Passion…unbridled

I think what I need is hidden somewhere

In a corner of my home, but I cannot spare

Enough time to try to find it, it is possible indeed

That I actually do not have at home what I need

So I just order the required stuff online

It takes one click, the app is designed

To make online ordering completely painless

It saves me precious time, I confess

Usually I have my merchandise

At my doorstep sooner than I realize

*

The stuff I’ve ordered gets used a few times and is banished subsequently

To a cavernous corner of my home, and I do not see

That object for several months and even years

Into the cache of forgotten stuff it disappears

This cycle continues, and eventually I acquire

Several copies of the stuff that I require

*

One rare day, to declutter I decide

As I empty from closets things hidden inside

I find duplicates of stuff ordered over the years

My consumerism is wasteful, it is clear

I keep buying more instead of looking after my possessions

I seem to have less time and more disposable income, in true confession

I am partly responsible for the landfills filling up fast

With non-biodegradable stuff that for centuries will last

*

I must learn to keep my stuff organized

I must take care of my possessions prized

Let this be my cue to declutter today

Let me trim the excess away

Most influencers in the beginning create

Authentic content, at a stage when have yet to collaborate

With big brands, they have fresh ideas and a commonsense take

On fashion, beauty, health etc.- they have not learnt to fake

Everything on camera, initially followers they attract

By being relatable, their authenticity is still intact

*

As followers grow and opportunities for monetization appear

The line between authenticity and pretense become less clear

All influencers seem to jump on the latest bandwagon

Adopting the newest trends attracts attention

Then brands start approaching to collaborate

More content now the brands dictate

Money flows, and followers grow

The social media account now imitates a professional show

*

With increasing popularity, the original intent

Of posting on social media is diluted by promotional content

Glamorous events, exotic travel, hobnobbing with celebrities

Become the norm, relatability does cease

To exist- the influencer has become a star

From humble beginnings and original followers, they have come far

I don’t understand how and why

Work just expands to occupy

Every waking hour, at least it appears to be so

I try to be fast but inevitably become slow

As new tasks appear seemingly out of nowhere

The moment I get through pending tasks, I am made aware

That there is yet another task waiting for me to complete

And the momentary sense of victory turns into a defeat

Every evening, I leave something pending for the next day

Leading to an endless cycle of all work and no play..

*

Staying late to complete work is not an issue for me

As long as I complete every task satisfactorily

What irks me is the inability to reach the finish line

With constant connectivity, it is considered absolutely fine

To take work home and complete it in surroundings comfortable

Tasks appear all day (and evening) long, I find myself incapable

Of working from home without experiencing resentment

To have a sharp demarcation between work and home is my intent

The blurring of lines does not agree with me

I have no desire to work constantly..

*

I hope against hope that tomorrow would be

A day when I dot every i and cross every t

Before heading home, unburdened and carefree

Enjoy my evening, for a new day be ready

When being competitive is ingrained in you

The streak of ruthless competition is woven into the fabric of what you do

The world a competitive arena appears

Being left behind is your worst fear

Your greatest motivator comparison becomes

Your are happy only when you think you have won

And you feel you’ve won only when a loss is incurred by someone

You live life looking at others, locked in a perpetual race

You are always afraid to slow down your pace

Your ego is to your achievement inextricably tied

Without oneupmanship you are not satisfied

*

As you grow older, somehow you acquire

Enough wisdom to weaken the competitive fire

You are tired of running a meaningless race

As the inevitable decline of old age you face

You begin to re-evaluate your priorities

Your focus on others starts to decrease

You drop out of the race that was playing out in your mind

Gradually satisfaction in your life you are able to find..

*

I am transitioning into a stage where I feel the urge to compete less

I am more satisfied with my individual progress

I compare myself with others to a lesser extent

To stop doing it completely is my intent

Some leaders are narcissistic and demand

Complete subservience, they need to have the upper hand

At all times- they can make or break

Their subordinates’ lives, everything is at stake

For the person who dares to challenge a leader like this in the face

The slightest demonstration of defiance has no place

In dealing with such a person, obsequiousness is the only way

One can out of sinister trouble stay

*

Someone at the mercy of an incorrigible narcissist

Starts wondering if this is the only way to exist

By being a sycophant at the cost of self-respect

Constant belittlement one comes to expect

Wondering if and how the pattern would break

Not “poking the bear” for sanity’s sake

*

When they look for advice someone is there to remind

That power is hierarchical, thus they find

That nothing ever changes, the prospect of leaving is also fraught

With graver repercussions that one could have thought

*

Trapped in an endless cycle it seems there is no way to exit

I can only hope in this situation that Karma does exist

I recall the exact moment when a thousand aspirations

Dissipated and shrank down to just one-

A stark contrast between the before and the after came

And to repeat a cliche, life was never again the same..

*

Diagnosis of a serious illness came as a blow

Though I delivered such news daily, I did not know

How profoundly life-altering the moment could be

When that sentence was delivered to me

*

All my hopes for the future were dashed

All the carefully constructed plans collapsed

As I went through the stages of grief, there was but one thought

Would I get better, and what would happen if I did not

*

Through months of darkness, I emerged on the other side

In “remission”, as my doctor proclaimed with unmistakable pride

I was a changed person, invested solely

In my health, my family and the community

Career achievements, ambitions, all took a backseat

My detachment from the material world seemed complete

*

A few years later, I’ve started making plans

For the future, at present it seems that I can

But I remember the time when my only wish

Was for the cancer to be vanquished

Someone healthy has a thousand wishes, someone ill just one

I’m grateful that the privilege to have hopes I was won..

