“When will you settle down?”

In Indian society, this is the question everyone seems to have for young adults, particularly women, and it usually refers to marriage. As intrusive as it is, it is a common question and I have a tongue-in-cheek reply…

What do you mean by “settling down”, tell me

I am educated, have a career and live independently

If settling down means planting my roots here

I’ll do that after I’m done exploring the world, have no fear

I see, maybe you are concerned about my loneliness

So you think I should settle down, or settle for less?

I have enough social interactions to keep loneliness at bay

And who said marriage drives loneliness away?

So you are concerned about my aging biological clock

This is something about which we don’t need to talk

How did you assume that I want to be

A mother soon, without knowing me

I am not against societal institutions as such

But making them my life goals right now does not interest me much

It may surprise you, but I feel settled right now

When desired change appears in my life, its entry I shall allow

Most likely I shall “settle down” per your definition narrow

If and when that happens, your curiosity would let you know

Let me however reiterate that my happiness

Is not contingent on “settling down”, nor is my life’s success