Too late to apologize

I know you are here to eulogize

Since you are too late to apologize

For all the times you did not hear

His silent pleas for help, that were loud and clear

In retrospect- twenty-twenty is hindsight

You did not realize he was losing the fight

To live- in the midst of unprecedented stress

Of these times, when he spoke of his distress

You tried to dismiss his concerns, steer away

From the topic, saying that times were bad anyway

You did not know that when he agreed with you

He bottled up his sadness, his frustrations too

When he said he was sad, you actually thought

Anecdotes forwarded would cheer him, did you not?

When he talked of endings in roundabout ways

You declared everyone was talking about it these days..

He looked odd on facetime, but you did not know

That depression had made his eyes lose the glow

When he said he was lonely you commiserated

How the quarantine was leaving you exasperated

You completely forgot that such things he had said

Even earlier, before the pandemic spread

Thinking back the signs you clearly see

He just seemed distant, never present fully..

**

You are trying your best to do what you can

No words can bring back to life that man

You thought you could deliver a lasting tribute

To your departed friend, list each positive attribute

But words fail you, barely a word you manage to say

When a deluge of tears comes blocking your way

This time your living friends surround you

You look them in the eye, this you must learn to do

To check on each one, find how they are feeling

Discover if under anxiety and depression they are reeling

You promise you would try to lend a non-judgmental ear

To each and everyone you hold near and dear

You hope, there will be no more eulogies

You hope, there will be no more apologies…