Passion…unbridled

You try to take decisions in a manner objective

You try to weigh a situation from different perspectives

You step away and examine a problem holistically

So that you don’t miss the forest for the trees

You do not want to be swayed by emotion

You want to decide with eyes wide open

*

Then there are times you close your eyes

When going with your gut feeling seems wise

When your heart is at odds with your head

You silence the voice of practicality, instead

You go ahead guided by your intuition

You hope you can bring your dreams to fruition

*

Some decisions need reason’s impartial voice

For others, your instincts should let you make a choice

For a decision that impacts others my mind I use

For personal decisions, my heart over my mind I choose…

No matter what you decide, you wonder about

The road not taken, you sometimes doubt

Whether the best decision was taken by you…

Whatever you decided, you would have to follow through

We all grew up being taught

Basic etiquette in school

To treat others with kindness

Was supposedly a fundamental rule

Most of us more or less stick to those norms

When with other people we’re face to face

But when involved in online discussions

We fail to extend to others such grace..

*

When people turn to social media forums for advice

With mockery and scathing criticism they are met

Behind a veil of anonymity people feel emboldened

To tear down others on the internet..

*

It is time we all learnt a new set

Of rules of engagement for the internet

Think before we type vicious comments

Practice in the online world real-life etiquette

This poem was inspired by an Indian movie I watched titled “Kho gaye hum kahan” (Where are we lost) that explores the story of 3 youngsters trying to find meaning in the digital age and eventually discovering that life is meant to be lived in person and not online.

(I think this blurry image captured from a moving car is apt for this poem)

You do not realize how far you have drifted

From who you were, how your priorities have shifted

Though your goals and dreams are the sane as they used to be

You’ve let yourself be pulled in different directions unknowingly

You are bedazzled by the highlights that you see

Of others’ lives, you compare them incessantly

With your behind-the-scenes life that a big mess appears

You are flailing while everyone is succeeding, you fear

*

Do you realize that less than two decades ago

There was no way for you to know

The business of most people around you unless

You interacted with them or they had achieved considerable success

But now every person behind an instagram reel

Appears successful, and makes you feel

You are not enough, that you need to be

Doing something that the world can see

And applaud you even if the story is fake

Think of the toll on your emotional state this can take..

*

Step away from the phantasmagoric universe

Of social media, do not make yourself feel worse

Remove the unreal comparisons and find

A way back to your sane, less conflicted mind

You’ve lost yourself in a world that is beyond your comprehension

Discover yourself in the real world, leave your device and pay attention

I had somehow assumed artists were their own special breed

To be an artist, a completely different set of qualities one would need

I was convinced my world could never intersect

With that of artists, my personality lacked an artistic aspect

I thought my manner of thinking was completely objective

I did not dabble in ideas creative or subjective

*

Not long ago, I stumbled upon, by serendipity

My own ignored creative ability

I could develop it further, I realized

It actually came as a pleasant surprise

*

Giving artistic expression to the chaotic thoughts in my mind

Has led me on the path of self-realization, I find

I can process complex emotions through art

I can better align my mind and my heart

*

While I do not have the audacity to call

Myself an artist, I can be artistic on a scale small

Each time I flex my muscles creative

Much needed nourishment to my soul I give..

I don’t know if this is posttraumatic stress

But a recurring nightmare, I confess

Is one I have related to school examinations

I wonder if so traumatic was my education

As a child that for life I’ve been scarred

Overcoming the dread of a test is hard

*

In nightmares I reach the test center late

Or during the test I procrastinate

I am unable to complete the test timely..

And then I wake up, my heart pounding wildly

*

To be clear, periodically I still have to appear

For tests in my field, so far my fears

Have never materialized, I always complete the test

In terms of punctuality, I am at my best

*

Yet this is the most common theme of my nightmares

(Thankfully bad dreams are quite rare)

I’d like to know I am not the only one

Traumatized by this necessary part of education…

I am ready to start work as soon as I get there

Most days I have no time to spare

I get galvanized in a flurry of activity

Seeing patients in a clinical practice busy..

*

Today is not one of those days, it appears

On this cold winter morning my schedule is clear

I have no pending tasks to complete right now

I should be relaxed, but I am annoyed somehow

I know that my schedule shall fill up shortly

And that I should enjoy this respite from being busy

But it seems I am wasting precious time that could be

Utilized better if I had known I would be free

*

Alone with my thoughts, philosophical I turn

From my inability to enjoy free time, what can I learn?

*

Why does time that is unstructured feel uncomfortable?

Why do I think that I should be able

To do something productive constantly

Why can I not be at peace when I am free?

*

“I do, therefore I am” is the mantra to which I have subscribed

Perhaps it is time to question this belief that I have imbibed

I keep myself occupied constantly, therefore

Being alone with my thoughts is not something I do any more..

*

I do not get more time to ponder anyway

Because my schedule has now been filled for the day

It is ten o’ clock and I take a pause

To acknowledge my gratitude because

Today has begun with a morning perfect

In a chaotic world, this gift I should graciously accept

My productivity is a few notches higher

A good start to the day continues to inspire

Me to work smarter, make good decisions

Motivates me to tackle tasks with greater precision

*

What made this morning special was my patients

Who had improved on and were satisfied with treatment

The best form of positive reinforcement for me

Is to witness my patients make a near-complete recovery

Not everyone I see in the course of a day

Is at the same point or on the same pathway

Therefore, when several patients in a row are doing well

It makes my heart with gratitude swell

*

Riding high on endorphins released early today

To see my next patient, I sprint away

Recommendations for a life-changing book I see

As an avid reader, I start pondering over the question instantly

Is there a book that actually changed how I view

The world, is this something that a book alone can do?

