Passion…unbridled

It is 2 AM at night; I cannot sleep

And I cannot visualize myself counting sheep

I’m squandering away the rest I have earned

After a busy day at work, I don’t have hours to burn

In a state of wakefulness, I know I would be tired

The next day after a night of staying wired

*

I’ve gone through the best parts of my day

I’ve tried to channel pleasant thoughts in every way

I reach for my phone in desperation

And embark on a futile search for inspiration

On strategies to deal with sleeplessness

But my mind keeps racing in a manner relentless

*

While tossing and turning, a sense of loneliness profound

Engulfs me- I feel I am the only one around

Wide awake at this hour of the night

Trying to fall asleep with all my might..

*

The next day I wake up, jolted by the alarm on my phone

I am a but confused, as if in the twilight zone

I remember thinking about feeling lonely but I cannot

Remember if I had any more thoughts

I must have fallen asleep then, I realize

As I try to shake sleep from my eyes

*

It is ironic that insomnia appears to be

An experience that is solitary

But millions of people suffer from this malady

Experiencing it separately but simultaneously

Next time when wide awake at night I lie

To imagine an insomniac counterpart, I shall try

Perhaps that would lull me to sleep

Without going through the ordeal of counting sheep

In the library books in large print I would see

I would sidestep that section completely

Large print was for octogenarians, I thought

Until I began to realize I could not

Read small print in my early forties as I could before

I started paying attention to books in large print some more

With presbyopia encroaching on my myopic eyes

Reading large print was a treat, I did realize

*

Corrective lenses for near vision eventually I procured

So that distress at seeing fine print I would not have to endure

While regular font I can read without straining my eyes

The same does not hold true for words italicized

Words, sentences, paragraphs I cannot read

It is frustrating for a reader like me indeed

*

Therefore, overcoming my prejudice against large-print books

That was the section of the library in which I started to look

Unfortunately there was only a limited selection

Prompting my return to the usual adult book section

*

I wish publishers would keep aging eyes in mind

When the font for a book is being designed

These days most of us rarely use

All five senses in an activity, to choose

Something that involves our senses can be

A grounding practice to counter restlessness and anxiety

*

In searching for a practice that would engage all five senses of mine

I found that some religious rituals were designed

In such a way that sight, sound, smell, touch and taste converge

To connect the soul to the surrounding universe

Although to many Hindu temples I have been

Through this lens the rituals of worship I had not seen

*

I take off my shoes at the entrance

My feel touch the floor, engaging my first sense

I ring the bell and the high-pitched sound

Invokes a sense of spirituality profound

Soothing devotional music I hear

I feel a sense of calm appear

I take in the sight of the deities dressed in silks fine

And the devotees bowing their heads to a power divine

The sweet smell of incense makes its way to me

With four senses engaged, I am now immersed blissfully

In the ritual of worship, after the chanting of prayers is complete

I am ready to accept the prasad, the divine offering, and eat

The food prepared with devotion for the temple deity

This step engages the final sense of taste for me

*

Apart from its religious or spiritual aspect, this practice

Engages sequentially all five senses

Visiting the temple, therefore, I find

Invigorates my spirit and mind

For anyone who has witnessed

Your voice being silenced, your ability to freely express

Yourself taken away from you, you should realize

That your voice is powerful, otherwise

Why would someone try to silence it anyway

Your oppressors know you have something noteworthy to say

That would destroy their fragile sense of superiority

Therefore silencing those perceived as weaker is for them a priority..

*

When your freedom of expression is restricted

Your self-esteem becomes increasingly constricted

You start believing your voice is inconsequential

You end up stifling your own potential

This way you end up proving them right

You give them what they want without a fight

*

Even if you are being silenced, do not lose

Your voice, instead make an effort to choose

Another avenue to make your voice heard

From self-expression, do not let yourself be deterred

You can fool all the people part of the time,

You can fool some people all the time

But it is important to understand that you cannot

Fool all the people all the time- this thought

Attributed to Lincoln is cent percent true

And yet fooling the public repeatedly is what politicians try to do..

*

There are leaders who broadcast their messages loud and clear

And at first promising their ideas appear

Their charismatic speeches exert influence considerable

On the unsuspecting public, and they are able

To come into power, most people still believe

That the new leader would provide them with reprieve

From the failings of the previous leadership

That their fortunes would now be able to

*

Nothing really changes, empty promises continue

Most people are now able to see through

The relentless deception in practice here

Things are really as bad as they appear

*

Some people are still unable to understand

How they are being fooled in their own land

Most people were deceived previously

But the reality they are now able to see

*

The next time there appears an opportunity to vote

The chances of the same person fooling everyone are remote

Another leader would get a chance to deceive

People by giving them new falsehoods in which to believe

It is December and I would like to slow down and reflect

Over the year that has passed, but the prospects

Of being able to do so appear rather grim

My well of things to do is full up to the brim..

*

There are targets to meet, memberships to renew

Thoughtful, personalized gifts I need to buy for everyone too

There are invites to holiday parties that I must accept or deny

That all this does not stress me out would be an outrageous lie..

