Passion…unbridled

As someone who prefers solitude

I confess that I have never viewed

Clubs of any kind as suitable for me

I’d hardly joined any clubs until recently

When I found it difficult to decline

Participation in a book club- with books and wine

If seemed like an interesting way to spend

An evening with like-minded friends

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The book that had been chosen for discussion that day

Was one that I was indifferent to anyway

I had read the book beforehand

The plot I wanted to fully understand

To the greatest extent I wanted to participate

My first book club I wanted to celebrate

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I was not sure how discussing a book in a group would be

Reading, in my opinion is a solitary activity

But when I went there without notions preconceived

I found it much more enjoyable than I had believed

To get a perspective diametrically opposite of mine

Even though we all had read the same lines

Was a refreshing experience, novel to me

I discovered how enjoyable a book club meeting could be

*

Now a book club of my own I want to run

To get more people to realize that reading is fun

Reading aloud, dissecting characters and their motivations

In a group is much better than silent interpretation

A self-imposed challenge that I face

Is to find in my schedule enough space

To read the various forms of writing I want to

Medical journals, books, news articles, to name a few

Somehow I find time to read novels despite their length

But at the end of a workday I cannot muster will power and strength

To read journal articles related to my profession

I postpone such reading indefinitely, in true confession

Then there are news stories that I compulsively read

To stay updated on current affairs, truth is more engaging than fiction indeed

Many magazine articles, poems, travelogues I curate

To read at my convenience, but my stamina dissipates

After the first few lines, unread such articles stay

As I keep postponing reading them to another day

*

Unfortunately, in reading social media posts more time I spend

Than I should, reading about and watching the latest trends

This time sink I must avoid, I must read

Everything that for self-development I need

Social isolation is a malady of the twenty-first century

But as I just found out, it has created a trillion dollar industry

*

The loneliness economy is growing by leaps and bounds

The purveyors of capitalism have found

That lonely people have higher screen-time usage

They retain subscriptions, with emotionally charged content engage

Their loneliness is exploited and monetized

By feeding them content customized

*

People living in isolation are customers excellent

In chasing a dopamine rush their time and money are spent

In impulse purchases and scrolling endless

Their attempts to keep at bay loneliness

Are for businesses quite profitable

For them loneliness is a trait favorable

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In the throes of loneliness, I’ll try not to be

A fodder for the loneliness economy

Instead of scrolling mindlessly on my phone

I’ll spend time reading a book alone

One of my yardsticks in evaluating a good day

Is whether the book I’ve been reading has been impactful in some way

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I read to escape into a world different from the one in which I reside

When I start reading a book, I gear up for a roller-coaster ride

Sometimes the ride is amazing and the book leaves me spellbound

In those moments I feel as if Nirvana I have found

If I end my day after reading a book that has kept me engaged

The day has been successful according to my gauge

If a book leaves me angry like they rarely do

In a negative light my day I view

*

Unfortunately, a number of books that I read do not leave

Any lasting impression- I’ve come to perceive

The days on which I read such books as unremarkable

I then browse aggressively for books that appear desirable

*

On a great note I am ending this day

Because I read a book that was delightful in every way

Almost every time I sit down to write

I hear my inner voice gearing for a fight

You are not a writer- it reminds me again

Sometimes its admonition goes in vain

And I write effortlessly, but sometimes the voice is loud

And my writing comes under a cloud

Of self-doubt, writer’s block I get

The criticism from my inner voice is hard to forget

Whatever I manage to write does not satisfactory appear

That I am not a real writer, is my pervasive fear..

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My inner voice is worse when I try to create art

I acknowledge I am an amateur, I simply pour my heart

Into my art projects, but my inner critic I cannot satisfy

It finds my flaws with an intensely critical eye

*

My inner critic I must learn to ignore

It has been holding me back from doing more

Even if I am not a writer or an artist, I shall continue

To write what comes to my mind, to create amateur art too

The memory of my phone is running out of space to store

Photographs I have taken, and in order to keep taking more

Old photographs I am forced to delete from my device

I start by choosing duplicates and the ones that are not that nice

But doing just that proves to not be enough

I don’t know what else to delete, letting go of memories is tough..

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I want to record all of life’s important moments

To maintain a visual diary is my intent

I love looking back at old pictures when free

I cherish each and every memory..

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To document our lives in pictures has become

So simple that it can be done by anyone

But this way of preserving our memories is relatively new

For thousands of years, taking pictures is something people could not do

Their memories were solely confined

To the storage space in their minds..

