Passion…unbridled

Writing is rewriting

Of stories lived

Emotions experienced

Making tangible

nebulous thoughts

Stringing together

words and phrases

Scattered in the mind

Into sentences on paper

*

Writing is rewriting

Reviewing, revising

Scratching off lines

Tearing off pages

Deleting documents

Absorbing the first draft

Distilling core elements

Repurposing words

Reframing sentences

Tweaking ideas

Morphing the narrative

*

Writing is rewriting

Each page reflecting

Pages of content

Rough, messy drafts

Chaotic paragraphs

The embers of which

Light up the new fire

Burning bright in coherence

Coalescing, to make sense

Revised, refurbished

The final presentation

Ready, the book written

The first draft forgotten…

It was so easy to say,

“This is not my job” that day

The client needed assistance, it was clear

But her need was outside the sphere

Of my work duties, I would not be looked at unfavorably

For not providing requisite assistance, you see…

**

I prepared to conclude the meeting, expressing regret

I stopped to look at her face, and I shall never forget

The juxtaposition of sadness and self-respect that was revealed

On her countenance, she had solemnly appealed

Before me her case, without being angry or shedding copious tears

Something about her poise unsettled me, after all these years

I still remember how her demeanor made me feel

I had to find a way to help her, it was an epiphany revealed

**

Where there is a will, there is a way

That is what the wise always say

To find a solution, once I made up my mind

The path became clearer, the purpose well-defined

It turned out to be an issue larger in magnitude

Than I had thought during that interlude

I got drawn into an issue that somehow turned out

To be eerily close to my heart, no doubt

This was my fate, how it was meant to be

I was destined to drift into this uncharted territory

**

I am an ordinary person and never thought I could inspire

A whole movement, but that was how fate conspired

She and I joined hands to fight the establishment

That had created her original predicament

Our efforts succeeded beyond our imagination

As more women joined us we became an organization

One thing led to another, we gathered enough momentum

To change laws, transform lives, we have become

A women-centric force to reckon with today

I thank the powers above that she crossed my way…

How could I forgive, I would say

Those who harmed me that day

They were people who robbed me

Of my life as it was meant to be..

I had nightmares, I could not sleep

The wounds from that insult did run deep…

Angry I remained, I could not move on

I wanted retribution for the wrong

That had been inflicted on me

So I just wallowed in self pity..

**

As time passed, our paths never collided

Their lives and mine never coincided

I held on to anger, in my obduracy

Unable to convince myself it was a fallacy

I don’t know if my anger affected their lives at all

But on my life, my anger was taking a heavy toll

**

That I could forgive, never occurred to me

Until I chanced upon “book therapy”

As I read spellbound about an Auschwitz survivor

I realized forgiving was doing myself a favor…

I worked hard to let go and grant forgiveness

Finally I closed the chapter on my emotional distress.

*

I understand it is hard to forgive

But holding a grudge is hardly conducive

To living a life of contentment

Where unresolved anger is the driving sentiment..

I do not feel pretty, but I yearn to somehow be

At least in pictures, the epitome of classic beauty

I twist and turn, make poses that I believe

Would make me be more attractive perceived

I smile unnaturally, tilt my head or stand

With my arm on my waist, as I understand

That way of posing makes me look much slimmer

I try to ensure that light on my best features glimmers

Now the desired effect is hard to obtain

When taking pictures during travel, it is a pain

To try to look attractive after walking in humid heat

Yet the absolute necessity of looking good is hard to beat

It is horrifying for people on social media to see

Me at my unattractive worst, when tagged by others especially

**

Let me stop here and see which photographs from recent days

Are worthy of showcasing on social media to garner praise…

Be consistent, I had heard- because consistency

Leads to results, it is the key

That unlocks the secrets of success

I dismissed that advice as idealistic jargon, I confess

The truth is consistency was difficult for me

To sustain, I was constantly seduced by novelty

Consistency implied something predictable and repetitive

To living an interesting life, predictability was not conducive..

So I started projects, abandoned them along the way

With a plate full of activities and travel, my schedule varied from day to day

I dreamt about achieving my objectives without

Putting in a consistent effort, no doubt

**

I’m not exaggerating when I say

The pandemic brought more structure to my day

With avenues for new experiences seriously diminished

To a more consistent schedule I had to switch

What’s more, I never even gave it a thought

Showed up day after day for myself, and this brought

Results that I had not even anticipated

Appeared before me unexpectedly- I was elated

Those few extra pounds that appeared fixtures permanent

Had melted away, because my workout regimen was consistent

The books I lamented I had no time to read

Adorned my bookshelves during this time indeed..

In many other areas positive results I found

Because I was being consistent all around..

**

These days I show up for myself every day

Consistency gets rewarded along the way

Between what we want and what we need

The contrast has never been clearer indeed

The pandemic and its aftermath have unveiled

How we have been overtaken by greed, how we have failed

To remember that human needs are but few

Most “needs” are just wants crying “me too”..

