Passion…unbridled

For those practicing medicine, this profession used to be enough

To satisfy Maslow’s hierarchy of needs,  but it seems increasingly tough

To rely on medicine alone for income, professional satisfaction and self-actualization

They all seem to looking for a side gig for income diversification

Not just a hobby but something substantial to replace

Both income and vocation when burnout in healthcare they face..

*

Physicians tend to be life-long learners , so they are not afraid

To pivot if needed, and learn from scratch a new trade

Finding another vocation in which they can do reasonably well

Is not difficult once they decide to retreat from the field in which they excel

*

With more physicians trying to cut down their hours or leave medicine entirely

An impending shortage of highly trained professionals we can foresee

To train as a doctor takes years with sacrifices along the way

To complete training, milestones in life and gratification they delay

Therefore leaving medicine is not a frivolous decision 

It happens only when a hopeful future they cannot envision

In the long-term, they cannot be easily replaced

But the system does little to address the challenges they face…

*

I hope the healthcare system recognizes and tries

To address burnout in physicians, those in administration need to realize

That the problem is going to reach crisis proportions eventually 

There wouldn’t be enough doctors to take care of a population aging rapidly

Sometimes my workday feels light as a feather

I am looking for a challenge, a storm to weather

I am full of energy and optimistic

I want to do better than the average statistic

I get work done with surprising efficiency

I am as meticulous and thorough as I can be

Being productive in this way gives me positive feedback

Even more work in limited hours I can pack

*

Sometimes the workday seems to drag on endlessly

I am inefficient and slow, no end appears in sight for me

I get distracted, make mistakes, have to backtrack

Making my workday longer, but motivation I lack

To complete work on time in order to get home

Instead I toil away at my desk, all alone

*

The workplace demands that all my workdays

Should look like the former, I should be efficient in every way

Therefore when I have a day of low motivation

I find myself trying to come up with a valid explanation

But the truth is that some days I feel slow without a particular reason

Probably due to poor sleep quality, traffic snarls or the winter season

*

Today is a day of no motivation at all

Into a cycle of inattention I continue to fall

Let me wrap up the day here, tomorrow when I come back

I hope discipline, motivation and energy I would not lack

When I am looking for a creative idea, what I do

Is the exact opposite of what I need to..

I scroll through my phone trying to find

Some content that sends a signal to my mind

To get the creative juices flowing through me

But this trick, though often used, works rarely

Once in a while I stumble upon an idea worth exploring

But mostly I just scroll through content insipid and boring

Realizing that precious time I have wasted away

And a creative idea I have not found along the way..

*

To foster my creativity I should sit alone

Let my mind wander, leave my phone

Empty my mind of thoughts pervasive

My attention to the resultant stillness I should give

Devoid of distractions, I should be

Able to come up with ideas more freely..

*

Next time I have a creative itch to scratch

I shall follow my own advice to detach

Myself from the myriad distractions around

I hope the secret to creative expression I’ve found

A lot of things grab my attention fast

But my attention is fickle, it does not last

Before an idea is fully absorbed by my mind

My attention jumps to something else- I find

In a world full of information overload, everyone

Is trying to grab everyone else’s attention..

*

As a consumer, attention is the most important trait I possess

That politicians, businesses, activists, media outlets all want to harness

All the savvy people out there know

Wherever my attention stays, there my cash would flow

*

My attention is my secret weapon, it should be spent

In a discerning manner, my inclination should be bent

Towards ideas and issues that really matter to me

My attention I should not dispense freely

*

I have attention deficit syndrome, acquired

As an adult- life these days requires

Paying attention to multiple stimuli on devices electronic

That beep constantly, and I don’t know which stimulus to pick

*

My precious attention I first need to reclaim

For myself, before I place the blame

On all the organizations vying for it

And that is a difficult task, I admit

*

Now that I’ve realized my attention is valuable

Let me be mindful of the content I consume, be able

To distinguish between real issues and those designed

To cause outrage and grab attention of the fickle mind..

