Passion…unbridled

Whenever swayed by emotion myself I find

Let common sense and logic rescue my mind..

*

It is hard to separate truth from lies

Parse reality from accounts fictionalized

Not give in to rhetoric that is crafted carefully

To stoke your feelings of insecurity

It is easy to believe what fits well

Into your own worldview, not having to dwell

On the unsettling truth that someone else might be right

You do not want to accept you’re wrong without putting up a fight

*

Giving in to your emotions makes you ignore

The logical part of your brain for sure

Rational thinking takes a backseat

When you react in the moment’s heat

*

Once you set your emotions aside, you begin to see

Problems and issues more logically

That is the point I hope I reach fast

I hope the effect of emotions on my mind does not last

What would happen if I were to say

I could not do this anymore, and walk away

From the career I had spent so long to build

Deviate from the values that had in me been drilled

That told me to never give up in the face of adversity

To fight with conviction until there was no fight left in me..

*

What would happen if I were to swallow my pride

And admit that my impending burnout had made me decide

To leave the career in which I had invested

My time, sweat and tears, from which I had expected

Some reward in the form of self-fulfillment

For it to consume me was never the intent..

*

What would happen if one day I were to declare

That enough was enough, I could not sacrifice self-care

At the altar of work day after day, without an end in sight

That I was tired of the never-ending fight

Between work and a reasonable life outside

I was exhausted from trying to bridge the divide

*

None of these fantasies is likely to come true

Walking away from my career would be an impossible thing to do

Because I am not yet at the point of no return

There is much I need to experience and learn

(relating to or denoting any disease or condition which arises spontaneously or for which the cause is unknown- from Oxford Dictionary)

The term that as a physician most disconcerting I find

Is “idiopathic”- to confess that something is unexplained, in my mind

Seems like a poor excuse, science has advanced a lot

In understanding mechanisms behind diseases, it does not

Feel appropriate to give a pseudoscientific euphemism to me

To something that is understood incompletely

*

I am heartened to state that in my field of specialization

We now have actual diagnoses for several “idiopathic” conditions

There is nothing that I love more than replacing the term

With a more accurate description, it does affirm

My faith in the spirit of scientific inquiry that does not take

Unknown for an explanation, that is a philosophy archaic

I drop the word “idiopathic” where the mechanism is truly unclear

With plans to add the right term as an explanation appears

*

The word idiopathic was probably coined to appeal

To the egos of scientists and physicians who were reluctant to reveal

Their ignorance- to phrase it in a scientific sounding way

Was the best they could probably come up with, back in the day

But the true spirit of science lies in being able to acknowledge

The extent and limitations of current knowledge

While striving to find answers to the human body’s mysteries

In that spirit, the term idiopathic from my medical vocabulary I release

(Hurricane Helene decimated the mountain region of Western North Carolina, an area of unparalleled natural beauty and generally considered a safe haven in the face of climate change.. Over the last several years, I have had the privilege of traveling to this region multiple times including as recently as July 2024, and I mourn their losses)

The mountains stood proud for 450 million years

Saw forests, wildlife, human beings appear

Saw the development of culture and lore

The mountains, nestled comfortably far from the shore

The lush green forests, the bluish mountain haze

Waterfalls and trails that did not fail to amaze

The mountains that were a source of pride

For the inhabitants, as great places to reside..

*

The local folks were gearing up to welcome

The usual influx of tourists in the leaf-peeping season

Who knew an impending catastrophe was in store

Unlike any disaster ever witnessed before..

Hurricane winds and flooding unprecedented

What kind of revenge had nature intended

For these areas that were decimated

Leaving entire communities devastated

Irrevocable damage to infrastructure, lives lost

The mountain region incurred a huge cost

*

To the unthinkable devastation the mountains bear witness

Lending resilience to their communities in distress

As the arduous process of rebuilding starts

To the people of Western North Carolina goes my heart..

Wear a sensor, monitor your activity

Your heart rate you can continuously see

Your heart rhythm it can record if you feel

Your heart is fluttering, your activity level it can reveal

Whether your sleep is restorative or not it can tell you

Armed with this avalanche of information all you have to do

Is use this information to make changes to your lifestyle

And see positive results on your health after a while

To your doctor, this information you can present

After all, you’ve done your homework like a good student..

*

It sounds like a great tool to help people take control

Of their health, play a much more active role

In making necessary changes to improve their well-being

Deriving feedback from the data that they are seeing..

*

I have a confession to make here- I do not

Believe in wearing these devices myself- the thought

Of a machine recording every step that I take

And noting my vital signs with every move I make

Is scary for me- I would rather not know

Whether my heart rate is too fast or too slow

Despite being a physician I tend to catastrophize

When any number related to my body outside the normal values lies

Most people feel more equipped to fight their illness

When they have numeric data, but I just get more stressed..

