Passion…unbridled

Where do you wish to go, weary soul?

Where is the fabled river that would make you whole?

Where are you looking for succor, for solace?

Where in the universe is that mythical place?

*

Are you following a mirage, or are you

Creating an evanescent path through

Lands that may or may not exist

The lure of this imaginary place, why can’t you resist?

*

Do you know you belong here, right now

Feel your breath, your body, you may discover how

The answers to your conundrums lie within you

Don’t go off somewhere else, just search through and through

Your own self, identify each spot that gives you pain

And each spot that gives you joy, rejoice once again

Within you lies the beginning and the end

Of your journey, don’t look elsewhere my friend…

I am reminded, time and again

The little things are the ones that cause pain

In medicine- and in life, things that seem inconsequential

End up having effects monumental

Those annoying issues that seem to be

Distracting you from the important stuff merely

Promptly get forgotten only to rear their ugly heads

In a crisis, when you realize ignoring those issues has led

To the conundrum that you are now forced to face

Those peaky issues now occupy a prominent place

Among the list of things that need most attention

(When ironically that was not your intention)

*

I try to learn from my mistakes

Often quite high are the stakes

In medicine and in life, therefore

I need to pay attention some more

To every detail, no matter how small

After all, a nail can make a kingdom fall

The one thing that I ignore because time I lack

Is the one that would bite me, set me back..

I look all around me for a doorway, an exit

To escape the walls that my expression constrict

My anger has me trapped in a maze

Dissatisfaction clouds my vision in a haze

I need to escape my tunneled emotions

I want to just breathe, free from the commotion,

That noise within my restless soul

The angst that threatens to swallow me whole

I need to free myself from the choke-hold

Of my negative emotions, take a step bold

Be outside, and positive energy inhale

Breathe it in, then my anger exhale..

At the risk of sounding obnoxious

Let me blow my bugle in a way pompous…

In a life that rarely does any plan follow

The ability to say “I told you so”

Gives me a smug satisfaction, I confess

I want to celebrate my brief success

Each time my prediction comes true

I stand straighter, feel more confident too

In a chaotic world where time for reflection I struggle to find

Being proved right assures me that my mind

Still functions despite all the distractions around

It gives me positive reinforcement profound!

Why is it that I’m left wondering often these days

What exactly is it that people are trying to say..

I believe I have over English language a grasp quite good

There is no reason that most writing in contemporary English should

Be inscrutable to me, yet often I find

Words that leave me scratching my mind

To their exact meaning, many of them seem to be new

They seem to have risen in the last decade, out of the blue

Seen everywhere on instagram, often by hashtags preceded

They make me feel like my gray cells have receded..

Then there are words that seem to have jumped out

From the pages of a dictionary, no doubt

I have to exercise my mind to translate

Exotic words that carry excessive weight

Perhaps reading difficult words is a taste acquired

That has evaded me, or maybe I am not wired

To comprehend language when straightforward it is not

Or, maybe, here is the final (and likely true) thought:

I am growing old, my mental faculties have declined

Such that new words (and concepts) are not grasped by mind..

To rejuvenate and reset I need a break

Ironically, from myself, I need it for my sake

A break from the obsessive, anxious me

Who goes through life with a running commentary

Of imaginary disasters in her mind

I need to separate myself from that person to find

The fun-loving, laissez-faire version of me

That has been lost in the bustle of life completely

From the current me, on the edge always

I must try my best to part ways

I visualize the snapping of a string to signal detachment

I let go of what I perceive as a pathological attachment

I mentally lock the anxious version of me

In a closed room, metaphorically setting myself free…

*

Let me feel a new lightness

Let my calmer self express

Itself, at least while the illusion lasts

A new leaf I’ve turned, an old skin I’ve cast

The Truth… that painful, shameful, unpleasant entity

Kept in secret closets, hidden, its ugly identity

Staying under wraps, shielded from prying eyes

Those patched wraps of half-truths, almost-lies..

With passage of time, getting heavier as well

As it soaks up the burden of every lie you tell..

*

Telling the truth is something that you

For the sake of your sanity, have to do

But how would the truth suddenly unfold

Unravel all previous fables you have told

If you try to embellish it, again you would

Go down the spiral of lies that you never should…

*

So how do you tell the truth after hiding it for years?