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So why am I fretting about a photograph being deleted

When I have formed many memories deep-seated

I retain the memories even though the photographic proof is not there

Not every moment in life needs documentation, I’m aware

I write about a range of subjects wide

But what I want to write most about, I hide

There are emotions trying to get organized

Into words, to suppress them I have tried

Because I am not mentally prepared

For my innermost thoughts to be shared

I skirt around my emotions, I try to find

Anything to write about other than what’s on my mind

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I try to remind myself not to seek external validation

When I write, it should serve as a distillation

Of my thoughts and emotions, therefore I should not be

Inhibited by the thought of being judged negatively

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Writing is an exercise in being comfortable

In my own skin, in letting myself be vulnerable

Perhaps I shall get there one day

And to shape my deepest emotions in words, find a way

Each year incremental changes I see

In my physical and mental capacity

My reflexes are just a tad bit slow

Compared to what they were a year ago

I cannot sprint as fast as I used to do

Climbing up and down uneven surfaces wears me down too

Late night partying no longer desirable appears

Major disruptions to my daily routine I’ve begun to fear

My memory neither serves me well in retention nor recall

I am losing grey cells along with hair fall..

*

The inexorable signs of aging are there

But this is something I am reluctant to share

In a world where people my age seem to be

Younger-appearing, more adventurous and lively

It is hard to admit any age-related decline

In my physical vigor or faculties of my mind

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I’ve started living a dual life inadvertently

In public I display the energetic side of me

The wounds inflicted by age in private I nurse

Knowing that age-related changes I cannot reverse…

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Some day I hope I shall gather enough courage

To fully acknowledge and embrace my age

I have traveled to places with high expectations in the past

Only to realize the reality is different, quite fast

After hours of travel and braving long lines

The most famed sites lackluster I would find

Inclement weather and jetlag would add fuel to fire

And suddenly for travel I would lose all desire

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Now I deliberately keep my expectations low

I avoid in-depth research on the places to which I go

I try to travel with a more open mind

So that I take at face value whatever I find

I hope to be pleasantly surprised by every new place

But be prepared for challenges that I might face

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This is harder than it appears, once my travel plans are finalized

Travel content for that place shows up on my social media accounts, I’ve realized

That it is hard to ignore content staring in your face

So I end up looking at the airbrushed photographs of that place

Unfortunately I end traveling with notions preconceived

And get disappointed when differences between reality and instagram I perceive…

I know sleep is precious but I cannot resist

Staying up late to read a book with an unexpected plot twist

To put a book down just because it is past midnight

Is something I cannot bring myself to do, even as I fight

A battle between my mind that tells me to go to bed

And my heart that tells me to finish the book instead..

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Reading is considered a good way

To wind down and relax at the end of the day

But someone like me must be careful to choose

The right book for bedtime reading, or else I might lose

Myself in the plot and stay up way too late

Leaving me to spend the next day in a sleep-deprived state

*

Unfortunately I do this all too often for my good

I would prioritize sleep over reading if I could

Get over a lifelong habit of reading late at night

Reaching the end of a book before going to bed just feels so right!

I am seeing you in my clinic for the first time today

I get the sense that no matter what I say

You are going to have a hard time trusting me

You have grown disillusioned already

You’ve been given the runaround, I know

Between referral delays and insurance denials, things have been slow

You have been dealing with mounting frustration

In addition of seeing in your symptoms deterioration

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The good news is that you’ve come to the right place

The bad news- a life-altering diagnosis you face

I can treat you, but we have no time to lose

I do not know if you are going to choose

To place your trust in my expertise

Listen to me with an open mind please..

*

Together we can try to beat your disease

Hopefully I can put your mind at ease

With the next step I hope we proceed

I promise to be there for your medical needs..

In the spirit of following the current social media trend

I should talk about the lessons learnt this year before it ends

I do not have anything profoundly philosophical to say

But I have realized that at the end of the day

The importance of a good night sleep cannot be overstated

Sleep is vital for well-being, and I have elevated

Quality sleep to the top of my priority list for next year

If I learn to sleep well, positive changes in my life are expected to appear

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A good night’s sleep helps me keep anxiety at bay

My emotions are regulated, I have a better day

I handle stress much better, as a result, at night

The monster of insomnia I don’t have to fight

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As a professional hazard, I often deal with interrupted sleep

And the next day an upbeat attitude I cannot keep

The world seems like a hostile place

Challenges I find hard to face

Nothing feels right until I catch up on sleep that was lost

Each night of poor sleep exacts a high cost

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Now that the importance of sleep I’ve finally realized

In the new year good quality sleep I shall prioritize