Passion…unbridled

When I need to find a few moments in my day

To escape the pressures of work and go away

To a different place, I mentally disengage

From work and turn to a crisp blank page

Of my notebook and begin to write

At first writer’s block I have to fight

But then I get into the writing groove

And my pen synchronously with my thoughts starts to move..

*

I lose myself completely as I try to create

A space for myself to think and contemplate

The complexities of life, as I continue to pour

My thoughts into words, I gain insight that I lacked before

*

Sometimes I am fortunate enough

To complete my writing, but often it is tough

To take my verses to a conclusion

The demands of work invariably cause interruption

*

I come back to my unfinished work eventually

And I feel grateful to witness the clarity

That my writing escape has helped me find

Those stolen moments have done wonders for my mind..

If you as a leader want a perspective wide

Include someone from the other side

On your team, listen to their views

Respectfully, and then carefully choose

As the team leader, your overall approach

Hopefully you take a decision beyond reproach..

*

You can choose people who side with you

Who support you in everything you do

Unwaveringly, then your deliberations would proceed

Without opposition, it would be smooth sailing indeed..

But if you have someone with opposite views to state

You can expect some friction, some debates

The end result would be more balanced, though

As your opponent has offered the perspective you did not know

*

Don’t just sit in echo chambers with sycophants around

Let opposing voices also make a sound

Both sides of a coin are valuable, therefore

Listen to the other side some more

I look completely normal but I hide

A deep seated burden inside

Of chronic illness that does not

Allow me to be carefree- the thought

Of instability is never far from my mind

If I am not careful I know I can find

Myself in deep trouble, even a life-threatening emergency

I have to plan for every contingency..

*

You may wonder why I often do not go

Along with your spur of the moment plans, you should know

That plans in my life are rarely made on the spot

Behind my seemingly spontaneous decisions is much thought

I can conquer the world if I am well prepared

To tackle my condition, but I can crash if caught unaware

*

Although I think I manage my condition quite well

On a false sense of security, I never dwell

Unpredictability is the name of the game

No matter how much this illness I tame

*

The constant reminder of my illness

Sometimes gets overwhelming, I confess

I long to do things and go places without

Having to consider my limitations throughout..

*

I am still learning to take life day by day

I know I can easily get carried away

In catastrophizing when things do not appear conducive

But then go back to safety and stability- with this dichotomy I live

I write about issues that are close to my heart

To give expression to my thoughts and emotions I create my art

But I would be lying if I said my art or writing are just for me

I would love for my work to be disseminated widely

Although I focus on enjoying the creative process

If people would see my work, I would count is as a success

I would not be as bothered by criticism or negative comments

As I am by the thought of my work staying irrelevant…

*

Ah, I think it is my ego at play here

It has been bruised over the years, I fear

It makes its ire known to me

It wants validation externally

*

Writing by itself should be validation

Of my ability to write, I should not harbor an expectation

For someone else to read what I write

Writing is for self-expression, of this I should not lose sight…

In a world where time we (women especially) lack

There is always room for another shortcut or hack ..

*

The corridors of social media are replete

With clever hacks to help you complete

Tasks that are lengthy and laborious

In fewer steps without much fuss

Hyperbolically toured as genius tricks

With catchy phrases that in your mind stick

They often promise results similar to, or even better

Than from the original process followed to the letter

But the steps suggested are strange at best

And do not perform well when put to test

Sometimes the hack is an age-old technique

Repackaged and refurbished as being unique

*

I have given in to the temptation

And followed some hacks with the expectation

Of stellar results, only to be completely dissatisfied

I end up regretting the decision of having tried

The hack, lured by the promise of time free

Because extra time is the utmost luxury…

*

Eventually, the number of ways in which something can be done

Is finite-you cannot create something new each time, without repetition

When there is pressure to continually create novel content

When gaining subscribers and followers is the intent

Content creators come up with hacks of all kinds

Because time-saving tools people generally useful find

Except- these hacks are not useful anyway

You would be better off following the tried and tested way..

I need to borrow a playbook from someone

Who is able to get a million things done

Without breaking a sweat or getting fatigued

How many women juggle myriad responsibilities leaves me intrigued

Whereas I am always trying to chase

Time that evaporates into thin air always

Leaving me exhausted, unfulfilled and demoralized

At the end of the day I am left surprised

Thinking about where my schedule I should tweak

To expand my plate further, something I desperately seek…

*

In my fantasy world I would be at the top of my game in my career

I would move from challenge to challenge without fear

Have time to pursue interests of variety wide

All the principles of good parenting in my life would be applied

I would practice self-care so that I could be

The most attractive, accomplished version of me

*

The verse above describes an order of things too difficult to achieve

In real life, even if I could magically believe

That it is possible, I would never be able to find

The do-it-all persona that is etched in my mind

So let me get off the fantasy express into the world that I occupy

And get down to work, foregoing my expectations sky-high

It should come as no surprise

That the spread of social media has given rise

To self-obsession, many of us regularly post online

Pictorial evidence of our daily lives- workouts, outfits, nail designs..

It becomes a reflex and we do not pause

To think why we are posting something, because

We’ve become accustomed to the flattering comments

That we get on our posts, never mind that few are sincere in their intent..

*

If you think hard, unless you are a public figure or a celebrity

Why would most people be interested in the

nitty-gritty

Details of your personal life, why would they care

About what you do all day- although if you share

Too much, some day it may come back to bite

If you became a public figure, much to your future critics’ delight

*

Documenting life on social media in an aesthetically pleasing way

Paints a false picture of your life from day to day

You are probably doing it because of the attention you receive

But at the same time, other people you unwittingly deceive

*

As always, this verse is written as much for me

As for anyone else, I need to evaluate objectively

How much and what I post, the reasons why I do so

How my insecurities play into my posts, I want to know..

