Passion…unbridled

If you deal with anxiety excessive

It affects how your life you live

You often feel embarrassed to admit

Your anxiety, you’re afraid you do not fit

In with people around you that you perceive

As appearing carefree, you wish you could achieve

The same level of equanimity that they display

In situations that make you anxious every day..

*

While you need to manage your anxiety, take some comfort

In the fact that your anxiety and hyper vigilance can avert

Major accidents- being cautious is better than its counterpart

True you get anxious, but your anxiety may impart

You with an ability to notice when others are in distress

The fear and insecurity they face, you can address

And no matter how distressed you yourself are

Being empathetic and helping someone is by far

The best remedy to improve your emotional state

Your anxiety this should be able to mitigate..

*

Your anxiety a character flaw does not reflect

It is of your multifaceted life, but one aspect

Let guilt not be added to your anxious state

As your anxiety you try to alleviate

(Happy New Year 2024!)

I’d like to give myself a pat on the back

For having done something well, but I lack

The ability to encourage myself in this way

“It was nothing special, what you did today”

I end up admonishing myself for feeling proud

And this rebuke my psyche hears, clear and loud..

I remind myself I am far from perfect at the moment

To become “better” in the future is my intent

So that I have something of which I can be

Genuinely proud, something that the whole world can see

*

I have noticed that no matter what I achieve

My inner critic continues to make me believe

That the person I am now is not good enough

To hear its constant rebukes is tough

*

Since this is a new year, it is time for a resolution new

The following is what I am planning to do-

I resolve to meet myself where I am and not where I want to be

Since I reside in the present, not in the future I want to see

I promise to treat myself with the kindness I deserve

All the negative self-talk has never any purpose served

So let me change the way in which myself I address

Extending grace to myself might lead me to happiness..

The end of a year and the beginning of a new one

Is a good time for contemplation

What direction do I want my life to take

What unfortunate habits do I want to break

I reminisce about the year gone by

The best and the worst I try to identify

When I look at things at the end of the year

Everything a little brighter does appear

The good times were good, the bad not so bad

Throughout the year, many opportunities I had had

To improve my behavior, my skills, my attitude

Therefore I end this year with profound gratitude

I submit myself to a higher power and pray

That the next year lets me grow further in every way

They tell you to jot every idea down when it surfaces in your mind

But when I try to put an idea to paper I find

Into something amorphous it has transformed

To a tangible, coherent shape it does not conform

The idea that appeared so inspiring in my head

Has fizzled down to wispy fluff instead…

*

I prefer to keep ideas stored at the site

From which they arise, most never see the light

Of the day, because they disappear from my brain

Some stay put, eventually I dwell on then again

And incorporate them in my verse for the day

I put onto paper and lock down ideas this way…

*

To write is to capture ideas and thoughts that may

Otherwise appear briefly and then drift away

The more you write, the more you learn

To lock ideas in your brain in order to churn

Them into words when you are struck by inspiration

The writer is an artist in this process of creation

I had this habit of getting obsessed with projects new

I would aim to be the best at my novel endeavor, all I would do

For a few weeks was to spend every available hour

In pursuit of my passion, driven by a newfound will-power

The candle at both ends I would burn

Everything about my new passion I would try to learn

Invariably in a few weeks the enthusiasm would fade away

And my abandoned project would never again see the light of the day

*

I was frustrated because meaningful progress

I could not make, I could not turn my passion into success

I would start on a very ambitious note

And then struggle to keep the pace and stay afloat

One day I decided to start the opposite way

I began with a simple goal, then I did stay

At the same modest target for a week or so

Before escalating just a bit, my steps were cautious and slow…

Years later, my interest is very much alive

I cultivated my passion slowly, and now I thrive

Doing what I had wanted to do all along

It took me a while to really get going, but I am now going strong!

•

Sprinting is not easy but still doable

But a sprint by definition is not sustainable

To push yourself to do something for a length of time finite

Takes effort and will power, but to sustain that fight

Needs you to go slow but make progress every day

It’s the infinitesimal steps upwards that pave the way

To scale a mountain, or build an empire- as they say

Remember that Rome was not built in a day

There was a time when my expectations were not as high

Even though I wanted to eventually soar higher in the sky

On earth I was grounded and did not require

Expensive things to make me happy, I did not desire

Designer items, luxury vacations or such

I did not really think about much..

My discretionary spending was minimal but i was content

Despite being ambitious, my financial situation I did not resent

*

As the social ladder I climbed higher

Upwards swung my materialistic desires

The explosion of social media made it worse

As I compared myself to everyone else in the universe

I acquired shinier objects to show that I had “arrived”

But I was less content, I felt less alive

*

Now, when my financial worth is the highest it has ever been

Materialistic luxuries are fast losing their sheen

For the fanciest new object I no longer crave

My time and effort now I want to save

To pursue everything else in life that money cannot buy

I am more grounded after having found wings to fly

To believe in the notion of exceptionalism is dangerous

Though many would support the concept in a manner vociferous

To believe in one’s exceptionalism makes one strive

For constant praise and acknowledgement, in order to thrive

It gives an all- pervasive sense of entitlement

Which can sometimes work to one’s detriment..

