Passion…unbridled

Persuasion is an art, they say

To compel someone to think your way

Requires achievement of a balance delicate

You have to first try to estimate

How strong their beliefs are, how much you can sway

Them in your favor, then you dispel their doubts away

Regarding your opinion, simultaneously

Let them doubt their own stand increasingly

The ultimate trick to make them change their opinion

Is to convince them that it is actually their decision

You’ve subtly nudged them and at the same time

Boosted their ego, you have them primed

To remain, for a while, audience captive

You have thus succeeded in your motive

Driving in the dark on a morning cold and misty

With the headlights on, with limited visibility

I focused on what was visible, the car before me

To see beyond that I was limited in ability..

My thoughts turned philosophical here

Of the direction my life wants to take, I’m unaware

The view of the future is clouded and I fear

Taking a wrong turn- that’s my worst nightmare..

*

The mist is a metaphor for life’s current state

Since I cannot see beyond the immediate

Instead of trying to predict a future nebulous

On the next step I should direct my focus..

Half a breath perpetually held

Half of the mind preoccupied

In fear of a disaster looming near

Panic always simmering inside

Life like a hurdle-race never-ending

From crisis to crisis, life seems to go

No time to catch a breath at all

Just weathering blow after blow

Tranquil moments lay forgotten

Chaos rules the roost every day

Real and imagined catastrophes

Conspire to take peace of mind away..

*

Take a deep breath- that’s cliched advice

But one that works well nevertheless

Take a breath deep, focus on it alone

Feel a reduction in the level of distress

Interrupt the flow of calamitous thoughts

Banish all the “what-ifs” from mind

Life will continue to present crisis situations

But less ruffled by them yourself you would find

Can I pick and choose

Which moments to file away

Inside the amygdala in my brain

Let only pleasant memories stay

Unpleasant situations are hard enough

To deal with in the present

I wish I would not ruminate

Over unpalatable moments..

My composure, my state of contentment

Is compromised in moments of discomfort

When I think about them later

My emotional memory intensifies the hurt

*

If only I could detach all emotion

From recollection of a disagreeable event

If only I could face unpleasantness once

And not let it fester into persistent resentment…

*

Life is too short to while it away

In pain over moments in the past

Therefore I hope that selectively

Unpleasant memories would not last…

How can a comment, made innocuously

Bring out an insecurity in me?

*

I am fairly accomplished, and confident

In my abilities, but I have shortcomings evident

That I don’t pay attention to most days

But sometimes, in surreptitious ways

My confidence ends up being undermined

As random comments pierce my psyche to remind

Me of something that I lack, and in that instant

My insecurity takes center-stage, becomes dominant

All of a sudden feelings of inadequacy flood me

I want to obliterate that flaw, I want to be

A different person with that quality I lack

Without it, I wouldn’t get my confidence back

*

Eventually that acute feeling of insecurity fades away

Sometimes I make a change, sometimes things stay

The same as before, but my confidence I regain

Until it is shaken by a comment again

All the disapproving remarks based on social norms

Reside deep in my psyche, to take a tangible form

When someone makes a remark in a similar vein

All my confidence-building measures seem in vain…

I understand your annoyance completely, I do

When the lady before you cannot understand you

Her proficiency in English language is limited

But she is trying to provide a service using language stilted

You have nothing against immigrants in general

But knowing English in this country is a requirement reasonable..

You are running out of patience, and you know

She can unfortunately sense so

She is scared, she fumbles for words some more

You decide to forget the request you’d made before

You think of withholding your tip, but to be fair

She gave you a good service, with attention and care

She did not understand some of your requests, it’s true

But she charges a lower fee for her service too..

*

After you’ve paid and tipped, you head back

And think about the immigrant who lacks

Proficiency in the language of this land

How she manages to work here, you can’t understand

It must take a lot of courage, you realize suddenly

To work in a foreign land, in the service industry

Without knowing the language well, you wonder how she

Overcomes her fear and faces her customers with dignity

You see her in a different light, and your frustration

With her lack of knowledge changes to admiration..

