Passion…unbridled

As a gauche introvert, my heart sinks each time I come across

Well-intentioned advice that advocates for networking, I just want to toss

All my hopes of achieving success some day

In a garbage can, simply throw away

Any ambition that I harbor deep inside

I have not succeeded, though I have tried

To network with people, try to sell

All the qualities I have, things I do well

But it is already difficult for me to effectively communicate

Any attempt at self-promotion leaves in a more awkward state

*

I stay in a corner hoping someone important would see

The quality of my work and consider offering me

A chance to prove myself, a challenge new

But even if I get there, further what would I do

Because at some point networking would become inevitable

Without it I would bring nothing to the table..

*

I have come to terms with my introversion

I must learn to thrive with my mild aversion

To networking in the way that experts recommend

Maybe I shall still be successful in the end..

For some reason I had this notion in mind

That a real artist could only be defined

As someone who used paintbrushes to create

Masterpieces on canvas, mixing on a palette

Watercolors, oil paints or acrylics in various hues

A variety of shades the artist would choose

To create in each piece of art lifelike detail

Real artists, I believed, only created paintings large-scaled

*

I had no luck with brushes, their pliable tips did not respond to my will

But the longing to create art stayed with me still

Now pens and pencils seemed much easier to use

Therefore those were the art materials I did choose

Applying them to card-stock, I created

Artwork that with my aesthetic sense resonated

*

I expanded my artistic ambitions to canvases slightly larger in size

I still do not paint with brushes, I’ve realized

The firm tips of pens and markers bend to my will

But the paint brushes never have and never will

Dispense paint on a surface in a way that I desire

Therefore I have abandoned paintbrushes and acquired

Pens of every shade, type and thickness

Those way through art myself I’ve finally learnt to express

*

I am glad to my fallacious notion I did not stick

And that over paints, colored pens I did pick

At least I am creating art of some kind

Even if is not the image I had in mind

You’ve heard the quintessential immigrant tale

The romanticized version of overcoming odds that never fails

To impress people, the individual saga of struggles that stands out

In an essay or personal statement, that is admirable without doubt

Each immigrant is expected to have a similar story to tell

Of escape from poverty, persecution and living in hell

To the beacon of hope where they’ve come to realize

The American Dream, the unmatched prize

*

Your immigrant story has no harrowing details

You don’t have a rags to riches tale

You did not escape persecution of any kind

It’s not that employment you were unable to find

In your home country- none of those scenarios applied to you

You came out of sheer curiosity- it does not sound convincing, but it is actually true

*

You did stay and have made a home here

You have changed since you arrived, that much is clear

You gained some, but there was much you lost

Immigration was an opportunity you availed of, at a cost

Whether your life is better here is difficult to say

Your life is not a fable on immigrant success anyway

As an old-fashioned reader of printed books, I find

Listening to audiobooks tantamount to cheating, I cannot wrap my mind

Around listening to a book instead of reading one

I have been known to give up in frustration

To me, reading a book means turning pages at my pace

There in no page-turning in an audiobook, so I cannot embrace

Listening to audiobooks as an alternative viable

I want real books, preferably printed-they are more reliable

*

To go back and re-read something that I rushed through

In an audiobook is much harder to do

To rewind and listen again is simply not the same

As reading something on previous pages again..

There is no way something I like can be underlined

In an audiobook, it just has to be stored in my mind

*

In comparing the merits of both ways of “reading” a book I found

While listening to a book, the inflections in the sound

Can draw a listener into the story more effectively

Shakespeare’s sonnets are also easier to understand, evidently

When you hear them out loud, instead of reading them on a page

So I guess audiobooks do have that advantage..

*

In reading versus reading different senses in are engaged

For a book, I shall stick to reading words on a page

There are a hundred things on your mind

Just thinking about all of them overwhelming you find

With everything competing simultaneously for your attention

You end up focusing on less important things

, despite your best intentions

*

If you are overwhelmed by all the thoughts in your head

Do not let them stay there, write them down instead

From chaos, you are on your way to the first step of organization

From here you can move towards prioritization

Suddenly you realize that clarity of thought you have acquired

The sense of overwhelm has disappeared, you feel inspired

To take action on the ideas that most compelling appear

The ones that speak to you loud and clear

*

Using old-fashioned paper and pens

Write down what you feel, and see the world through a new lens

Write down a list, your ambitions, the story swirling jn your mind

Write for yourself, and a different perspective find

My work day is full of many distractions

I am constantly involved in multiple interactions

With colleagues and patients, and sometimes I find

The constant communication too taxing for my mind

Such that half-formed thoughts remain in suspension

As another pressing matter grabs my attention

Thus complex problems that time and focus need

Stay unsolved during working hours indeed

*

Once the work day is over and chores at home are done

And I’m trying to read or write something outside of work, inspiration

Strikes me suddenly, and a workable solution I find

To the problem that had been occupying my mind

Though work encroaches on my leisure time in this way

That “me” time allows problem-solving at the end of the day..

