Passion…unbridled

In the modern style of working, we have meetings endlessly

To tackle problems that keep coming up unexpectedly

But despite clever solutions I have noticed

That the problems themselves continue to persist..

*

Many people tackle problems in order to earn

Their livelihoods, therefore the truth I have learnt

Is that not many are interested in doing things that could

Solve problems at their roots, because that would

Have a direct impact on their ability to thrive

Therefore solutions are found but the problems stay alive

*

Most innovation is aimed at solving problems fast

The problems themselves are expected to last

That problems could be eradicated, fewer leaders seem to realize

In that direction they do not apply their skills specialized

*

In an ideal world, we would solve problems in such a way

That they get uprooted and from over lives go away..

Repeatedly I tend to fall in the trap

Of thinking I can do it all, I can tap

Into an inexhaustible source of energy

I think I have an indefatigable spirit within me..

*

So I overextend myself without thinking through

The ramifications-soon I am struggling to do

Justice to everything I’ve spread on my plate

Leading to a perpetually haggard state..

*

I am slowly coming to terms with the harsh reality

That a superwoman I am not cut out to be

There are limits to what I can do in a day

I need to prioritize and then chip away

At my tasks, one by one so l do not decompensate

Before completing even half of what’s on my plate..

If only I could stem the flow

Of time, if only I did know

How to have a longer rendezvous

With time, not let its sands pass through

My hands- if only I could capture in my fist

A few moments- if I could make a tryst

With time- to spend it in ways that would nourish my soul

If only I could catch some time to make my broken self whole..

*

But time waits for no one, it does not wait

For me to get over the inertia of my current state

A million different things I plan to do

When I have time, but I never follow through

Time just pours out of my hands

Like the minute grains of sand

And I am left thirsting some more

For time, just like I did before

*

Let me seize the moment before I lose

These precious minutes, let me choose

To do something to provide nourishment

To my famished soul-in this moment transient

I was running on empty, there was no well of will-power left to tap

Ignoring the protests of my mind, I retreated to my bed for a nap..

*

I was caught in a complex web that had drained

Every ounce of my energy, I was finding it hard to remain

Focused on any task, or in a composed emotional state

I could not hold myself together, I was about to disintegrate

The threat of my unraveling was real and close

It could have snowballed into a disaster but I chose

To leave the world behind and go off to sleep

I chose to disregard the promises I was meant to keep..

*

Into a deep, dreamless sleep I probably fell

I woke up disoriented, for a few minutes could not tell

Where I was and the time of the day

But I felt transformed in a profound way

Only two hours had elapsed, but to me

It felt like waking up in a new century

*

The problems had not been resolved, of course

But now that I was no longer trying to force

A tired horse to sprint, I was able

To tackle them in a manner comfortable

The emotional angst I had felt earlier had melted away

I could focus without frustration coming in my way

*

The lesson I’ve learnt is that before I snap

I should gift myself a life-changing nap…

The idea of coming home to family has such a universal appeal

The notion of going home for the holidays gives you a nostalgic feel

You book your travel with eager anticipation

You pledge for the festivities your participation

You wrap up work during the early part of the week

Some quality time with your precious large family you seek

You pack carefully, you are all set to catch a flight

And that is when things begin to not go right..

*

The weather gods have decided to ruin your plans

With heavy rain and snow, you don’t know if you can

Reach home in time- after harrowing delays

You reach in the nick of time to celebrate the holiday

Exhausted as you are, there is no time to lose

You had offered to help, not doing so is something you cannot choose..

*

The atmosphere in your family is not

As harmonious or joyful as you would have thought

You can smell a distinct undercurrent

Of discord and simmering resentment

You hope once everyone works up an appetite

The prevailing dark mood would turn a shade more light

But that does not happen, in fact there is a frosty silence

As guests take their place at the table and commence

To eat- you are bewildered and out of desperation

You venture to tell a joke to salvage the situation

But someone’s spouse is quick to take offense

And from there begins a battle of emotions intense…

*

By the end of the meal all anger is spent

You are depleted, your only intent

Is to avoid any confrontation for the next day or so

After which all guests would be ready to go

Back to their lives, regretting the trip home for the holidays

That has brought nothing but misery in multiple ways..

*

You resolve not to travel for the holidays next year

Another round of inclement weather, flight delays and family drama you fear…

Much as I love to travel, I must confess

A trait crucial to travel I do not possess

And that is patience when there is disruption

To the planned itinerary- I still travel under the assumption

That flights would to their schedules adhere

And a delay in reaching my destination I would not fear

But that is hardly ever the case these days

Flights are disrupted in hundreds of ways

Unpredictable weather, political conflicts, cost-cutting by airlines

Any of these factors can operate individually or intertwine

With one another to cause massive delays

To deal with them, being patient is the only way

*

I was amused when an article on Thanksgiving travel I read

“Bring a healthy dose of patience and humor” it said

If one were to fly during the busiest season

This advice would definitely stand to reason

When there is a possibility of arriving significantly late

(After the turkey has been carved and there is little left on the plate)

The humor in this situation one has to be able to appreciate

In overcrowded airports as one us forced to wait..

*

Each time I fly, it seems to be a personal test

For my patience, to cultivate which more energy I should invest

And if I could learn to laugh at ridiculous flight delays

My futile outrage would dissipate away

In the waning years of my life, to what would I aspire?

Would I retain my enthusiasm for work or would I wish to retire?

