Passion…unbridled

A creature of habit I had become

New ways of doing things I did not welcome

On years of experience I would often rely

Novel ideas I was reluctant to try

Every new tool with skepticism I would view

Changing my practices is something I would rarely do..

*

Despite my pretense of contentment I remained restless

I was suffocating in my close-mindedness

As an answer to my questions, almost serendipitously

The Zen concept of Shoshin was revealed to me

So my life in various areas I began to examine

Through the beginner’s mindset, or Shoshin

*

I began to let go of notions preconceived

I began to challenge my dogmatic beliefs

Like a beginner, I started enjoying new ways of doing things

And noticed I was happier, my enthusiasm was brimming

*

I hope the beginner’s mindset stays with me

So that I can keep learning continuously

I’m not a good listener, I confess

I often tend to talk in excess

But there I times when I am present

In places where a minority I represent

Where I am considered good enough to receive an invitation

But not good enough to make a contribution

*

That expressing myself would be futile, this fact once I realize

I decide to stay quiet and often, to my surprise

I listen intently to the discussion around me

And unlike my usual self, I become a listener extraordinary

*

I have learnt a lot by listening passively

Being unimportant is a blessing actually

When I cannot talk, I must hear what others have to say

And I pick up valuable advice along the way

The universe has since childhood enthralled me

The pictures from the new telescope are fascinating to see

Black holes, supernovas and nebulae

Cosmic cliffs, interstellar dust, galaxies

The awe-inspiring images have brought the universe closer to humankind

I am curious to know the latest astronomical finds..

*

I had thought of the universe in purely visual terms

But recently about sonification I happened to learn

The digital data captured by telescopes has been translated

Into images, but with the same data, sounds can be created

Initially I was skeptical about this sonification technique

But I tried listening to the sounds, ready to critique

To my surprise, hearing the symphony and watching the images simultaneously

Of nebulae and galaxies was a unique experience multisensory

By the sounds of the universe I was completely mesmerized

The auditory experience complimented the images before my eyes

*

To explore the universe through both sight and sound

Had an impact on my mind and soul profound

In knowing the wonders of the universe, I have an interest intense

I shall continue to follow telescopic evidence

How does my inbox fill up so fast

Has a spell on my e-mail account been cast

Such that e-mails mushroom out of nowhere

Leaving in my inbox (not just in the junk folder) no space spare

The one useful e-mail I need to see

Gets buried in the avalanche, or deleted accidentally..

*

Each time at my bloated inbox I stare

I vow to not give out my e-mail address everywhere

And reserve it only for selected sites

Such that useless e-mail does not occupy megabytes

I doubt my e-mail address I recklessly disseminate

But there are sites where my address self-populates

*

Sometimes I wonder if my evident inability

To manage my inbox reflects poorly on me

I wonder if my inbox with 10000 e-mails represents

The online version of hoarding to some extent

Does my jnbox say I am disorganized

Maybe the problem is worse than I previously realized

*

I make a resolve to weed unnecessary e-mails out everyday

So that they don’t clutter my inbox and my mind in any way

But the inbox seems to swell up so fast

What spell on my e-mail has the world wide web cast?

I am so impatient, what can I say

I want to do tomorrow’s work today..

*

Today’s work is done and I should rest now

But the anxiety about my workload tomorrow does not allow

Me to relax, I am dying to get a head-start for the next day

I want to begin the morning’s work right away..

*

For tomorrow I have already made preparations

Such that in the morning I can minimize my decisions

But I am annoyed that some tasks cannot be accomplished today

Instead of tomorrow- I want to save tomorrow’s time today..

*

Before I get to tomorrow I must ensure

That I have a good night’s sleep in order to endure

The rigors of tomorrow that cannot be

Dealt with ahead of time, or tackled preemptively

*

The sun will rise tomorrow, I shall rise too

And be ready to do everything I need to do

I was reading a book on science and in the afterword the author mentioned

That it gave him immense pleasure to write “Remains unknown” multiple times- initially I was stunned

To read that a researcher would find joy in whatever remained

After years of ardent research and exploration, unexplained

But as I read the page further, I realized how this statement

Embodied a scientist’s unwavering commitment

To continue to experiment, discover, explore

To be guided by the tantalizing promise of more

*

This reminded me of how each research proposal begins by stating

What is already known on a subject and the unanswered question one is evaluating

That thrill of launching a new experiment, a study, to find

Something potentially groundbreaking stimulates a scientist’s mind

That spirit of scientific inquiry was what the author was alluding to

And once I understood it, I was in wholehearted agreement too

Change your diet, your habits, your mindset

Change your posture, your attitude, or else you would regret

Remaining the flawed human being that you are currently

You need to change, so that a better person you can be…..

*

Change, I understand, is the only constant

But I have an issue with the rhetoric prevalent

That something about you is in perpetual need

Of change- be it your habits, your attitude, your mindset indeed

Why is there a persuasive compulsion to strive

Towards perfection, why not allow ourselves to thrive

Without trying to change some or the other aspect

Of our lives, what is the need to constantly introspect?

