Passion…unbridled

At first I was too skinny, I tried to gain weight

Then I swung on the other side in a cruel twist of fate

I shed some pounds, in order to attain

The ideal weight, but it was difficult to maintain

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At first I was too talkative, I tried to talk less

But then I became too shy to express

My opinions, unfortunately to my detriment

I could not get it right despite my best intent

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At first I was too conservative in the manner I dressed

That I needed to expand my sartorial choices was upon me impressed

Now I appear too flamboyant, I am advised to toke it down a notch

Therefore the sartorial styles of successful people I carefully watch

*

At first I was being me, but with the crowd I did not fit in

So I altered my behavior, in order to score a win

But I seemed to overshoot the middle mark somehow

In constantly altering what I did, I was unable to allow

Myself to be who I wanted to be, after years I finally realized

That trying to fit in was futile, I was surprised

To find that I could actually be comfortable in my own skin

I did not have to conform to pressures to fit in

Protein is having a moment right now

You are told more protein in your diet you should allow

Protein shakes have been popular, but these days

Protein is being incorporated into desserts in creative ways

Touted as guilt-free desserts because you can eat

A supersized protein-rich dessert instead of a modest sized treat

*

There are definitely times in life when more protein you need

Protein is good for growing children and post-surgical patients indeed

But the obsession with protein continues to grow

After all, fitness influencers with ripped bodies tell you so..

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Low fat, low carb, keto, high protein

These diets make us think that wrong our traditional diets have been

Pushing us towards food ultra-processed

Which is ultra-inflammatory in excess

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Healthy food has become harder to define

Every year a new diet is designed

To help people stay healthy and lose weight

There are many stakeholders deciding what goes on our plates

I am working after hours, trying to be efficient and fast

But the modicum of efficiency does not last

Tomorrow I have a housewarming party to attend

Respecting etiquette I do fully intend

To buy a gift but time is in short supply

To find something acceptable online I must try

So I take a few minutes to order a gift with a guarantee

Of a twenty-four hour delivery

Needless to say I have lost time that could have been spent

On work, but it is reassuring to a certain extent

That one of the many opportunities for a faux pas has been averted

It was a good thing that my attention was diverted..

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A while later I get a reminder that my child has to perform at an event

His outfit is in the laundry, this reminder is a Godsend

As soon as I get home a priority laundry shall be

When it actually gets done is something I still have to see

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My stomach grumbles, I am reminded that dinner has not been prepared

Now I am scratching my head to come up with easy-to-cook fare

There is stuff in my refrigerator and pantry

And I am trying to take a mental inventory

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As I take a break from my desk, I glance at my tired face

I remember that I have to be in more than one place

Where I need to dress the part, some time I need to spend

To spruce myself up, to my vanity tend

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On a Friday evening in the office I am staying late

To complete pending tasks at work, but everything else on my plate

Distracts me to remind me once more

That household responsibilities are always knocking at the door

I finally cross every t and dot every i and prepare to leave

At least now I can focus on my home, a sigh of relief I heave

I am in the middle of something

When I hear a message ping

On my phone, my ubiquitous accessory

I ignore it, it is probably not necessary

For me to interrupt my thought process

For a message, no one should need constant access

To me, and if it is urgent I should be called

Into the habit of repeatedly checking my phone I don’t want to fall

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But my attention has already been diverted

My chain of thoughts has been interrupted

I give in to the temptation of checking the message I’ve received

An AI bot has sent the message, I believe

I should have ignored it, I know

But I an on call as a doctor, it cannot be so

That I disregard a secure message on patient care indefinitely

That is why my phone is not on silent mode, you see..

*

I try to deliver compassionate care

To my patients who are obviously unaware

Of the nature of all the messages I receive

As rude and distracted I probably am perceived

This is the constant struggle that I face

Trying to keep my attention in the right place

As I try to give patients attention undivided

I have to live with interruptions, I’ve decided

In times of distress when I am losing hope

I find myself browsing online for my horoscope

I consider myself a scientifically oriented, rational person

Sometimes I just want reassurance, a prediction

That everything in life shall fall into place

Once planets align themselves in the right phase

If the prediction happens to be unfavorable

I am more careful, reading something negative enables

Me to be extra cautious throughout the day

So that misfortune does not come my way

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Most of the time horoscopic predictions

Have a positive spin given to every situation

That is exactly why I look up to my horoscope

To provide my dismal present future hope

My horoscope seriously I rarely take

Decisions based on predictions I do not make

But reading my horoscope is a pastime harmless

It usually puts me in a better mood, I confess

To spice things up on a boring weekend morning I take

A selfie of myself drinking coffee, portraying enthusiasm fake

#self-care #weekendvibes #authenticlife#slowdays

Hashtags let me describe my mood in creative ways

I have been feeling unmotivated but the likes that I see

In response to my post lift my spirits temporarily

In a boring day some excitement I have generated

Out of nothing, something of interest I have created

My morning cup of coffee is strategically placed

To showcase my rather luxurious living space

In my selfie I look blissful and content

No trace of my dissatisfied life is evident

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Someone somewhere is looking at my post

And assuming that I must be luckier than most

To luxuriously drink coffee inside my beautiful dwelling

They don’t know the lie I am telling..