*

Most of my life has been spent on the hamster wheel

I’m in a monogamous relationship with work, I feel

It’s not just about making a living, but work gives me

The most definitive form of identity

So though I think I would like to work less

Retiring completely seems a daunting proposition, I confess..

*

When I think of retirement I visualize

Myself being productive in myriad ways, but then I realize

My interests I have not cultivated enough

Without work, having an interesting life would be tough..

I hate to admit, but the only interesting thing about me

Is the career that shapes my identity

*

Then I wonder, my sharpness would I retain

In my older years, or would cognitive decline gain

A foothold on me such that the demands of my profession

I would be unable to fulfill despite my best intention..

In other words, would I be forced to retire

Unceremoniously, or worse, would I be fired?

*

The idea of being financially free

Such that you are able to retire early

And then work on terms that are your own-

This concept lately has popular grown

But it is a hard one for me to wrap my head around

Therefore unless I have an epiphany profound

I shall continue to work at a steady pace

Until retirement is a certainty I have to face

She had been hearing stories about her ancestors throughout

Her childhood spent in a bustling household, they were all about

The men in the family- their accomplishments, decisions, rigid attitudes

That were modeled for the children as positive attributes

Each time the stories came up, she had but one question in mind-

What forgotten stories of the women of her family could she find..

She saw her mother and aunts pulling barely visible strings

That ended up changing the course of things

Surely women in previous generations had exerted influence similarly

But in all the stories that were told, no evidence of their involvement she could see..

*

Many years later, she was given the responsibility to supervise

Disposal of all contents of the house, and to her surprise

She found a crumbling, moth-eaten khadi-covered diary

With entries dating from the first half of the twentieth century

The writing was mostly in Hindi with English words interspersed

The writer appeared well-educated and well-versed

In the politics of the time, and had opinions strong

She was spellbound as she continued to read along

Soon she realized the diary was written

By a freedom fighter who was a young woman

Her entries were insightful regarding India’s struggle for independence

Also apparent was her longing for personal freedom intense..

*

How was such an accomplished woman in her family

Never given a place in the family history,

As she pondered this question, she was simultaneously

Disappointed and overjoyed by her discovery

Now it was her responsibility to ensure

Her ancestor was not forgotten like they were before..

Draping a saree, donning a bindi and jewelry traditional

Then admiring myself in the mirror is a luxury occasional

While dressing up is always fun, this transformation

Quenches my soul-this is a celebration

Of my heritage, my roots, the vibrant culture of my homeland

A reminder of the rich textiles, of intricate craftsmanship grand

When I deck myself up in Indian finery like a queen

Before my mirror, I cannot help but preen..

*

I usually dabble in quick recipes that do not take

Hours and hours of preparation to make

But when the festivities start, I go the long route to prepare

In a traditional manner, traditional Indian fare

The aroma of spices from my homeland serves

To feed my soul, to put salve on my nostalgic nerves..

*

All gatherings are meant to have fun, but the communal celebration

Of our traditional festivals serves as a means of rejuvenation

For my mind that pines for celebrations of the past

This is an opportunity to make new memories that would last..

*

By connecting with my culture I heed

My Indian soul’s overwhelming need

The glass of happiness is filled up to exactly half of the volume

That it can hold, and the half that is empty seems to consume

Your thoughts, you wish you could fill it up some more

You wish more happiness into the glass you could pour..

Instead, the level starts receding as you continue

To observe it closely, happiness seems to

Evaporate as time goes by, its level goes low

You obsess over it, but your happiness you cannot grow

*

The glass of happiness is half-full again

You feel grateful because happiness and pain

Are equally balanced, you do not check it obsessively

But the level has increased the next time you see

The glass is now more full because with showers of happiness

You realize that you have been blessed

*

The glass was exactly half-full at the start

But the two attitudes were poles apart

And that determined your ultimate destiny

Whether you became less or more happy

Every person above a certain age

Tends to wax eloquent about the “good old days”

As a younger person you take it with skepticism

Life in the old days, when examined through your prism

Appears to you rather primitive

Without modern tools, how did they live?

You are baffled as picture of a utopian world they paint

While the present for them is full of complaints..

*

Fast forward a few decades, and you realize

That you’ve started talking about bygone days with moist eyes

You now see your past with a rose-tinted (presbyopic) lens

A melancholic nostalgia you experience

You too yearn for the good old days

Life used to be better in many ways..

*

Nostalgia is a strange emotion, your memories it paints

In shades so bright that your present appears faint

The good old days appear exceptionally great

You feel dissatisfied with your current state..

*

The next time your adolescents give you an eye roll

When the virtues of life decades ago you extol

Know that one day they would take your place

And the same skepticism from their children they would face

In this fast-paced competitive life, most of us desire

To spend our time productively, we aspire

To use our recreational time in such a way

That we expand our knowledge and skills every day

In keeping with this sentiment, reading fiction is thought

By some to be a waste of precious time- I say with conviction that it is not

*

When you read a story, you conjure up the scenes described

In the pages you are reading, you are drawn inside

The world of the characters about whom you read

You leave the real world behind and live with the characters indeed

This has been proven to build empathy and expand

Your sense of inclusivity as you explore stories from other lands

Reading fiction gives a boost to your creativity too

The more you read, the less cognitive decline you face

You may add some years to your life if reading fiction you embrace..

*

So if you have ever felt guilty for escaping into the fictional domain

Know that there are intangible benefits to the health of your brain

If in a compelling yarn you find delight

Know that you are doing something right-

A better person you may become

And to your life, add years some