*

If my condition required objective data collection

I would prefer those to be reviewed by my physician

Get a summary of the results and a plan of action

Instead of obsessing over numbers to the point of distraction

If climate change was a theoretical concept for me until now

It is no longer so, a devastating hurricane has demonstrated how

Absolutely no one is safe from the fury unleashed

By our warming planet, all its grievances released

In a mighty display of strength to bend us in humility

We must bow down before nature, despite our ingenuity

*

Natural disasters have been a fact of life through

Centuries and millennia but it is true

That their severity and frequency these days

Is unprecedented and alarming in many ways

I feel pessimistic about what is in store

For our future generations- who have much more

To lose than we did from the effects of change in climate

I still hold out hope that we can stem the damage before it’s too late

Rumors have always been similar to wildfires in their speed of spread

But in this day and age any misinformation can be fed

At lightning speed using social media, go viral at once

Before most people can fully process the information, the damage is done

Misinformation tends to expand as it is disseminated

More people start believing it and getting aggravated

The new lie is linked to old facts and myths by some

Before you know it, the rumor has a matter of grave concern become

All efforts to debunk the lie later do not assuage

Its negative effects on people who are already outraged

*

If you want to post something that controversial could be

Fact-check it beforehand, for accuracy

You don’t want to send a fib out in the world, however benign

You never know what form it might take online…

At this point, I think I have completely unraveled

In the past few weeks, my mind has traveled

Into places that are abysmally dark

I keep hoping against hope for a spark

To bring back a semblance of normalcy

But the normal state of things keeps eluding me..

*

I’m growing increasingly frustrated, I fear

My patience has completely worn out, it appears

Into a hibernating mode I want to go

But there is no way for me to take things slow

*

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade

But eventually those lemons start raining on your parade

You’ve got to look for motivation when there is none

No matter the circumstances, things need to get done

*

In writing this verse I have crystallized

My frustrations, now I can rise

Above my woes, and get stuff done

The healing power of writing has won

I think I used to look over my shoulder more than needed

All the advice I was given about being cautious I’d heeded

I’d been slow to trust people, afraid of being cheated

But the resounding message I’ve seen repeated

Is that most people are inherently nice and do not

Have any ulterior motive, contrary to what I had thought

*

It is so easy to become cynical

At the state of the world, but it is critical

To reexamine your attitude periodically

People around you, in a different light see

It is easy to assume the system is rigged against you

But it is an assumption fallacious, and dangerous too

Sometimes things do not work out for reasons varied

Do not try to blame someone, do not try to read

More into every unfortunate situation than necessary

Just move on, do not spend time in concerns imaginary

*

My cynicism I am trying to revise

As I grow older, and hopefully more wise

( yesterday was mental health day, therefore this poem)

Take care of your mental health, everyone tells you

No one else can do it, you know that’s true

Preserve your stamina, your sanity, sleep well at night

Be grateful for everything in life that is right

You have so many blessings in life, all you have to do

Is eat healthy, get sleep and exercise regularly too..

*

All of the above does constitute good advice

But you feel like being unable to adhere to it is a vice

It makes you feel worse, as you erroneously conclude

That you are the only one with lack of fortitude

To lift yourself up from the trenches of mental health issues

You wonder what it would be like to be in their shoes

*

Mental health does not in a vacuum reside

To have to figure out everything alone should not be a matter of pride

Make genuine connections with people and see

Your mental health parameters improve significantly

*

We are all a little broken, and we need

Each other to fill up our cracks indeed…

I had always thought that it was important to identify

A problem as soon as it presented itself and then try

To find a workable solution so that I could move past the issue

I thought that was the most efficient thing to do

I did not always find solutions, and sometimes spent

Valuable time fretting over a problem but my intent

Remained the same-a solution needed to be found

If possible, otherwise I would find a workaround

*

Naively I assumed most people wanted to solve problems just like me

Many jobs involve troubleshooting if you closely see

Solving technical problems is easy but issues that involve

People and their emotions are much more difficult to solve

Gradually I started noticing what I had missed before

Many people in powerful positions did not solve problems anymore..

*

Leaders in political roles keep problems alive

To use as baits for voters, to allow their political careers to thrive

Corporate leadership often does not solve issues faced

By the employees- to keep them in their subordinate place

Power struggles within families play out in such a way

That problems are perpetuated, solutions never see the light of the day..

*

To keep a problem festering without finding a solution

Is a clever way to exert power in a situation

This power dynamic ensures issues are never resolved

And society is full of solvable problems unsolved

I feel unmoored and discombobulated

An unexpected disaster has indeed created

A state of fearfulness, restlessness and uncertainty

From which I cannot simply break free

Where can I go, when those around me

Are suffering too, perhaps more than I can see

*

A semblance of normalcy seems to have been found

Yet I feel a sense of disorientation all around

I wonder if this is post-traumatic stress

Right now words fail to adequately express

My state of mind- besides, there is another hurricane on the way

For all those in its path potentially, I pray..

*

Post-traumatic growth often tends to follow

Post-traumatic stress, I hope it is so!