Passion…unbridled

A rather unusual gift I received recently

A book personalized for a reader like me

A book with me as the protagonist

It was a full-length novel and this is the gist-

The story revolves around a sort of medical mystery

That I, the protagonist, solve quite cleverly

Using my skills as a cardiologist and a leader in the community

The book cover includes a professional picture of me

There are some testimonials printed at the back

To give it the authenticity that it otherwise lacks

*

Of course I was intrigued by this book personalized

It was interesting to see my character development, but soon I realized

This book generated by AI seemed quite daft

Worse than an amateur writer’s first draft

While the thoughtfulness of the gift-giver I appreciated

My fear of writing being taken over by AI dissipated

*

A quick internet search showed me how a personalized book could be created

Both fiction and nonfiction books could be generated

In minutes using artificial intelligence

But the writing was formulaic, at times not making much sense

I doubt a reader worth their salt could be deceived by AI

To figure out that the book was not written by a human, one did not need to try

*

I know large language models are learning fast enough to outpace

Human beings in every sphere, but I believe there would always be a place

For authentic storytelling that humankind has always done

The battle of creative expression is unlikely by AI to be won

Don’t say anything if you cannot say something nice

Many women, like myself, have grown up with this advice

It is ingrained so deeply in me that when I try to write

Being negative or critical just does not feel right

But as any avid reader or aspiring writer would know

To create an interesting piece of work, one has to show

Conflict and negativity, introduce shades of grey

Trying to be nice would leave one with nothing to say..

*

There is a lot I would like to write about

But I would ruffle some feathers, no doubt

By being intensely critical of many issues around me

Therefore I tone down my writing intentionally

*

I have nothing nice to say, so my tongue I bite

A writer’s block of my making, I continue to fight

I have so many unfinished dreams…

In the throes of pessimism it seems

That my dreams unrealized would remain

But when I am being rational and sane

I realize that many have come true already..

The dreams that my younger self used to see

*

Thirty years ago, my ambitions did not stretch that far

My goals were less lofty than they now are

Life was simpler, material possessions were few

And so were the things I wanted to do..

*

Many expectations of my younger self I have exceeded

In ways unimaginable to her I have succeeded

But now my dreams are soaring higher

Is it greed or natural expansion of desire?

*

When I feel unfulfilled, myself I need to remind

A lot of blessings in life I’ve been able to find

If my future dreams remain unrealized I shall not fret

I’ve already received much more than I thought I would get

In order to preserve your sanity you know

Do not say yes when you want to say no..

*

How do I interpret this when my first response is always negative

I say no to something immediately and later give

More thought to what was asked of me

And realizing that refusal is too easy

I decide to say yes, as a challenge I view

Whatever it is I’ve been asked to do

I admit that often myself I overextend

I take on more on my plate than I intend

Sometimes I feel exploited as well

Whether I’ve made the right decision, I cannot tell

But there is a distinct sense of achievement too

When I finish something I had initially refused to do

*

I’ve been cautioned that saying yes to everything is unwise

But saying no never moves the needle, I’ve realized

When I say yes, and get things done

It is a win-win situation for everyone

People with an entrepreneurial spirit have realized

That everything you do can be monetized ..

*

You’ve spent hours perfecting your art

You’re passionate about it, you’ve poured into it your heart

It is a means of escape from the daily humdrum

You showcase your art to people, and the suggestions instantly come

To try to sell your art, to monetize your creative avocation

It is meant as a compliment- anything of merit is worth monetization

You get sold on the idea, you start trying to sell

But your passion nosedives when your business starts doing well…

*

You’ve spent months in planning and curation

Of your wedding, you give in to the temptation

To sell your wedding pictures to a popular online magazine

You offset the cost of your wedding, and it is good to be seen

In the public eye- both criticism and praise are heaped on you

You’ve won yourself some moolah, but you’ve lost your privacy too..

