Thin

Why am I so gullible to the myth of being thin

That when I get on the scale it seems like a a win

In the midst of feeling that I’m losing out

On many other counts, I feel good about

My near static and (relatively) desirable weight

I know that being thin does not equate

Health, will power or strength of character

Weight just serves as a distractor

From the other insecurities that I face

I try to feel good about being in a good place

With my weight, at least the impression people have of me

Is not that I am gluttonous, undisciplined or lazy

Hopefully I come across as being energetic and agile

The thought gives me comfort for a while..

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The irony is that even at a normal weight

I have made it a point on which to fixate..

In true confession I am terrified of weight gain

A few pounds would not affect my health but the psychological pain

Of having failed at the one thing in which I had success

Would be much more than I can process..

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As I reflect on my dysfunctional relationship with weight

Despite knowing better, I try to evaluate

How social conditioning is so hardwired in my brain

That I fall for the myth of thin being desirable again and again

If I feel this way, I can only imagine how those not as thin

Must feel- most probably don’t feel comfortable in their skin..

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I do not know who needs to hear this today

But being thin does not reflect on who you are in any way…