Don’t fight so hard!

I had learnt that people were meant to fight

Fight to survive, fight to thrive, fight for rights

Your body naturally fights an illness

You fight to get better, fight for success

The valiant fight, while cowards surrender readily

Why be a coward in the face of adversity?

*

When I saw patients who had overcome their illness

I applauded them for fighting, cheered for them in the process

I thought that was what I would do if I fell ill

The need to fight was in every fiber of my being drilled

*

So when faced with a diagnosis that would my life alter,

I was ready to fight unwaveringly, I would not falter

In my attempts, I would not the disease take control over me

So I decided to fight it with the right treatment, aggressively

I did not realize when an obsession this fight became

More than the original disease, I had a new affliction to tame

*

One day I realized how it was affecting my sanity

In fighting the disease, I had let it control me

I had no option but to relinquish control somehow

I surrendered to the disease as much as my brain would allow

I did not stop treatment, I must clarify here

But I did stop living in constant fear

Of succumbing to my illness or having a catastrophe

I wrenched back control from my disease gradually…

*

I am managing life with my condition quite well

No longer on fighting my illness I dwell

I have some control, the disease has some

A more balanced person I have become