*

At the same time, the pace of work does not show signs of slowing at all

Respiratory viruses are abundant as we enter winter from fall

It appears that both work and social obligations

Are on a path of relentless acceleration

*

That is why it is even more important for me

To take a pause and reflect momentarily

On the year that has gone by, the lessons I have learned

Before the last page of this year’s book has been turned

These days meetings are held both in-person and online

Both types of meetings vary substantially in design

Virtual meetings more efficient seem

It takes only minutes to gather a team

From different corners of the world, no travel is required

Therefore virtual meetings have universal acceptability acquired

*

A study on this issue made some interesting observations

In virtual meetings, the entire communication

Occurs through a small box on the screen before you

Turns out being boxed in prevents out-of-the-box thinking too

Creative solutions do not come as easily to mind

When you are participating in a meeting online..

*

Virtual meetings in my life are fortunately rare

But each time I participate in one, I am aware

That I am more distracted than in a face-to-face meeting I would be

I would not be the one to impress anyone virtually

I shudder to think of being interviewed for a job online

In that my personality would never shine

*

Virtual meetings are here to stay

I’m just glad I have none scheduled in my day

When I see in any part of the world laundry hung out to dry

A wave of nostalgia hits me hard, I do not know why

The sight of clothes swaying gently from a clothesline

In an apartment balcony or in an open courtyard has come to define

The essence of the land that I left behind

Now that drying clothes to an appliance is confined..

*

Hanging out wet laundry blended seamlessly

Into the rhythm of daily life, comforting in its predictability

Sun-dried clothes feeling warm against the skin

In unexpected rain, rushing to bring clothes in

Those vivid memories have stayed with me

Evoked whenever laundry hanging to dry I see

*

The conservationist in me would like to choose

This practice on sunny days, I don’t think we need to use

An appliance to dry clothes on sunny days

Even if it seems primitive in some ways

*

Clothes drying im the sun never fail to remind

Me of the simpler life I left behind….

I go about life at a hurried pace

I feel like there is no space

For me to take a pause throughout the day

I want to get work done, get tasks out of my way

Before I give myself permission to rest

If I take a break, my sense of urgency protests..

*

Then I see people all around me

Who do not appear to be in any hurry

They go about their day at a leisurely pace

I wonder what it would be like to swap my place

With someone who does not feel the need

To go through life at a breakneck speed

*

Besides being the embodiment of a type A personality

I grew up in a metropolis where life seemed to be

A near-constant race- then I chose to become a physician

My work demands urgency in making decisions..

*

Now I am a woman trying to juggle

Work and home responsibilities , time management is a constant struggle

I need to learn from those who live at a slower pace

An unhurried life I would like to embrace

She was cooking her signature dish for the family

I wondered if there was magic hidden in the recipe

Because when she was engrossed in shaping the dough

There appeared on her face a beatific glow

She was humming a song in a language I did not recognize

There was a dreamy, faraway look in her eyes..

*

Displaced by war my grandmother had been

As a young girl, unspeakable horrors she had seen

She settled in a new land as a refugee

Her old life became a distant, dark memory

There were few traces left of her past-

But some memories were built to last..

*

Food is the bridge between her past and present

Between the home she lost and the one she created with intent

Whenever she cooks her traditional recipes

She brings to life her fondest memories

She conjures her old world, inviting us in its fold

Food is the medium through which her stories are told

*

Amid the disorientation of being displaced

Her recipes served to ground her in a new place

Her stories are with her recipes intertwined

To learn all about both I am inclined

I am surprised at my own audacity

In trying to create art beyond my capacity

When complex inspiration pieces I select

Outcomes similar to the originals I cannot expect..

I start drawing with plenty of exuberance

Soon thereafter I begin to lose confidence

In my ability to complete the artwork but at this stage I cannot

Abandon my project, I have already invested a lot

Of effort and time, so I keep working on it somehow

The use of permanent coloring tools does not allow

Correction of errors, but I try every trick I know

For all my effort, I desperately want to have something nice to show..

*

In the finished piece lines are crooked and proportions are skewed

But at least my artwork is complete and ready to be viewed

Through the lens of my phone, and enhanced

With a variety of filters which give it a chance

To look presentable enough, even though

The artwork is amateurish, quite clearly so

*

Next time I resolve to pick something more appropriate

For my limited artistic ability, but again my skills I overestimate

Once again an overambitious experiment I choose

Once again I let my shaky ego get bruised…

*

But practice makes perfect, so I continue

To aim for something that currently I cannot do

My inbox with post-Thanksgiving deals is inundated

I wonder how my email account is not yet saturated

With offers from every vendor under the sun

It is not like a lottery I have won

My purchasing power is the same as before

I don’t think I can buy shiny baubles anymore..

*

Every business big and small is trying to entice

Customers with discounts that seem really nice

I assume most customers are like me

I have only a limited capacity

To browse goods and sniff out the best deals

Going through a maze of offers stressful does feel

*

Don’t get me wrong, I love when I can buy things on sale

But this over-enthusiastic marketing is likely to fail

In achieving its objective- I do not need to be

Inundated with advertisements to contribute to the economy