**

I for one, had never thought I would find

My ambition and possessions misaligned

Now I see my ambition and efforts were (mis)directed

At acquiring more objects- a practice I have now rejected

In favor of assets rather intangible

I focus on growth in spheres philosophical

My mind’s horizons I want to expand

More of the universe I want to understand

My soul should take deeper dives to explore

The abstract universe, there is so much more

To acquire except objects materialistic

I aim to achieve Nirvana as a mystic…

There’s the rhythm of day and night

That my body wants to follow, but with all my might

I resist the urge to synchronize

I sleep at midnight, late in the morning I rise…

There’s the monthly rhythm of the ebb and flow

Of the lining of my womb, that I hate to follow

Tools I have readily available to manipulate

My body, a busy schedule I have to orchestrate

There’s the rhythm of the seasons but who cares

About seasonal food-everything is available everywhere

Throughout the year, to have to compromise

On my choices based on season appears unwise..

There’s the rhythm of years I choose to ignore

As much as I can, aging is a topic sore

Why should I not look younger than my years

When I can display a youthful veneer?

**

Caught in the web of a life that ignored day after day

All natural rhythms, I realized I had fallen prey

To headaches, gastric upset and other such afflictions

Euphemistically termed as stress-related conditions

Expensive treatments, new-fangled stress-busters

All were quite useless, finally motivation I mustered

To cultivate habits that were with natural rhythms aligned

Without exaggeration, I can tell you that my body and mind

Felt better in ways more than one

A life more balanced for me had begun..

Millions of people in my motherland India and around the world are grieving at this time. This poem is an attempt to give a voice to those who are putting up a brave front..

I hope you don’t ask me how I am doing these days

For if you do, you might set a fire ablaze

I look composed but every fiber of my being right now

Is stretched to the breaking point, I don’t know how

Much longer I can hold it together though

One word of concern, and tears would flow

Ask me my well-being, but know before you do

The floodgates might open, drowning me too

The sorrow, the anxiety, the tremendous fear around

I shove deep down repeatedly, silence their sounds

Yet the slightest twinge of emotion can sway

My forced stoicism, simply wash it away..

When you ask about my well-being, I shall do so too

I don’t know what emotions that might evoke for you…

Maybe you are as broken as I am inside

Maybe behind a masked facade you too hide..

When losses are mounting, perhaps we shall find

In shared grief, some succor for our minds..

In a world that has descended into chaos and confusion

May your voice be the one of reason

In a world where selfish interests prevail

In helping others, may you never fail..

In a world careening towards disaster inexorably

Where countless others have failed to halt the catastrophe

May you be the one to change the trajectory

Steer away from destruction to stability

When beliefs born out of fear and superstition

Threaten the world with dangerous polarization

May you gently draw them away

From superstition and towards science today..

**

In the uncertain times that we face, we need

Rational thought in the midst of irrationality indeed

May you be the last one standing here

To restore sanity and reason, dispel fear..

If the best you can do today

Is to put one foot in front of the other, it’s fine

Do not overthink, no attention should you pay

To the running commentary in your mind

That tells you to disregard what you have gone through

That tells you to get up and run like you used to

Give yourself grace, nurse and nourish no one but you

You need to make yourself a priority too

The trauma you have faced, the scars that you bear

Are not going to suddenly disappear

You have lost so much that you held dear

You need time to heal, that is clear..

**

Treat yourself with tenderness, the way you would treat

Your child, parent or sibling indeed

Forget the narrative etched somewhere

You are not being selfish, you simply cannot care

For everyone else if you do not heal

Let yourself grieve, let your heart each emotion feel

For closure is needed to move past events traumatic

So that wounds do not fester or become symptomatic..

The world would be a better place tomorrow

Because of what you did today in this time of sorrow

While some saw an opportunity to sell oxygen and medications

At inflated prices, you sold at a loss to needy patients

While the COVID positive elderly couple was shunned

By fearful neighbors, you were the one who summoned

Enough courage to enter their home in protective gear

And help them with food, medications, relieve their fear

You were exhausted, discouraged and drained

After a brutal COVID ward shift, yet you helped a distant acquaintance in pain

You spent hours to secure a hospital bed somehow

Sacrificing needed and deserved sleep to allow

Yet another person to get a fighting chance

To escape the illness’s lethal dance

Running errands for your loved ones in quarantine

You drove your neighbors to get the vaccine

**

You did all this as some of your loved ones

Were fighting this illness in ICUs, in isolation

You’ve been going through private hell, but the world would be

A better place tomorrow because of your acts of humanity..

“The signs that children will bear the scars of the pandemic for years to come are unmistakable.” Henrietta Fore, UNICEF Executive Director

They have been silent bystanders of the pandemic

Watching their world upended, parents and grandparents getting sick

Not fully understanding what’s going on

Without articulating, they feel something is wrong

They have been banished from playing outside

Bewildered, they watch stressed adults, wide-eyed

The fear that pervades their home atmosphere

Leaches out to them, unspoken thoughts they do hear

Some are merely bored, glued to their screens

Others have faced horrors of abuse, unseen

Frustrations and fury of adults has at times culminated

In physical violence, its magnitude likely underestimated..

Food insecurity, isolation and lack of play

Are affecting millions of children today

Though the virus has largely spared them, other issues have proliferated

In this crisis the focus on our future generation has deteriorated..

**

I fervently hope children’s innate resilience would allow

Them to emerge from the pandemic unscathed somehow

Let’s hug our children a little tighter each day

Now and when COVID finally goes away..