Passion…unbridled

Agonizing, each moment

Going through the day, a torment

Unfocused, unmoored in an anxious wait

In a turmoil, trying to project a calm state

Eyes wide open, but blunted sight

Ears that hear, but listen, not quite

A plastic smile, trying to hide

The tsunami raging inside

Destiny hanging in balance delicate

Test results with power to upturn fate

Benign or malignant, the odds are even here

It could be worse than imagined- is the constant fear

The phone rings, her heart stops for a second, it seems

As she braces herself to face the demise of her dreams..

So many things in the world appear

Incomprehensible to me, I fear

The many unknowns that surround me

Nebulous problems whose solutions I cannot see

To keep my sanity, to try to bring some measure

Of order in my world, to bring amid chaos, pleasure

I flex my creative muscle, albeit weak

Some form of creative expression I then seek

Be it writing, art, creating a dish new

Or adorning myself- I try to do

Something that breaks the monotony

Of a fixed routine, makes me think differently

I give my limited imagination free rein

To harness creativity, slowly I regain

My outlook positive- I know this for certain

Endorphins thus released drive away my pain…

**

My creative muscle gets stronger with use

And quickly develops atrophy from disuse

Thus I try to carve out time to germinate

An idea new-and find my happy state..

The devil himself must have designed our destiny

We can’t find a reason why else it would be

That not just once but repeatedly we find

While the world makes progress, we get left behind

Barely from the middle ages we had emerged

Now a new tsunami has left us submerged

In the abyss of a bloody ocean

Without any warning, without premonition

We are mere puppets in invisible hands

Decisions made by important folks in distant lands

Turn our lives backwards in the blink of an eye

Here we are, before being able to comprehend why,

Back to living under the shadow of fear

Back to shedding silent faceless tears

Suddenly we find ourselves struggling to comply

With archaic rules, we scramble to buy

Burqas- those head to toe coverings designed

To subjugate our souls, our bodies and minds

Forget about any aspirations we might hold dear

It is for our lives and safety that we fear..

**

Why have our stoic Afghani women

To suffer repeated violence been chosen?

We hope against hope there is some justice reserved

For us-for our aggressors to get what they deserve

(Image source- quotesgram.com)

We don’t practice paternalistic medicine

Shared decision-making is what we believe in

We go over options, the patient and the physician

Weigh pros and cons, personal preferences and come to a decision

We may recommend strongly, but pushy we are not…

This is something that’s lately weighing on my mind a lot-

Most patients are willing to take medications as prescribed

As long as trust in our competence is not compromised

Yet in the face of a pandemic, it seems we are less effective

In motivating patients to get a vaccine that can give

Them immunity from serious illness and death

We plead with naysayers, thinking of those struggling for their breaths

Yet outright rejection, indignation, even anger we face

When we bring up vaccination, as if we’ve said something out of place…

It is disheartening that in the same encounter,

Acceptable are recommendations all other

The echo chamber of anti-vaccinators has a powerful voice

A million scientific arguments cannot sway their choice

Any further attempts are viewed as paternalism

And that, it seems, further widens the schism…

**

I feel demoralized and defeated yet I try once again

To advocate for the vaccine, maybe this effort would not go in vain

I think of those suffering, and my efforts are redoubled

That’s the only step I can take in these times troubled..

Filtered, airbrushed in pictures, botoxed in real life

Flawless, perfect, unblemished face

The right skin tone, gloriously sun-kissed

Not a strand of hair out of place

Perfectly pouting in a lovely location

(COVID cannot ruin photoshoots after all)

Masterful editing used to convert

Into a majestic cascade a local waterfall

Half a million subscribers need content new

To live their fantasies vicariously

More views mean more endorsements too

Balanced on these numbers precariously

Sits her career as a social media influencer, therefore

She hashtags “no filter”- the market for authenticity is high

She brushes aside the intermittent twinges of guilt

And proceeds to post to social media her clever lie..

For millennia I think we thrived

In harmony with nature, we survived

Natural disasters, war and famine

Finally created the Anthropocene

Somehow somewhere along the way

The erroneous notion came into play

That the earth and all its non-human creatures

Were created for our benefit, its myriad geographic features

Were for us to exploit, first for our needs

Then for our comfort and finally for our greed

We came to believe, for lack of opposition from other life forms

That we were superior, the rest of the world had to conform

To our clever ideas, of which of course we had no dearth

We were the undisputed emperors of the kingdom of earth..

**

The laws of nature dictate that every action

Should have an equal and opposite reaction

We’ve exploited the earth to an extent immense

We can see signs of the consequence-

In pandemics, flash floods, forest fires and more

We’ve angered the Earth down to its core

Not that the clock can be reversed completely

But a more sustainable way of living is possible definitely

We are getting wake-up calls we should heed

To re-evaluate our balance with nature is what we need

To learn about your people, history you should read

This is what I had heard all along indeed

Diligently I read all textbooks in history assigned

That the content could be anything but gospel truth never crossed my mind

*

I must say I’m embarrassed to state

That after all these years, of late

I’ve begun to question, begun to doubt

The veracity of everything I’d read throughout..