There is an element of defiance all of us carry inside

To live harmoniously in the society that trait we try to hide

We fantasize about breaking rules and getting away

Without any repercussions or roadblocks in our way..

*

There are people who have the chutzpah to openly display

Their disdain at established rules, their charisma helps them get away

With behavior that would be considered egregious

For, if not all, then the majority of us

Many of us come to grudgingly admire

Such rule-breakers, secretly we wish to acquire

The Devil-may-care attitude that they possess

By which the defiant streak within us is impressed

*

These strongmen on a pedestal we place

Their ideology over time we embrace

It all starts with the desire for defiance

Of rules, and ends up with blind compliance

With the playbook they have designed

This is how they get control over our minds

(A study published in JAMA Network Open on 400000 people across the US in 2024 showed that only ~40% of Americans trusted their doctors in January 2024 compared to 71% in April 2020).

Of patient-physician relationship, trust should be the foundation

Only if there is trust would patients follow the recommendations

Of their doctors, and if they do not trust what physicians say

It leads to poor outcomes and dissatisfaction in every way

*

There are so many factors that undermine

Trust in physicians that it is difficult to define

A pathway to improving this crucial component

Of the relationship between the two, and prevent

Further erosion of trust in the healthcare system as a whole

In overall deterioration of public health, mistrust plays a huge role

*

The fee for service model is increasingly obscure

To both patients and physicians, healthcare providers are unsure

Of the costs of services that they provide

While patients perceive they’re being taken for a ride

While insurance and pharmaceutical companies increasingly dictate care

Patients interact only with their healthcare teams, they are only aware

Of what they are told by their providers, and if their care is too expensive

They unfortunately view their doctors in a manner negative

*

This is a predicament that I reflect on every day

This is a challenge that is not expected to go away

How do I make patients believe that I’m on their side

That I make recommendations in good faith and have nothing to hide?

*

I think it is imperative for me to familiarize

Myself with costs that patients face, I’ve realized

That often my evidence-based treatment plans for patients designed

To improve their conditions are unaffordable for them- I find

Belatedly that the reasons behind their noncompliance (and resentment)

Are the skyrocketing costs to a great extent

I try to gain their trust at the first meeting before

Adding on procedures and medications more

*

It would be dishonest of me not to say

That the system incentivizes us in such a way

That we lean towards doing more procedures indeed

Thus patients are recommended procedures that they may not always need

The truth of unnecessary procedures probably has been overblown

But the erosion of trust is largely due to this factor alone

*

My trustworthiness is at the heart of what I do

I hope I can not only build but uphold patients’ trust in me too

Why do I this conundrum face

When I stand out in a place

I feel uncomfortable in my skin

And all I try to do is fit in

I don’t want to be singled out easily

I want to merge with others imperceptibly

*

But when with the crowds I seem to blend

When it appears I am following the popular trend

I have a yearning to break away

To distinguish myself from others in some way

I want to be recognized as an individual unique

Acknowledgment from others that I am special I seek

*

I am looking for external validation

To make me feel better in each situation

That is indeed a sad state of affairs

I wish I could be someone who did not care

About fitting in or standing out, and simply be

In every situation, the real unpretentious me

I will have to work on developing a degree of comfort

In my own skin, such that being in either situation does not hurt..

I first started writing, mostly to vent

Placing my angst on paper was a way in which my anger was spent

When I was emotionally distraught, I would write

In the process I would calm down and gain some insight

When I look back at my early writing, the common themes appear

To be those of anger, disappointment, anxiety and fear

To a melancholy person the writing seems to belong

Someone in whose life everything was wrong

*

As I continued to write, I turned the emphasis away

From myself, and wrote about my experiences from day to day

I would observe, hear or read something and file it away in my mind

To be retrieved when the opportunity to write I could find

Thus my writing became an informal commentary

On the state of the world around me

My experiences as a physician occupied a prominent place

But my verses still had a rather serious face

*

Initially I wrote for myself but as I continued to write

A hypothetical reader I kept in sight

I wrote what I thought someone would like to read

(Is it surprising that the fictional reader was a strict teacher indeed?)