You weave a story around it, acknowledge your fears

Write it down for the world to see

Fiction may set the hidden truth free..

Your soul would experience relief profound

Telling your story is how catharsis can be found…

What do you do to feel like you’re doing something worthwhile

Making a positive difference, perhaps making someone smile

*

Your unprocessed baggage weighs heavily on you

In your negativity you make others miserable too

And sink deeper into a spiral of guilt and shame

You spend hours assigning yourself the blame

Somehow hoping you would guilt yourself enough

To throw away your negative stance, but that’s a proposition tough

*

So how do you turn around 180 degrees?

Discard your pessimism, get a new lease

Of life in an attitude with positivity imbued

Replace each negative thought when it intrudes

On your mind with a positive one each day

Bit by bit you find negativity chipping away

Until positive thoughts fill your heart and soul..

You can contribute to the world, now that you feel whole..

You may have a smooth sailing for a while

With the spring in your step, you may go an extra mile

But sooner or later a roadblock you would find

Tangible or figurative, crystal clear or ill-defined

That suddenly slams the brakes on your high speed

Something that had seemed unlikely indeed..

*

When faced with a roadblock you could fight it tooth and nail

Push past it tenaciously, you could succeed or you could fail

Should you then turn around, give up or find another way

Or should you wait patiently for the storm to pass away..

*

You are a go-getter, doing nothing goes against

The very fabric of you, increases your angst

But sometimes on every other door you may knock

To find it closed- stuck between a hard place and a rock

You are forced to sit back and passively wait

Hope and pray fervently for your troubles to abate

*

Sometimes waiting it out is what you need most

Instead of futile running from pillar to post

Waiting gives you precious time and a perspective new

Smooth sailing hardly creates the best milieu

To think, reflect, plan and contemplate

While a roadblock forces you into this state..

Quiet contemplation new answers does reveal

Slowing down gives you time to rejuvenate and heal

*

These are notes to myself as much as you

Faced with a roadblock I would try to wait too..

In a rare moment of inspiration ideas flow from my mind

Effortlessly into words and sentences they find

Themselves being arranged, and I have the urge

To cement them, let them coherently converge

On paper, so that my ideas with the world can be shared..

Suddenly I realize that unfortunately I’ve dared

To present my ideas on a controversial issue

My thoughts challenge the paradigm too..

I live in a free world, I have freedom of expression

Through my words I just want to share my impression

In the polarized, politicized, fractious world of today

I wonder if my opinion could invite harm in some way..

*

Unfortunately, this is the world we live in now

That tolerance of artistic freedom does not allow

Where intolerance of a writer’s words can culminate

In a life threatening assault, propelled by hate..

*

In this world, I wonder if I need to see

Over my shoulder before expressing myself freely

This is the zeitgeist-artistic freedom bleeds

At the altar of human intolerance indeed

Being a workaholic is not good

For your health, therefore you should

Make time to pursue leisure activities

Make relaxation a priority please…

There are many attractive options for you

Many come with hefty price tags too

You need to relax, that much you know

But your leisure time should be used effectively, so

That at work you can be more efficient

After a break, deliver 110 percent…

An hour long yoga or barre session may be

The perfect leisure time activity

Combining relaxation with exercise

Is a time-saving strategy quite wise

Or try a class learning a new skill

That is relaxing for you and fits the bill

You are an overachiever, you’ve got this obviously

Your leisure time is the key to your productivity…

*

You have carved out time to relax every day

But you have no time left for yourself anyway

Your leisure time has become, in a manner unfortunate

Another chore to be ticked off your already full plate..

Would you consider taking some steps towards me

I would then do the same maybe

Couldn’t we meet each other halfway

Find common ground, a happy medium someday

Who is wrong, who is right and where

At this point I’m too weary to care

Stating my point of view again and again

Has made it appear old, insipid and plain

Having held stubbornly to my jaded opinion

I am ready to toss my obstinacy into oblivion

And open my mind to a viewpoint that’s different

To hear you explain your thoughts is my intent

Then I shall explain my perspective too

And have an intellectual discourse with you

Maybe the discussion would then generate

New ideas, new questions; new opportunities create

*

Our gulf is wide, waiting to be bridged one day

Let’s move forward, meet each other halfway…