*

You create funny videos as a creative outlet

And post them on social media, all you want to get

Is some likes and views from close friends and family

But soon you realize you can turn your content into money

Eventually an influencer with substantial following you become

Your genuine content is now by algorithms run

*

You’ve monetized your passion, your creativity is now a business

Truth be told, there is no longer as much fun in the process

One day an epiphany goes off, and you realize

That your passion, your pastime, you no longer want to monetize

Things unfinished I hate to leave

If I do not complete what I’ve started, I believe

That my precious time has gone down the drain

I take up short projects, that rarely unfinished remain

Even when a film or a book seems to be dragging on

I stick with it, long after the excitement has gone

I do keep hoping for a surprise twist at the end

Either way, I watch or read as long as the story extends

If I am studying for a test, I rarely stop before

The entire material I have tried to store

In my fickle memory, I fight the urge to rest

Before I have combed through the syllabus of my test

*

I paint on small canvases, because I do not possess

The patience to spend days on artwork, I want to be done in six hours or less

And once I have begun, I make sure it is completed the same day

Even if fine details end up being taken away

*

I write short verses for the same reason, instead of prose

I start with a conflict and with a resolution close

My verse is complete within an hour or two

And the next day I can begin anew

If I was given an assignment in school, I would ensure

That I did a bit extra, I wanted to secure

For myself, a respectable position among my peers

And that tendency did not with time disappear

There were people who always sailed through

By doing the bare minimum they were expected to do

To me just doing nothing except the minimum required

Was sheer laziness, I had no desire

To join that club, I wanted to be known

As someone who had sincere effort shown

*

In my adult life, I have realized

That there are times when doing the bare minimum is wise

Because there are multiple tasks taking up space in your mind

By doing the bare minimum you can find

For stuff that really counts, more time and space

Therefore not always going the extra mile I have now embraced

*

In my chosen profession there are serious decisions to take

That require time and effort, where there is a lot at stake

But simultaneously there has been a proliferation

Of busy work that is mandated but has no real ramifications

For patient care, for these assignments I do

The bare minimum that allows me to work without an issue

I still go the extra mile where real work is concerned

This is the practical lesson I have as an adult learnt

Gardening as a hobby exciting appears

Except that I have a strong (not unfounded) fear

Of killing all plants left under my care

I don’t have a green thumb, and even the most hardy plant is not spared

Either I forget to water them or flood them inadvertently

The growth expected from a plant I never see

On my watch only weeds seem to grow

I am lazy about pulling them out, and so

The desirable plants do not survive

While the weeds in all their glory thrive

*

If I had a green thumb I would cultivate

Plants that would fill up most of my plate

Seasonal fruits and vegetables, pesticide-free

Would grow prolifically in my nursery

*

Books on gardening I have tried to read

I have tried to plant both saplings and seeds

I have tried to grow indoor plants too

But raising plants is something I can’t seem to do

*

I still want to my own vegetables one day

But for now, I’ve let that dream wither away

Let me get from farmers’ markets fresh produce

It’s better than letting plants wither on my watch, I’ve deduced

As someone who prefers solitude

I confess that I have never viewed

Clubs of any kind as suitable for me

I’d hardly joined any clubs until recently

When I found it difficult to decline

Participation in a book club- with books and wine

If seemed like an interesting way to spend

An evening with like-minded friends

*

The book that had been chosen for discussion that day

Was one that I was indifferent to anyway

I had read the book beforehand

The plot I wanted to fully understand

To the greatest extent I wanted to participate

My first book club I wanted to celebrate

*

I was not sure how discussing a book in a group would be

Reading, in my opinion is a solitary activity

But when I went there without notions preconceived

I found it much more enjoyable than I had believed

To get a perspective diametrically opposite of mine

Even though we all had read the same lines

Was a refreshing experience, novel to me

I discovered how enjoyable a book club meeting could be

*

Now a book club of my own I want to run

To get more people to realize that reading is fun

Reading aloud, dissecting characters and their motivations

In a group is much better than silent interpretation

A self-imposed challenge that I face

Is to find in my schedule enough space

To read the various forms of writing I want to

Medical journals, books, news articles, to name a few

Somehow I find time to read novels despite their length

But at the end of a workday I cannot muster will power and strength

To read journal articles related to my profession

I postpone such reading indefinitely, in true confession

Then there are news stories that I compulsively read

To stay updated on current affairs, truth is more engaging than fiction indeed

Many magazine articles, poems, travelogues I curate

To read at my convenience, but my stamina dissipates

After the first few lines, unread such articles stay

As I keep postponing reading them to another day

*

Unfortunately, in reading social media posts more time I spend

Than I should, reading about and watching the latest trends

This time sink I must avoid, I must read

Everything that for self-development I need

Social isolation is a malady of the twenty-first century

But as I just found out, it has created a trillion dollar industry

*

The loneliness economy is growing by leaps and bounds

The purveyors of capitalism have found

That lonely people have higher screen-time usage

They retain subscriptions, with emotionally charged content engage

Their loneliness is exploited and monetized

By feeding them content customized

*

People living in isolation are customers excellent

In chasing a dopamine rush their time and money are spent

In impulse purchases and scrolling endless

Their attempts to keep at bay loneliness

Are for businesses quite profitable

For them loneliness is a trait favorable

*

In the throes of loneliness, I’ll try not to be

A fodder for the loneliness economy

Instead of scrolling mindlessly on my phone

I’ll spend time reading a book alone

One of my yardsticks in evaluating a good day

Is whether the book I’ve been reading has been impactful in some way

*

I read to escape into a world different from the one in which I reside

When I start reading a book, I gear up for a roller-coaster ride

Sometimes the ride is amazing and the book leaves me spellbound

In those moments I feel as if Nirvana I have found

If I end my day after reading a book that has kept me engaged

The day has been successful according to my gauge

If a book leaves me angry like they rarely do

In a negative light my day I view

*

Unfortunately, a number of books that I read do not leave

Any lasting impression- I’ve come to perceive

The days on which I read such books as unremarkable

I then browse aggressively for books that appear desirable

*

On a great note I am ending this day

Because I read a book that was delightful in every way