A mother’s fear

As a mother my greatest fear
Is to pass along to my child dear
Everything that is flawed in me
Twisted genes, bad habits, insecurities…
I wish all that is in me undesirable
Somehow is rendered unable
To be transmitted to him, I wish somehow
For a filter that would only allow
Positive attributes of mine to flow through
While sieving out negativities too..

Alas such a filter exists not in this world
I have to be cautious in deed and word
To prevent my child from imbibing my less attractive traits
I fail to do so often, then myself I berate
For setting wrong examples, being weak
Some form of redemption then I seek
I am hypervigilant often for signs of projection
Of my insecurities on him, he needs protection
From my flawed ways of thinking which have brought me
Anguish and sorrow, quite frankly…

Many a times I am convinced that I
Am the worst patent under the sky
But my son ends up bringing my soul solace
When a positive attitude he displays
Of my internal struggles he is unaware
I am the one he follows everywhere
When he works hard, I am glad to see
At least he has imbibed from me industry
Yet when he displays impatience, it is a reflection
Of his having absorbed my imperfection..

I set the examples, therefore I should
Set good ones, it’s expected from motherhood..