*

The more I thought about this question, the further back in time I went

To an age at which I was impressionable to a greater extent

I thought about all the books that left a mark indelible

On my mind, to see if there was a common theme identifiable

*

Of course some outstanding books I recalled

But the thread that was common to them all

Was that at pivotal points in my life’s journey

Those books had provided guidance to me

When I was struggling with illness, strength I had found

In reading a memoir by an author with an illness profound

When I was conflicted in taking a career decision

An excellent book had helped me make a choice with precision

A beautifully crafted book stood out in my memory

Because the setting in which I had read it had a memorable story

When I was learning to grapple with death as a new physician

A powerful treatise by a doctor was an invaluable companion..

*

Regrettably I have not read anything that has left an impact

In recent years, though I read much more these days, in fact

I am not as impressionable as I used to be

When I was younger, with more cynicism the world I now see

I would love to find a book that has the potential

To change my life, to answer some questions existential

Until then I shall continue to read for the usual reasons

Stress relief, entertainment and education

(Based on NPR report on lack of access to menstrual products and restrooms in Gaza)

She is used to seeing reporters around these days

Asking hopeless residents about the different ways

Their lives are in this brutal war affected

Whether they are getting aid as expected-

Many people just mumble replies incoherent

But to talk about a specific ordeal is her intent

So when she is questioned, she mentions the “issue”

Talking about a subject that is still a taboo

Is embarrassing, but women are in dire straits

To deal with menstrual periods with supplies inadequate

Is a nightmare- feminine hygiene products do not rank high

On the list of essentials that aid trucks supply..

*

There are crises being dealt with in a war zone

But this is one that affects women alone-

Menstrual cycles add another layer

To their problems that they cannot easily share

With the men around them, they are desperate

Trying to find hormonal pills to alleviate

Their suffering by halting menstruation

Trying to find a way out of humiliation..

*

In this humanitarian crisis most decisions

Are being made by men in powerful positions

Tragically, to this day, oblivious they remain

To the other gender’s suffering and pain..

All the books, printed articles and e-mails

I can barely read, yet I repeatedly fail

To get rid of them, they occupy precious space

To make matters worse, embarrassment I face

When I see them piling on my desk hoping to be read one day

But that hypothetical day never comes my way..

*

My sartorial interests are quite varied

I seem to hoard clothing items indeed

Yet I wear clothes from a selection small

At times I cannot find some items at all…

*

All the hobbies that I have dabbled in

Have required me to buy new things

That languish in a corner as I either no longer care

For that particular hobby, or have no time to spare

*

My life is cluttered and stressful indeed

I have stuff that I absolutely don’t need…

*

When clutter tends to accumulate

It takes up physical space but affects our mental state

All the excess borne out of acceptable greed

All the stuff we amass beyond our needs

Remains in the universe to create chaos

We celebrate our possessions but disregard the loss

Of mental peace that clutter leads to

Confusion and decision paralysis ensue

Precious time is lost in trying to organize

Ever increasing possessions before we realize

We have many times more than enough

And we are now being owned by our stuff..

*

At the snap of my fingers I cannot declutter

But I can ensure further accumulation does not occur

It is a small start, but a start anyway

I hope my life shall be free of clutter one day..

When the Western way of individualism disenchantment creates

To practices from other cultures do people gravitate

Thus “Yoga”, “Ikigai, “Hyggae” now dominate

The collective consciousness of our society, to alleviate

Modern-day ailments of different kinds

That increasingly plague the body and the mind

*

It is interesting that many ancient cultural practices have been ruled

As regressive and unscientific, summarily rejected and ridiculed

Yet when the modern Western way of living has failed to provide

Adequate support for its followers, they have begun to explore outside

Their culture which is considered hegemonic

Into other cultures, in a move ironic

*

The standard Western approach to life may be good for an individual but

Other older cultures are not irrelevant, and must

Not be treated as such, must not be forgotten

Their traditions and customs must not be overruled or overwritten

For centuries, colonization had systematically tried to suppress

Indigenous cultures, curbed their freedom to express

But in a new world order, we should realize that in order to thrive

Diverse cultures and their practices need to survive

Each culture has valuable lessons for life that can be

Imbibed to improve how we live as a society

I learnt this astute life hack

To fill my life with what I lack

Which is sleep of adequate quality

I toss and turn in bed endlessly..

*

The acronym is oxymoronically named “TENSE”

It makes you go through each sense

To determine the best memory of your day

You go down the list this way-

T (tongue) represents the best thing you tasted all day

E (eye) reminds you of the best vista on display

N (nose) is the best aroma you took pleasure in

S (skin) reminds of what felt best on your skin

E (ears) reminds you of the best sound you did hear

The day that went by wonderful does appear

When you go down the list of what you liked best

With your mind filled with positive vibes, you can finally rest..

*

The best thing I tasted today was Indian tea

A beautiful sunset I saw unfolding before me

The smell of my lavender soap stood out

The hot shower touching my skin felt good without doubt

On public radio I heard an uplifting story

I am smiling inwardly at each memory..

*

As promised, sleep is knocking on my mind’s door

Earlier than it would have done before..

*This life hack for better sleep is described in a book by Paul Callaghan named “The Dreaming Path-Indigenous Ideas to Help us Change the World”