Many of Shakespeare’s tragedies took place

On a backdrop of fierce storms that the characters had to face

Storms heralded tumultuous change and violence

They served to make the drama more intense

Many dramatists, novelists and writers of screenplay

Use storms to create imagery to this day

*

Origin stories begin with an inundation

That wipes out the world leading to creation

Of the world that we know- storms therefore

Are for apocalyptic events metaphors

The imagery of a dark stormy night

Is perfect for creating suspense and fright..

*

However the opening line “It was a dark and stormy night” has come to be

An archetype for poor writing, apparently

A cliche that complete lack of imagination suggests

And fails to generate on its own interest..

*

With climate change and the increasing occurrence

Of floods, tornadoes, extreme weather events

More stories in the future might include

Storms as backdrops for life’s vicissitudes..

*

Dark stormy nights, thunder and lightning, torrential rains

Powerful settings for stories and plays shall remain

To strike fear and suspense in the reader’s mind

Stormy weather would always a prominent place find

Stories of so many people I have told

In my lifetime, so many lives I have let unfold

Through my words, my writing has earned acclaim

As a biographer I have in my lifetime made quite a name..

In the waning years of my life, as I reflect

Over my rewarding career, I have come to regret

That the most important story I had to tell

Remains untold, in the recesses of my heart it does dwell..

*

I had a flair for writing and a curious interest

In the lives of others, I harnessed both best

By writing biographies, bringing alive

In my words some extraordinary lives

When I interviewed people I had the uncanny ability

To bring out their innate personality

I would write profusely as they bared it all

While I retreated to the background, like the fly on the wall

I was able to include about famous people details less well known

In a humanistic light all my subjects I had shown

My authentic style of writing biographies unnoticed did not stay

More work, accolades and awards came my way

*

I wrote about others, taking deep dives

In to what appeared to be infinitely more interesting lives

My own torments I was able to ignore

When I was writing biographies, but I cannot anymore

I have skeletons in my closet that weigh on my chest

To get rid of them before I got crushed would be best

The story that longs to emerge from my pen

Is my autobiography, and I don’t know when

I would be able to pour on paper my heart

I just know I’ve to write it, or else it would tear me apart

I stop in my tracks as the patient says

“Thank you for listening”- this phrase

Triggers a flood of mixed emotions

Until that point I had been going through the motions

Trying to extract relevant history as fast as I could

Trying to come up with a plan as I stood

Before the patient- fortunately I was able to reply

To most of his queries, I was able to satisfy

His concerns regarding his treatment

In an abbreviated manner, at least in that moment

When he thanks me, I feel partly relieved

And partly embarrassed, my impatience has not been perceived

To the extent that I was afraid it would be

I was rushing through the interaction definitely

I felt I was in a time crunch, and I needed to get

To the next patient’s room, my focus reset

*

If time was not a factor, and if patients understood

What I was explaining to them without repetition, I would

Listen patiently to the patient and the family’s concerns

Address them one by one, keep open the lines of communication

But the pressure to keep moving from patient to patient is such

That with each patient it is difficult to spend time much..

*

I have since analyzed that comment and tried

To understand what I had done to leave the patient satisfied

So that the same demeanor I can replicate

Even when I have a lot on my plate

One of the things that is profound in its simplicity

Is to not be distracted by external stimuli and to see

The patient in the eye as I engage in conversation

That alone gives the patient’s concerns validation..

*

Time is finite and a precious commodity

But at the end of the day I should be

Able to listen without appearing impatient

That is the least I owe all my patients

In a world where attention spans continue to shrink

We are increasingly watching short videos that end in a blink

You can scroll through multiple videos in a short duration

Barely registering the message while trying to focus on the animation

When you are bored and have nothing to do

Multiple social media videos you go through

In an effort to keep yourself entertained

Sometimes it’s pure fun, sometimes there’s inspiration to be gained

*

It should come as no surprise that research has found

Watching online videos increases boredom, not the other way around

The more your attention span shifts from one video to the next

The more your mind has to keep switching context

You enjoy nothing, and learn little that is new

End up staying uninspired and bored too

*

Watch a longer video, find something immersivec

To which undivided attention you can give

You would not be bored, you would not once feel

That you are missing out on an instagram reel

When I gaze at your old pictures I have a strong urge

To go back in time, savor moments with you at that age, and emerge

More satisfied in my role as a mother, because I fear

I did not spend enough time with you, my dear

There are a thousand ways in which my intellect can justify

Why I could not devote all my time to you, but those would not satisfy

The gnawing feeling that I was not present

For all your milestones, recitals, school events

Now you are growing up too fast for me

And I’m still embroiled in the same quandary

Between work commitments and being more involved

In your life, as your needs continue to evolve

*

I get wistful looking at pictures old

And remind myself to enjoy your personality unfold

Every day, as you grow older and less inclined

To spend time with me, I want to help you find

Your footing in this world as you approach

Adulthood, without trying to encroach

On your individual hopes and desires

May you achieve everything to which you aspire..

*

Someday I shall be looking at old photographs of you as a young lad

I would feel immensely proud and glad

That your full potential you did realize

You grew up with strong roots and stars in your eyes..

*

Let me take myself off this train of thought

The future is unknown, and I cannot

Turn back time, let me make a greater effort

To be present for you today, and take comfort

In the fact that several years of nurture still lie ahead

Let me not dwell on lost time and make the most of what I still have instead