Passion…unbridled

I think I make it abundantly clear

That I am a bibliophile, I hold books dear

Never do I go anywhere without a book in my hand

Even if I know I wouldn’t open it at all- I can’t stand

The thought of spending a free moment anywhere

Without being able to read- though to be fair

I spend as much time on my smartphone scrolling through

Social media posts, even when I don’t mean to

But the habit of carrying a book with me

Predates the advent of cell phone technology

If a physical book is cumbersome, I have books on my phone

In the company of a good book, I never feel alone

*

In to my passion when I take a deep dive

I realize that I don’t need varied experiences to thrive

Vicariously I experience the universe through books

I can be oblivious of my surroundings, not have to look

At anything else when a book is with me

Reading has taught me to enjoy my own company

Through times of turmoil and lack of human interaction

Books have sustained me, provided me a distraction

A refuge from boredom, anxiety, anger, despondency

Losing myself in a book has meant all of that for me

My life has been enriched by the books I have read

On a steady diet of new books, I hope I can continue to be fed

*

Let me always carry a book with me

If I find between errands some moments free

I’ll let some impactful writing create an impression

And reinforce with books my obsession

I ruffle some feathers when I talk a lot

Especially when I disagree with those who are taught

To think that they know everything-they often are

In positions of authority and power

I don’t perceive myself as disadvantaged in any way

But someone like me is expected to stay

Rather quiet, submissive, not have opinions strong

So when I act the opposite, it rubs people in a way that’s wrong..

*

When I don’t speak up, myself I disappoint

To be heard, first I have to express my viewpoint

I am afraid it would come back to bite me

If those in power I upset with my audacity

Then I reason, if I hold myself back due to fear

The status-quo would never change, that much is clear

*

I muster the courage to raise my voice

To speak up is a conscious choice

Even if it makes people uncomfortable

I shall bring my ideas to the table..

This is an intensely personal poem. We are a physician couple and often our entire workdays are spent talking to patients and colleagues (and documenting those conversations). Often in the evening we have no desire to talk at all because we have exhausted our bandwidth for conversation at work. Actually the idea came after I read comments from several people on a physician group that suggested the same.

I just got home, now I should be present

For my child, ask him how his day was spent

I should also talk to my spouse as I get

Dinner ready, but I completely forget

To interact with both of them, as I go about

Chores at home, I am quite content without

Needing to open my mouth to speak

My ability to communicate that was at its peak

During work hours has now sharply declined

In peaceful solitude, my business I want to mind

My husband and I exchange notes, and say

To each other that we’ve had an exhausting day

Being physicians, talking to patients without a break

Has taken away the urge to talk just for its sake

Our preteen is more than happy to not communicate

In anything but monosyllabic replies in his current state

Dinner is a quiet and quick affair to be completed

Efficiently (wordlessly) so the daily cycle can be repeated

Post-dinner with devices or books we unwind

In companionable silence we relax our minds

Difficult conversations that I’ve had with patients, I try to forget

If I talk to my family, I would talk about them and regret

Recreating a situation that was stressful for me

I avoid this by avoiding conversation completely

My husband echoes similar sentiments, therefore

On weeknights we hardly talk to each other anymore…

I sit down and stare at a blank sheet

Wondering what to pen down to defeat

The melancholic undertones all around

I want my words to have an uplifting sound..

*

The world reels from crises in every sphere

With everything mired in doom and gloom; I fear

Increasingly cynical we all could be

We could sink into an ocean of apathy

*

There are many heartwarming stories that deserve

To be told, and my words should serve

As a medium to bring those stories alive

On paper, and let positivity thrive

The one thing that I long to do

Is to hold time in my hands somehow

Catch a moment before it is gone

To savor it, myself I want to allow

I wish I did not have to run

Along the river of time flowing fast

I wish I could amble at a leisurely pace

I wish each moment in time would last

Long enough for me to experience

It with every sense of mine

Inhale its smell, hear its melody,

Taste its sweetness, feel its touch fine

And see the wonders contained in it

With eyes not half-closed, but open wide

Let no moment escape my attention

Let me sail through life with time on my side

How do you measure your progress?

How do you know you’re on the path to success?

And is success even important at all?

Isn’t it equally important to rise and fall?

*

You don’t want to just exist, you want to

Do better in your life, that much is true

You fear stagnation, you want to be

On a constant path of self-discovery

*

You try your best to learn things new

You continue to expand your skill-set too

Yet no discernible results you can see

You are still where you used to be

*

Everyone you meet seems to have gone further ahead

You try to evaluate why you’ve not, with a sense of dread

You look for encouragement, validation or applause

Effort that is invisible seems to be for a lost cause..

*

You have been working diligently every day

You have not slacked in any way

Maybe what you are doing is enough

To show up and work every day is tough

Success is not always a big leap

Progress is not always a slope steep

Give yourself more credit for what you do

Trust where your journey is taking you..