The wellness industry has clearly exploded

The market these days is loaded

With treatments, devices, experiences that promise

A journey towards wellness-induced bliss

*

From devices that can be used for tracking

Physiological parameters, that are then applied to biohacking

From the well-established practices of yoga and meditation

To outlandish practices designed for rejuvenation

The wellness industry has a pretty wide net cast

The burgeoning interest in wellness products is expected to last

Through this decade and for a good while

As people grapple increasingly with diseases of lifestyle

*

Wellness is a word with positive connotation

Much fancier than health, in my estimation

As a doctor, I should strive to not merely treat illness

Instead nudge my patients towards the path of wellness

Scientifically backed research from dubious practices I shall be able to parse

Only the most vetted practices I shall endorse

When browsing on the internet I stumble upon

An article towards which my attention is drawn

I click on the link, curious to read it in its entirety

And “You do not have access to this article” I see

Along with an option to subscribe to the journal and spend

An exorbitant amount of money to download it- I do not intend

To spend that much money for an article that I might

Just skim through, read superficially, then remove out of sight

*

I understand not everything that is written can be made available for free

Writers and researchers need to be compensated adequately

But it would be nice to be able to read an article fully

Once it has successfully piqued my curiosity

After anticipating an interesting read, I feel let down

When the full version of the article cannot be found

Through all the resources available to me

I resent the fact that all writing is not free

*

As a corollary once in a blue moon I come across something I want to read

And discover that the full text is available indeed

When this happens I do a happy dance

Energized by this highly favorable circumstance

I have played dumb, acted clueless, pretended to be unsure

Despite knowing exactly what was going on, but I shall do so no more..

*

I am well-informed and fairly smart, I know

But I often refrain from letting my capabilities show

So that some fragile egos are not bruised

I become an accomplice in keeping up the ruse

That some men in important positions are the best

And their dominance cannot be questioned or put to test

Especially when it comes to women, they must always appear

To be in command- losing face before women is their greatest fear

*

Societal conditioning had misguided me to believe

That it was completely acceptable to achieve

Anything as long as I did understand

That men needed to have an upper hand

*

I have now accumulated enough experience to know

That I do not need to be deferential to anyone’s ego

Be it a man or a woman, while I should give respect where it is due

Shrinking myself to inflate someone’s self-worth is not something I need to do

*

So the next time I know something, I shall not pretend

To be unaware or uncertain, I shall intend

To share my opinion without hesitation or fear

Neither weak nor meek I want to appear

I read that Cambridge dictionary

Has expanded its vocabulary

By around six thousand words, its latest inclusions

Have created in my mind some confusion-

Slang words common on social media have found

A place in a respectable dictionary, it sounds

A sort of travesty to me- words like “delulu”, “inspo” and “skibidi”

Are too casual to be included in a reputable dictionary..

*

I know neologism is a facet of lexical innovation

Languages evolve through the creation

Of new words and phrases that describe

The zeitgeist of the times, the prevailing vibes

But some words used on the internet sound

As if real words have just been twisted around

And mangled such that the younger generations

Can exclude older generations from their conversations

*

I am sure brilliant minds did debate before

Adding these words to the lexicon, therefore

I would be better off withholding my opinion here

And acknowledging that since these words now appear

In a dictionary, I can look up the definitions when I need

So I do not embarrass myself before Gen Z indeed

I would dabble in art on lazy weekends

In indulging my interest, never did I intend

To make art more seriously, nor did I possess

The audacity to consider myself an artist, I confess

That I was just trying to find a hobby that would make me

Step away from devices, keep me from scrolling mindlessly

*

As time went by, I was encouraged to create

Artwork that was a bit more intricate

The variety of art supplies that I needed grew

As I kept experimenting with media new

*

I had been creating art for a while but had not

Designated a specific place, I had never thought

That I needed a “studio” space to indulge my creativity

The kitchen table and a closet to store supplies were good enough for me

*

Having close women friends is a blessing in ways more than one

But my friends who have encouraged me in my endeavors from day one

Made me realize the need for a separate place for my art

And then helped me carve out a space in my home-from the bottom of my heart

I thank them for helping me find something I did not know I needed

I am so grateful that their sage advice I heeded

*

Now I retreat to my private space when I am inspired

My art supplies are right there, I can spread them out as desired

I am happy to say that marked improvement my artwork has seen

I dedicate it to my friends whose encouragement a constant has been

Of all the ways I use to self-soothe when stressed

Making unnecessary purchases is the one that needs to be addressed

*

There are times when my morale runs low

Or I am exhausted from constantly being on the go

Books and podcasts fail to keep me engaged

In trying to write I keep staring at a blank page

I am alone with my devices, scrolling aimlessly

Advertisements for clothing and accessories keep luring me

In to making a purchase I definitely do not require

And I proceed to buy stuff not out of desire

But out of boredom, and a misguided sense

That I deserve something nice as a reward for my workload intense

*

In terms of material objects I already have more than enough

And when I keep adding to my stash of unnecessary stuff

I assume ownership and therefore the responsibility

To manage a large and disorganized inventory

And as I have lamented, for time I’m already hard-pressed

Having more stuff to take care of just adds to my stress

*

When a new object comes into my possession

It makes me happy momentarily, then goes into recession

At the back of closets and other storage spaces in my dwelling

And the amount of useless stuff in my home keeps swelling

*

There are enough clothes currently on this planet to dress

The population for six generations-and I confess

This statistic is profoundly sobering to me

My habitual consumption makes me feel guilty

*

Before I go further, let me acknowledge

The unassailable fact that I am incredibly privileged

To be able to buy what I want without finances being a consideration

And that is why at some level I have an obligation

To consider the carbon footprint of this unfortunate habit of mine

And keep the negative impact of conspicuous consumption in my mind