A Mother’s Worry

Each time dissatisfaction with my child I express

I get extremely worried, I confess

Were the words I uttered in an annoyed state

More damaging than I could estimate

Was I scarring my child for life, was I lowering his self-esteem

Was I alienating him from myself, overbearing to him did I seem?

*

I read about childhood trauma causing scars permanent

And wonder if I have traumatized my child and to what extent

I beg a higher power for forgiveness, and yet I don’t know

How to not let my rather scathing criticism show

I try to remind myself not to expect my son

To fulfill my overt and covert expectations

But the perfectionist streak that runs through me

Makes me parent him more harshly

I wish I could stop each time I begin to criticize

But when I am upset, this is not something I realize

*

I want, like all mothers, for my son to grow

Into a confident individual who knows

His self-worth, someone who is not held back

By self-doubt, someone who initiative does not lack

Someone who is ready to go out and claim

The world as his oyster, to make for himself a name

And I sincerely hope I do not a hindrance present

To his growth and his holistic development