When I search on the web for something Indian, I expect to find

Results related to India, that’s the only thing that comes to my mind

But I also find references to a culture

That was unfortunately named in error

There is a nomenclature different

Which may more accurately represent

The indigenous people who have lived on the land

Of the American continents, I am trying to understand

Why, in this day and age when we know

Better than Columbus did five centuries ago

That the people who have lived here forever

Have their own names for themselves, “Indians” they were never

They are still called by this arbitrary name

Internet search treats Indian and Native American the same…

*

Indians are from India, but then I recall

“India” is not an authentic name after all

Western colonizers named my motherland

It’s the only name that the world understands

*

Official designations remain deeply rooted

In the colonial past, most names are well-suited

To being spelt and pronounced easily

In European languages, evidently…

*

My internet search would be more fruitful if I did not see

Native American signs when looking for an Indian entity…

No is a word remarkable

In two letters, it can turn the tables

The word No is a complete sentence

Reflective of feelings intense

A sum total, an amalgamation

Of all negative emotions

A word with the power to force

People into silence, or change the course

Of action, bring to an abrupt end

Most discussions- it can tend

To cause discord, relationships break

But a simple no could be all it takes

To end a cycle of domination

A collective No against exploitation

Can spark a revolution indeed

No is the word that plants the seed..

This is not how you write

You must learn the right

Way to write poetry

You must get a diploma or degree

You have no qualification

For critical appreciation

Of poetry, it is a form of art

Just because you write from your heart

Does not mean your writing qualifies

As a poem, do not be surprised

If rejections are all you see

When you try to publish your “poetry”

*

Are you a believer in new trends?

Do you post on instagram and pretend

That you are a poet with a following substantial

As an “instapoet”, you start believing in your potential

With no understanding of meter or rhyme

You are just wasting your time

*

There are those who have made it their vocation

To read, write, critique poetry, to their consternation

An elevated art form you mutilate

Your writing skills you overestimate

By calling yourself a “poet” arbitrarily

The literati in their ivory towers are uneasy…

***

I don’t understand rhyme or meter

(And what is an iambic pentameter?)

I just write things that come to mind

Thoughts and emotions that I find

Difficult to articulate are easier to express

In a poetic format, I do confess

I am not a poet, but I want to reach out

To the world through writing, and without doubt

Social media platform is the way to go

Diverse voices and opinions the world needs to know

I’ve been told repeatedly

By well-wishers who care for me

That I can be anyone I want to be

Then why am I in such a quandary?

There is a question existential

To find things in my life that are essential

Eliminate things that are inconsequential

And thus live up to my full potential

*

Many different factors are in competition

For my rather limited span of attention

I am fickle, I cannot prioritize

I don’t know where my greatest passion lies..

*

What do I truly want, where do I want to go

I have not figured it out, and so

I live life in a perpetual state of confusion

I wonder if self-actualization is just an illusion..

*

So I live (? or exist) from day to day

Awaiting clarity to appear my way

Maybe the universe has a plan for me

That I am not yet able to see…

I’ve heard this often, but I’m not sure if this is true

You would regret the chances not taken by you

But why is it always about taking a chance on something new?

When you don’t take a chance, you make a conscious choice too

To not disturb the existing order, because you don’t know

If you would eventually make progress in going with the flow

Taking a leap of faith into the unknown adventurous appears

While staying where you are carries a suggestion of fear

Sometimes breaking out of your comfort zone can be

The ticket to a life more exciting, an opportunity

To realize your full potential, but then again

Sometimes it takes patience for you to obtain

Success, accolades, recognition that you deserve

Sticking through thick and thin too requires a nerve..

*

In a convoluted way this is what I am trying to say

If you absolutely must, jump ship today

But if you have any doubt, then re-evaluate

Maybe better things are in store for you if you wait..

The comforts of modern life have spoiled me

I live and thrive on the premise of predictability

With all the technology available these days

I can manage time effectively in different ways

Work commitments, travel, deadlines quite narrow

I expect to be able to fulfill, I can be on the go

Continuously, because I am connected to everyone everywhere

As long as everything works as intended, I don’t have to care..

*

In recent years, circumstances seem to have changed

A stable world order has been jarringly challenged

By the pandemic, war, natural disasters and more

The smooth operations our lives depended on before

Have run into rough waters, thus an element of uncertainty

Has invaded lives built on processes working predictably

*

I am a creature of habit, and while I pride

Myself on efficiency, I dare not hide

The fact that I am poor at adaptability

To unforeseen circumstances; instability

Makes me anxious, but I have to learn

To adapt quickly, there is nowhere to turn

When calamities strike out of the blue-

Improvising on the spot is all you can do

*

I cannot help but think that this has been

The reality that mankind has mostly seen

I am lucky to have lived most of my life so far

During a stable era devoid of hunger and war

It is now time to get used to discomfort

Learning to adapt quickly cannot hurt..