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On social media it is easy to be deceptive

A glamorous lifestyle you do not need to live

When a strategically snapped photograph can suffice

To tell the story that you want to tell, at the price

Of truth and authenticity- I know I myself can deceive

Therefore posts that look too good to be true I do not believe

For my problems I do not have a solution

So my brain and heart work in collusion

To come up with means of distraction

And I deflect my sorrow into a questionable action

I started shopping for things I do not need online

I try to lose myself in the aesthetics of fashion and design

Before long, I have stress-shopped more than I did intend

To soothe my emotions that are too fragile to mend

I take solace in knowing that at least I’ve not broken the bank

For that, I have my conditioning around money to thank..

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Buying something new gives me temporary relief

But this strategy does not align with my cherished belief

Of decreasing conspicuous consumption, so I feel a twinge of guilt

Towards solving my problems with shopping, resistance I must build

Besides, shopping is for bullet holes a bandaid

I actually need to work on my emotions frayed

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Let me try to treat myself the right way

Take a walk, read or daydream away

I do not need to be on a warpath to proclaim

That women are equal to or better than men, or even the same

A feminist I’m not going to try to be

I do not want to be bitter or angry..

But if a man disrespects a woman just because

He assumes he is superior, that would be cause

For me to speak up against such behavior, for sure

Also, disrespect of a man by a woman I would not endure

Because respect as a human is a fundamental right

For that, one should not have to fight

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I am not a feminist but I come across as one

When I raise my voice against discrimination

Because women more than men happen to be

Targeted by discrimination unfortunately

In a patriarchal order, women sometimes need more resources to enable

Them to have a seat at the male-dominated table

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My gender has never limited me in any way

But I am fortunate in that, I must say

To many woman around the world this privilege has been denied

When they make an effort to break barriers, I am on their side

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I support women, but I do not

Necessarily support them against all men, the thought

Of fighting men just to prove equality

Is a short sighted one personally..

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At the end, I want the world to move towards being more equitable

Where everyone, regardless of gender, race, nationality etc. has a seat at the table

I think what I need is hidden somewhere

In a corner of my home, but I cannot spare

Enough time to try to find it, it is possible indeed

That I actually do not have at home what I need

So I just order the required stuff online

It takes one click, the app is designed

To make online ordering completely painless

It saves me precious time, I confess

Usually I have my merchandise

At my doorstep sooner than I realize

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The stuff I’ve ordered gets used a few times and is banished subsequently

To a cavernous corner of my home, and I do not see

That object for several months and even years

Into the cache of forgotten stuff it disappears

This cycle continues, and eventually I acquire

Several copies of the stuff that I require

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One rare day, to declutter I decide

As I empty from closets things hidden inside

I find duplicates of stuff ordered over the years

My consumerism is wasteful, it is clear

I keep buying more instead of looking after my possessions

I seem to have less time and more disposable income, in true confession

I am partly responsible for the landfills filling up fast

With non-biodegradable stuff that for centuries will last

*

I must learn to keep my stuff organized

I must take care of my possessions prized

Let this be my cue to declutter today

Let me trim the excess away

Most influencers in the beginning create

Authentic content, at a stage when have yet to collaborate

With big brands, they have fresh ideas and a commonsense take

On fashion, beauty, health etc.- they have not learnt to fake

Everything on camera, initially followers they attract

By being relatable, their authenticity is still intact

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As followers grow and opportunities for monetization appear

The line between authenticity and pretense become less clear

All influencers seem to jump on the latest bandwagon

Adopting the newest trends attracts attention

Then brands start approaching to collaborate

More content now the brands dictate

Money flows, and followers grow

The social media account now imitates a professional show

*

With increasing popularity, the original intent

Of posting on social media is diluted by promotional content

Glamorous events, exotic travel, hobnobbing with celebrities

Become the norm, relatability does cease

To exist- the influencer has become a star

From humble beginnings and original followers, they have come far

I don’t understand how and why

Work just expands to occupy

Every waking hour, at least it appears to be so

I try to be fast but inevitably become slow

As new tasks appear seemingly out of nowhere

The moment I get through pending tasks, I am made aware

That there is yet another task waiting for me to complete

And the momentary sense of victory turns into a defeat

Every evening, I leave something pending for the next day

Leading to an endless cycle of all work and no play..

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Staying late to complete work is not an issue for me

As long as I complete every task satisfactorily

What irks me is the inability to reach the finish line

With constant connectivity, it is considered absolutely fine

To take work home and complete it in surroundings comfortable

Tasks appear all day (and evening) long, I find myself incapable

Of working from home without experiencing resentment

To have a sharp demarcation between work and home is my intent

The blurring of lines does not agree with me

I have no desire to work constantly..

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I hope against hope that tomorrow would be

A day when I dot every i and cross every t

Before heading home, unburdened and carefree

Enjoy my evening, for a new day be ready

When being competitive is ingrained in you

The streak of ruthless competition is woven into the fabric of what you do

The world a competitive arena appears

Being left behind is your worst fear

Your greatest motivator comparison becomes

Your are happy only when you think you have won

And you feel you’ve won only when a loss is incurred by someone

You live life looking at others, locked in a perpetual race

You are always afraid to slow down your pace

Your ego is to your achievement inextricably tied

Without oneupmanship you are not satisfied

*

As you grow older, somehow you acquire

Enough wisdom to weaken the competitive fire

You are tired of running a meaningless race

As the inevitable decline of old age you face

You begin to re-evaluate your priorities

Your focus on others starts to decrease

You drop out of the race that was playing out in your mind

Gradually satisfaction in your life you are able to find..

*

I am transitioning into a stage where I feel the urge to compete less

I am more satisfied with my individual progress

I compare myself with others to a lesser extent

To stop doing it completely is my intent