The stress of trying to conform to an ideal standard exacts a cost

And the benefit of a meaningful change is lost

*

Change should be guided by a compass internal

Not forced down our throats by compulsions external

The idea that we need to change because there is something we lack

Hurts our self-esteem insidiously, makes us lose track

Of the crucial changes that we need to implement

Guided by our intuition, our desires and intents

*

So make a change, not because someone else says so

But because you feel it us needed in order to grow

I’m cooking on the stovetop but what I want to do

Is maximize this time and read a book too

So while stirring the pot intermittently

I pick up a book trying to read simultaneously

My attention is divided, the pages lightly stained

With turmeric, I am not sure how much I have gained

By trying to multitask but the value of productivity

Is so thoroughly ingrained in me

That it feels like I am being lazy if I just stand and wait

For my dish to cook, being idle I’ve learnt to hate

If it’s not a book, then I try to listen to a podcast

But in doing two things, my attention span on either one does not last

*

The irony of trying to multitask is that I am still not as productive

As I would like to be, with a perpetual feeling of dissatisfaction I live..

*

Today I’m cooking, and I decide not to try

To multitask, I watch the onions sizzle and fry

I watch the food brown, roast, caramelize

I cook for the right duration (I’ve come to realize

That my food was either under or overcooked

When I was trying to multitask, the details I had overlooked)

Cooking felt relaxing, much to my surprise

It was an immersive experience, I realized

And due to misplaced priorities I had so far been deprived

Of the many benefits that cooking food could provide

*

Anything worth doing should be done with undivided attention

To expand this philosophy to other tasks is now my intention

English was my second language, but the colonial mindset was deeply ingrained in me

So I strived to improve my English vocabulary

I read, spoke and wrote in English, in an attempt to acquire

Proficiency in English, to make it my first language I aspired

*

Flowery and idiomatic language I would use

The most uncommon synonyms I would choose

To give my writing a (pseudo) literary flair

Despite being an avid reader, I was quite unaware

Of what made a piece of writing good

Most Indians used the loftiest words they could

*

Over time I have learnt to be succinct and concise

Using difficult words appears ridiculous, I’ve realized

Without properly conveying the meaning they intend to convey

So I use straightforward language for what I want to say

*

Sometimes I wonder if my language is too plain

I am tempted to insert metaphors again

To write well is an aspiration I hold

In language that is unique and bold

I remember the first monsoon rain

Falling in reluctant droplets, barely moistening the parched terrain

Rain falling for a period tantalizingly brief

The intoxicating petrichor bringing relief

The hot dusty winds settling down on the ground

A sense of new beginnings all around

The start of the season celebrated with swings and steaming tea

The magic of the first rain etched indelibly in my memory..

*

Later, the spells of steady rainfall

Flooded streets with paper boats leaving children enthralled

The rhythmic sound of raindrops falling on rooftops

Relentless rain that would not stop

Punctuated by rumbling thunder and sparks of lightning

And the low-pitched hum of crickets chirping..

*

Now, in a different land, in a different climate zone

Torrential downpours, threatening areas flood-prone

Strong gales and heavy deluge I have seen

Devastated by a hurricane my town has been

Now thunder and lightning ominous appear

Reminding me of tragedies penned by Shakespeare…

*

I long for that Monsoon season from my childhood days

When rain was welcomed and celebrated in so many ways

Where music and literature were heavily inspired by the rain

I long to be caressed by the raindrops and smell the damp earth again

My confidence has been standing on shaky ground

Before it is shattered by an earthquake, I should turn around

And bring my confidence to a place more stable

Visualize myself as being smart and capable

Tune out criticism, external and that of my inner voice too

Put on a smile and an attitude of “can-do”..

*

The perfectionist in me is afraid of making a mistake

My entire existence feels it is at stake

When a difficult challenge I face

I feel a self-inflicted pressure to ace

Every task that I perform, otherwise

My precariously perched confidence nosedives

Once my confidence plummets, it takes a while to rise

Only doing so after multiple tries

*

Building confidence is a work in progress

Confidence is one of the keys to success

Let me pretend to be confident in my skin

Maybe I shall score some wins

When I want to read an article I am conflicted

Whether to read it online or get a copy printed..

*

My eyes would thank me for reading on paper and not on screen

I would be able to underline and scribble in the margins clean

I would theoretically have a better ability to re-read

All these are arguments in favor of printing out the article indeed

*

On the other hand, screens are easier to access

Printing a whole article out is a longer process

Restricted by printer and paper availability, paper jams and more

Reading an article on a computer or my phone is easier for sure

My environmental consciousness gets activated too

Cutting down more trees is something I am averse to

If I print articles, I end up stashing them away

For bedtime reading, I never end up reading them anyway

*

An avid reader of printed books I happen to be

But scientific articles I end up reading on a screen mostly

I worry if retention and recall are compromised when I read online

So if an article is important, to print it I am inclined

*

My desk is cluttered with a stack of printed articles to be sorted out

This is another task that I could do without..

In the end I lean towards reading online

At the cost of straining these aging eyes of mine