular assist device, and paradoxically

It took away my pulse as it gave my life back to me..

*

The machine lets the blood course efficiently

Through every part of my body, continuously

My heart does not beat the way yours would do

But I have undergone revival as a person new

My hopes and desires, once dashed to the ground

Are resurfacing as I reflect on my life with gratitude profound

*

A new lease on life, reimagined, with a VAD

Being alive and kicking, without a pulse, ain’t bad!