*

Those who wield the pen of historic strokes belong

To the group in power, the group that is strong

The victor’s point of view is reflected in history that’s written

The voice of the oppressed remains from the world hidden..

*

My people were colonized, therefore

Once I realized this I could not be sure

Whether the history I read was an accurate representation

Of events as they happened, or was there some fabrication?

*

Yes, many of my ancestors recorded their history too

I try to read their work but it’s true

That in regional languages I cannot read

I read translations in the colonizer’s language indeed!

*

Though we live in a post-colonial era, we are

Steeped in a colonial mindset so far

It is time to cast off the myth of colonial supremacy

Our authentic history with a fresh perspective see

*

Let me learn history the right way

The powerful and the rich have always had a say

Let me now find stories of those who were colonized…

Bring forth the voices of those who went unrecognized

Too many hurting, too many in pain

Too many being challenged with staying sane

Crises unfolding in divergent ways

COVID wave on the home front, delta rampant these days

Political decisions, fanatic fundamentalism

Converging to pose threats to humanism

Countless women and children victims of violence

In Afghanistan, where unfolds a humanitarian crisis intense..

Natural disasters are unfortunately not far behind

Haiti’s new earthquake brings 2010 to the mind

Reeling from this catastrophe new

On the background of prior damage too..

The world in shambles, its denizens hurting now

I fervently pray for the Powers above to allow

Basic tenets of humanity and common sense to return

Such that we extend help where needed, vaccinate everyone…

**

Too many ills, too much suffering than can be

Avoided if the greater good of people we can see…

We thought since we had been given the privilege

Of making a difference to the lives

Of people ill, suffering, in pain

Since we could sometimes help the fortunate ones survive…

That we would have endless patience and empathy

For those suffering, our raison d’etre is to heal

Our profession and passion are aligned towards one goal

To alleviate suffering, we would always work with zeal..

*

The pandemic arrived to put to test

Our skills, our empathy, our resilience

Fearful for our families and ourselves too

We worked in the face of stress immense

Our hearts broke seeing patients struggle to breathe

People dying all alone- it was hard to witness

We climbed on a learning curve steep

We held on to hope while feeling helpless..

Hope that science would come to our defense

The unwavering belief that soon we would

Have vaccines effective, scientists were hard at work

With vaccines in hand, defeat the virus we would..

*

Our belief in science was upheld- in less than a year

Vaccines highly effective were on the horizon

We felt hopeful, as we battled politics and disease

That over the virus victory we had won

Believing in science, most of us did not

Think twice about getting the precious shot

We stood behind science, behind vaccination

This was the only way the virus could be fought

*

We knew the virus would mutate

We knew we had to mitigate

Its spread- we knew it was essential to vaccinate

A large percentage of the population- now it is too late…

We are back to square one, but this wave

Was preventable, if only people would get the vaccine

We are angry, exhausted, disheartened now

We hoped this would not happen, but it was not unforeseen

*

Pray that we retain empathy when we try to treat

Unvaccinated patients with therapies “experimental” too

Pray that our resilience is not challenged

Past the breaking point- we have a lot more to do…

What is the point of writing if it does not

Vex the reader, if it is not with discomfort fraught?

If words are in agreeability soaked

If unpleasant subjects are cloaked

In palatable phrases or idioms always

If dark emotions are merely grazed

At surface, without attempt at deeper dive

Such writing does not appear alive..

If the writer cannot pour his heart

If external pressure makes him modify his art

If authenticity needs to be sacrificed

So a factious goal can be satisficed

What purpose does a book like that serve

The reader and the writer do not get what they deserve

Sanitized, watered-down, insipid writing

Is pointless- words incapable of igniting

Passion in the hearts of readers are misspent

Such writing does not true writing represent..

**

Write with a fury, write without censorship

With a voice so fierce that it can rip

Apart emotions, leave the reader in anguish and awe

Write to reveal outrage, anger, injustice, pain…raw

Let the emotions wrapped in words eventually reveal

The path to redemption, the way forward to heal..

Perfectionism in a world that’s imperfect

Is what I strive for, but I cannot expect

The path to be easy, for nothing seems to rise

Up to my standards- I wonder if it is wise

To be inflexible, desire results impeccable

When real life is messy, chaotic, unpredictable

I often wonder if I should adopt a lenient attitude

Ignore minor infractions, descend from my perch of rectitude

But then, that pesky voice inside stops me

If I did not aim for perfection, where would I be?

Professionally, perfectionism is expected of me

Maybe in other spheres, less of a perfectionist I can be..

I think that is why my heart I pour

Into verses imperfect, therein lies the allure

Of playing with words without trying to create

A perfect poem- my verses reflect my imperfect, flawed state…

Why oh why do I fight

The lull of precious sleep at night

Daytime demons torment me, and so

Those demons I need to let go

Chaotic thoughts rear their ugly heads

I need to extinguish them, instead

It is that impulse somniferous

That I end up trying to suppress

Giving my overstimulated mind

Further ammunition such that I am inclined

To ruminate, cogitate, contemplate

Thus instead of transitioning to a restful state

I end up more awake- with a body crying out

For restorative sleep, which I again go without…