The patient before me has several health conditions

That need to be addressed, I must find the most pressing ones

That I can try to fix in a short visit today

Unfortunately my patient has a lot to say

His anecdotes illustrate how his health has an impact

On his daily life, but in the interest of time, with as much tact

As I can muster, I interrupt him to tell him about my plan

I must wrap up the visit as fast as I can

I am being impatient, I am quite aware

In reality, it is not that I don’t care

I’ve already spent twice the amount of time allotted to me

There are other patients in the clinic that I need to see

While I would love to listen to that one patient, it would not be fair

To my other patients, for whom I would have less time to spare

*

Patience is a hard skill to master, for certain

It is even harder to practice when

You feel squeezed past the limits of efficiency

It seems difficult to listen patiently

To patients trying to tell you how they feel

In long-winded ways, you don’t have the time to deal

With their stories, you have to get to the next patient too

Running late with each patient is something you cannot afford to do

Because if you did, the workflow would stagnate

You cannot spend thirty minutes for every fifteen-minute visit on your template

*

Patience is not easy to summon on a busy day

But whenever unexpectedly I have extra time, I try to stay

A little longer in patients’ rooms to have conversations

About their lives, their concerns, their strengths and limitations

Not every visit can be as detailed, I know

I work on being patient each time things are slow

A pill prescribed for a specific condition Is perceived

As something potentially harmful, most people believe

That prescription medications should be minimized

More “natural remedies” should be advised

*

Though I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment

I caution against “herbal supplements”

That seem attractive because they are supposed to be

Natural, and therefore harmless to the body

*

The supplement industry is growing by leaps and bounds

Supported by wellness influencers around

Promising quick fixes for a variety of ailments

For every chronic condition, there is an herbal supplement

*

Sometimes they work, and the cynic in me

Says that it is the placebo effect mostly

The active ingredient is possibly effective too

But I worry about all the harm they can do

*

The supplement industry is not closely regulated

The active ingredient can be as diluted or as concentrated

As the manufacturers want it to be

And this can lead to adverse effects unfortunately

When they interact with other medications prescribed

Serious consequences have been described

*

Not everything natural is harmless

The plant world does many poisons possess

Here’s a secret I would like people to know

Dose determines the level of toxicity, and so

An herb consumed as a spice mixed with food is different

From the same herb packaged in a concentrated supplement

*

The quick fixes that we would all desire

Do not exist, getting healthy requires

Following healthy practices consistently

The results present themselves gradually..

I am exhausted from seeing patients all day

My work remains incomplete, I need to stay

For an hour or two to complete notes on the patients I have seen

My “in-basket” full of test results and patient messages I must clean

I usually head home only after every task is complete

I do it every single day on repeat

Which means I am never home early enough

But staying late every day is tough

*

I am tempted to leave without completion

Of my work, it is up to my discretion

Whether to finish my paperwork the same day

But I just prefer to do it anyway

*

Out of exhaustion, I pack up and leave

It should not be hard to pick up the next day, I believe

But the following day, I scramble to get notes done

I’ve lost ground, I’m lagging behind some

The cycle continues and work piles up some more

Until I’m working on the weekend at the expense of household chores..

*

Either I stay late every day or my weekends sacrifice

I have to spend extra hours, and pay the price

Of constantly trying my best to orchestrate

Between work and home, a balance delicate

One positive thing about the internet

Is all the information you can get

Because anything and everything cam be shared

No embarrassing details are spared

You find out others deal with some of the same issues

That bother you, things that you would not choose

To discuss with anyone except your doctor or therapist in confidence

Are discussed in various forums, it gives you reassurance

That you are not alone with weird problems and thoughts

And if you keep searching, a remedy can be sought

*

On the same note, I used to think some interesting traits were peculiar to me

But I am not that unique, the internet helped me see

For every conceivable issue there is a community online

That depending on your interest you can find

*

You just have to be careful about what you share

Online forums can draw you in and ensnare

You in a complex web if you are not vigilant

It’s best to engage to a limited extent..

I feel unmotivated and uninspired

I think I am increasingly wired

To constantly chase experiences new

And when there are none, I don’t know what to do

*

The weather is fickle, work keeps me occupied

The state of the world is chaotic, and I’ve tried

To let go of all thoughts and spend time to meditate

But I fail to erase invasive thoughts and create

The headspace to let creative ideas appear

I don’t know in which direction my mind I can steer

*

I am failing to come up with plans for this year

Time is just passing me by, I fear

All the advice I’ve read on creating the life of my dreams

Has fallen flat, I cannot figure out even short-term plans, it seems..

*

A voice inside me whispers to just let it go

Live in the moment, go with the flow

In the absence of a better idea, I shall heed

This piece of advice, perhaps this us what I need

It’s the five-year anniversary of the day

That upended the world as we knew it in every way

It was a seismic shift away from the way we used to operate

The world was paralyzed in a fearful state

A novel virus our world order had disrupted

Seemingly out of nowhere a pandemic had interrupted

The way we conducted business in a world globalized

The enormity of the pandemic we had yet to realize

Six feet away, masked and afraid

Cooped up in our homes we stayed

*

Exactly five years ago the pandemic was declared

It is amazing to see how the world has since fared..

We adapted and innovated through our fears

The scars from the pandemic have not disappeared..

*

Five years down the road, the most heartwarming part for me

Is that the pandemic was something we experienced collectively

To instantly connect with almost anyone anywhere

One can just talk about the pandemic we all shared..