*

Each time you use her services you find

Her grasp of English is better, her sentences more refined

She doesn’t know but you cheer for her secretly

You want her to succeed in this land of opportunity

I think I make it abundantly clear

That I am a bibliophile, I hold books dear

Never do I go anywhere without a book in my hand

Even if I know I wouldn’t open it at all- I can’t stand

The thought of spending a free moment anywhere

Without being able to read- though to be fair

I spend as much time on my smartphone scrolling through

Social media posts, even when I don’t mean to

But the habit of carrying a book with me

Predates the advent of cell phone technology

If a physical book is cumbersome, I have books on my phone

In the company of a good book, I never feel alone

*

In to my passion when I take a deep dive

I realize that I don’t need varied experiences to thrive

Vicariously I experience the universe through books

I can be oblivious of my surroundings, not have to look

At anything else when a book is with me

Reading has taught me to enjoy my own company

Through times of turmoil and lack of human interaction

Books have sustained me, provided me a distraction

A refuge from boredom, anxiety, anger, despondency

Losing myself in a book has meant all of that for me

My life has been enriched by the books I have read

On a steady diet of new books, I hope I can continue to be fed

*

Let me always carry a book with me

If I find between errands some moments free

I’ll let some impactful writing create an impression

And reinforce with books my obsession

I ruffle some feathers when I talk a lot

Especially when I disagree with those who are taught

To think that they know everything-they often are

In positions of authority and power

I don’t perceive myself as disadvantaged in any way

But someone like me is expected to stay

Rather quiet, submissive, not have opinions strong

So when I act the opposite, it rubs people in a way that’s wrong..

*

When I don’t speak up, myself I disappoint

To be heard, first I have to express my viewpoint

I am afraid it would come back to bite me

If those in power I upset with my audacity

Then I reason, if I hold myself back due to fear

The status-quo would never change, that much is clear

*

I muster the courage to raise my voice

To speak up is a conscious choice

Even if it makes people uncomfortable

I shall bring my ideas to the table..

This is an intensely personal poem. We are a physician couple and often our entire workdays are spent talking to patients and colleagues (and documenting those conversations). Often in the evening we have no desire to talk at all because we have exhausted our bandwidth for conversation at work. Actually the idea came after I read comments from several people on a physician group that suggested the same.

I just got home, now I should be present

For my child, ask him how his day was spent

I should also talk to my spouse as I get

Dinner ready, but I completely forget

To interact with both of them, as I go about

Chores at home, I am quite content without

Needing to open my mouth to speak

My ability to communicate that was at its peak

During work hours has now sharply declined

In peaceful solitude, my business I want to mind

My husband and I exchange notes, and say

To each other that we’ve had an exhausting day

Being physicians, talking to patients without a break

Has taken away the urge to talk just for its sake

Our preteen is more than happy to not communicate

In anything but monosyllabic replies in his current state

Dinner is a quiet and quick affair to be completed

Efficiently (wordlessly) so the daily cycle can be repeated

Post-dinner with devices or books we unwind

In companionable silence we relax our minds

Difficult conversations that I’ve had with patients, I try to forget

If I talk to my family, I would talk about them and regret

Recreating a situation that was stressful for me

I avoid this by avoiding conversation completely

My husband echoes similar sentiments, therefore

On weeknights we hardly talk to each other anymore…

I sit down and stare at a blank sheet

Wondering what to pen down to defeat

The melancholic undertones all around

I want my words to have an uplifting sound..

*

The world reels from crises in every sphere

With everything mired in doom and gloom; I fear

Increasingly cynical we all could be

We could sink into an ocean of apathy

*

There are many heartwarming stories that deserve

To be told, and my words should serve

As a medium to bring those stories alive

On paper, and let positivity thrive

The one thing that I long to do

Is to hold time in my hands somehow

Catch a moment before it is gone

To savor it, myself I want to allow

I wish I did not have to run

Along the river of time flowing fast

I wish I could amble at a leisurely pace

I wish each moment in time would last

Long enough for me to experience

It with every sense of mine

Inhale its smell, hear its melody,

Taste its sweetness, feel its touch fine

And see the wonders contained in it

With eyes not half-closed, but open wide

Let no moment escape my attention

Let me sail through life with time on my side

How do you measure your progress?

How do you know you’re on the path to success?

And is success even important at all?

Isn’t it equally important to rise and fall?

*

You don’t want to just exist, you want to

Do better in your life, that much is true

You fear stagnation, you want to be

On a constant path of self-discovery

*

You try your best to learn things new

You continue to expand your skill-set too

Yet no discernible results you can see

You are still where you used to be

*

Everyone you meet seems to have gone further ahead

You try to evaluate why you’ve not, with a sense of dread

You look for encouragement, validation or applause

Effort that is invisible seems to be for a lost cause..

*

You have been working diligently every day

You have not slacked in any way

Maybe what you are doing is enough

To show up and work every day is tough

Success is not always a big leap

Progress is not always a slope steep

Give yourself more credit for what you do

Trust where your journey is taking you..