*

Not just individuals but communities and countries believe

In their exceptionalism, they perceive

Themselves as unquestionable leaders, guiding the rest

Such exuberant optimism can sometimes be put to a test…

*

Humans believe in their exceptional status indeed

The natural world exists just to satisfy our needs

The consequences of this exceptionalism are grave

Climate disasters and new pathogens we have to brave

*

Neither humankind, nor any nation, nor any individual

Should carry the hubris of being exceptional

No one is ordinary, nor is anyone special

Each one should achieve their true potential

If you browse the internet regularly

Scaremongering content I am sure you see

Appearing to cite data pseudoscientific

Such content gets shares and likes prolific

*

In the scientific method well-versed am I

Therefore I try my best to rely

On evidence from studies performed meticulously

If an article has references, I check out the original study

Often I am able to draw conclusions on my own

From a study whose findings have been out of proportion blown

*

Online content appeals to emotions not thoughts

Content meant for scaremongering is fraught

With warnings that sound sinister or ominous

So even when the source appears dubious

Sometimes I end up falling into the trap of fear

Against my better judgment- I let my reasoning disappear

*

The emotional pull of a fearful scenario is such

That reasoning cannot counter it much

Thus unsuspecting people fall prey

To such content, while scaremongers get their way

(Happy Holidays everyone!!)

This is a nod to all the Christmas movies involving family drama- I neither decorate, nor cook multi-course dinners on Christmas or any other holiday..

I am trying my best to celebrate

The holidays with perfection, I’ve had to wait

For this opportunity to make everything right

I want my house to be merry and bright

With curated decorations and gifts purchased thoughtfully

At least my house is partially ready

I wrap each gift creatively and with care

I flex my artistic muscles to prepare

Various knick-knacks and decorations by hand

(I don’t know if anyone would understand

But indulging in these crafts is immensely satisfying

Than using generic decor items that most people are buying)

The holiday dinner that I am planning to host shall include

An abundance of fresh ingredients and made-from-scratch food

*

Everything seems perfect, I eagerly await

The arrival of extended family to celebrate

The instagram-perfect holiday I have in mind-

Everyone arrives….and things start to unwind..

*

There is noise and boisterous laughter everywhere

The decorations are broken, the gifts have not fared

Well- gift wraps have been ripped, toys are strewn over the floor

The artistically laid out dinner is demolished, and what’s more

In the midst of all this there is brewing resentment

Some family members are giving each other silent treatment

While the kids run amok, indulging in rough play

All in all, it’s turning out to be a beast of a day…

I take a deep breath and to a corner retreat

I wonder how only hours before I had been upbeat

*

I get lost in a reverie until someone calls me

Somehow things have quieted down considerably

Everyone has come together, the atmosphere has improved

Stomachs are full, the worst of the clutter has been removed

We start telling stories and anecdotes one by one

And voilà, we’ve captured the perfect spirit of the season!

*

If you think I’m disappointed my effort unnoticed went

I am not- one way or the other, I fulfilled my intent!

A story in my mind slowly unfolds

A gripping story that begs to be told

The characters lined up neatly in my brain

Clamor for my attention, pester me again and again

Their narratives ring in my ears, imploringly

To let them materialize on paper for everyone to see..

*

I have in my head the story outlined

I have the setting and the plot defined

My characters have complex roles assigned

I just need to put in words what I have in mind..

*

When I finally carve some time to write

A powerful writer’s block I have to fight

I write a few sentences, then lose interest

Another day, I decide, I would write the rest

But that day does not come, the story remains

Only in the gyri and sulci of my brain..

Blow your bugle everywhere

On every platform of which you’re aware

Every milestone that you achieve

Amplify manifold to make people believe

That you are smarter than the rest

After all, who’s going to subject you to a test?

*

Embellish everything you have done

Every competition that you have won

Think of anything that you can highlight

That would portray you in a superior light

It’s your responsibility to advocate

For yourself, your résumé you should inflate

*

Just know that at the end of the day

When all profiles are similar, what would come into play

Is your unique personality that would outperform

Your profile on an online platform

Just because I look content it does not mean

That I am satisfied with staying where I’ve been

My desires and aspirations I hide from view

But the assumption that I don’t have them is not true..

*

I firmly believe in showing my actions and not

Simply sharing with everyone my thoughts

My actions should speak louder than words for me

By acting on my dreams, I hope to make a difference eventually

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Like everyone else, in the future I want to be

A better version of myself, but this is my personal journey

I do not necessarily need fame or recognition

But I want to grow on my terms and conditions…