Productivity and my inner critic

If I could not be productive most days

I would think of myself as a failure in many ways

To get things done, and fast, I have been primed

Throughout my life, so when I do waste time

I feel guilty, because time is what I most lack

After all I search actively for productivity hacks

Sometimes I am too wired to fall asleep, and yet

If I am unproductive, less sleep I get

Because then my conscience continues to nag me

The sin of wasting precious time weighs down on me heavily

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Is it my inner critic that ammunition finds

To berate me and play tricks with my mind

When I fall short of the lofty goals both of us have set

It loves to make me uncomfortable, make me fret..

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I do, therefore I am is the dictum by which I seem to live

I feel vulnerable if I am unproductive

But sometimes on an unstoppable sprint am I

Then I feel invincible, I get an indescribable high

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My highly active self shall age as time goes by

And I shall drop from my productivity high

I hope my inner critic is able to extend me some grace

As I settle into a more relaxed, less productive phase