*

As I have continued in my writing practice I’ve found

My own distinctive voice, and in a turnaround

I am writing for myself again, but this time it is different

Instead of writing from discomfort I write from contentment

I feel, I taste, I breathe the joy in my words as I write

I do not care if I get the craft of poetry right

Writing is meditative, and writing is a pleasure

My inner growth as a writer is something I treasure

It is hard to make sense of the world right now

I have to disengage myself from negativity somehow

Being reactive and outraged is not helpful to anyone

By acting on impulse, more damage can be done

*

Let me stop doom-scrolling in a manner compulsive

Less mental space to the drama of current news I need to give

When everything changes in less than a day

I should not let my sanity go astray..

*

More than ever, on finding fulfillment in my vocation I concentrate

I lean in to my family support, acknowledge the bounty on my plate

I draw myself in a close circle as the world around me

Appears to be fraught with confusion and uncertainty

“Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know possible.” ― Tia Walker

You stay in the background, behind the wheelchair

You have valuable insights to share

That are relevant to the medical condition

Of the one you care for, your loved one

You’ve driven her here, wheeled her in

Listened to her rants while waiting

To her personal needs you have promptly attended

You’ve fed her since it is taking longer than intended

To be seen by the physician, they’re running behind

You’re rehearsing what to say repeatedly in your mind

Some uncomfortable truths you have to relay

To the physician, but that must not get in the way

Of your tenuous relationship as a caregiver

You know you constantly battle with her

About being compliant with medications

You want this to be reinforced by her physician

But you must do it tactfully, because you know

How that conversation could go

With vehement denials from her side

How much to say, and how, you’re still trying to decide

*

The physician appears, quiet in the background you stay

But then speak up before they turn away

You are just the caregiver, the focus is on the patient

But to reveal your perspective seems important..

*

The visit is over, you wheel your patient out

She would be annoyed at your interjection, no doubt

But she turns to you and unexpectedly says,

“Thank you for keeping me on track always”

*

That one sentence is enough to melt away

Your caregiver fatigue, at least for the day

I read that reading consistently rewires your brain in such a way

That new neural connections are formed, depression is kept at bay

Not that I need another reason to read any more than I do already

It is still heartening to know that I’m doing something beneficial for me..

*

While interacting with social media keeps the sympathetic nervous system in overdrive

Books stimulate the parasympathetic system, essential to revive

Depleted stores of energy that you on a regular basis face

Watching videos with reading you might try to replace

*

You watch educational videos, you argue

You can learn from them anything you want to

But when you read you have to imagine each scene

That is a powerful way to use brain cells, it means

You are exercising both cerebral hemispheres simultaneously

What can a better way of engaging your brain be?

*

In order to preserve my shrinking brain cells I read

The ability of my brain to develop new pathways I need

Enough said, let me now curl up in a cozy nook

And read with pleasure a well-written book

I had been around illnesses for many years

But until covid hit, I had never experienced fear

Of catching a virus, getting sick from exposure

To sick patients, though in full disclosure

I was careful with hand hygiene, as expected of me

But that was all I did, never did I worry

About exposure to germs even in the flu season

To take extra precautions there seemed no reason

*

Covid has altered my relationship with germs permanently

I have become a germaphobe evidently

Personal protective gear is my best friend

My distance from other people I subconsciously extend

I start getting worried when respiratory viruses strike

My anxiety levels increase as flu, Covid and RSV spike

Each time I sneeze, cough or blow my nose

I worry if I’ve caught a bug from contact close

*

Covid has taught me to respect viruses of almost kinds

Protecting myself from exposure is a priority in my mind