Lend me an ear..


Hard as it is, I am compelled to say

Everything I had managed to keep hidden to this day


Behind a beguiling smile it was much easier to hide

Than to display the tsunami raging inside

Who had the time, who would have understood me

In a world where perception is considered reality..

Benumbed I lumbered from day to day

Existing- ghostlike, not living in any meaningful way..

The world..closing around my throat

Drowning, just drowning in a deep dark moat..

Living in a body that was struggling to survive

With a mind that wanted to stop being alive..


The days went on, off my tongue excuses flew

I said I was exhausted, there was too much to do

I stuck to ailments, or ailments stuck to me

Acknowledging physical pain was easier, definitely

Aimless, directionless, hopeless, I drifted further away

Deeper I sank into the black hole of depression each day


When life seemed like a burden too heavy to bear

When I was at the point I did not really care

When  jumping off the proverbial cliff appeared

To be the only solution to my pain, destiny interfered….


That day I was going to jump off a bridge and die

It was a gloomy day, rain poured from the sky

What rescued me was my lifelong disdain

Of getting drenched in the falling rain-

I took refuge in a church nearby

And decided to pray before I could die

I tried to pray but in my benumbed state

No coherent prayer could my mind formulate

Just then I heard a gentle voice asking me

If I had something to confess- it would unburden me

This was a sign from above, and all of a sudden

A deluge opened up, and out poured the hidden

Feelings of despair, depression, hopelessness

The kind priest listened, and understood my distress

Instead of the bridge, to a hospital I was headed

Despite my depression, this was the one place I dreaded

If people knew I was mentally ill, how would they react

Even in my despair I could not bear the ignominy of that..

Yet I surrendered to the priest who accompanied me

I got treated, got the resources I needed desperately


The struggle has not completely gone away

But I am much better than I was, today

One empathetic ear became my lifeline

I consider this intervention divine

Sometimes the difference between 

Life and untimely death could mean

Just one person ready to lend an ear

Someone you can confide in without any fear


Today I sit, on the other side

Lending an ear to someone contemplating suicide

I volunteer for a suicide prevention hotline

With this, a purpose I’ve been able to find..

(This poem was prompted by the untimely death by suicide of a young talented Indian actor.)

















Published by iheart11

A 30-something year old woman, physician by profession, fiercely passionate about work, family, travel and fashion..

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