Passion…unbridled

Is it me or my altered sense of reality

But something is not right, it smells fishy

You tell me the negativity is all in my head

I should concentrate on the positive aspects instead

You undermine my confidence at every turn

You leave me stranded in confusion

What you mean I can never figure out

I try to decipher your actions but am left in doubt

You dismiss my interpretation in seconds and then chide me

Making me feel incompetent repeatedly

I wonder if my sanity is intact multiple times a day

I fantasize about breaking free and running away

Except that your tentacles are spread far and wide

And I do not have the ability to hide

*

I am tolerating your behavior, while trying to build

My resilience until the cup of dissatisfaction from you is filled

Even if nothing seems to be favorable for me now

I shall wait for Karma to show me the path forward somehow

If I am able to write something at the end of a busy work day

If I can string my angst into words when things are not going my way

If I am able to give words to an emotion profound

If I can write in my own words the advice sound

Given to me by my parents throughout the years

If I can express coherently what has moved me to tears..

When I put my feelings into words I set them free

No more are they able to bother me

When I write, I indulge in self-soothing and self-care

I gain more insight into my behavior, I become more aware

*

If I do not write, emotions continue

To linger in my mind, and perturb me too

But when I write they settle themselves in the space

Between my words, thus bringing my mind solace

*

So let me write, even if my writing is sup-par

Writing is the best form of therapy I’ve found so far

Blessed are those who have found

Lasting friendships, it makes a difference profound

To your life if you have friends who have your back

Your social interaction is limited if good friends you lack

Social isolation is now established to be

A risk factor for dementia and early mortality

*

When you move away from home you lose

Your childhood friends, you have to choose

New friends for yourself, but friends are hard to find

Inevitably your friendships are by your children defined

So you become friendly with other mothers around

Organizing playdates and carpools, you surround

Yourself by other mothers, by default they become your “friends”

But in dealing with them you have to be artificial and pretend

To be someone you are not for the sake of your children

Otherwise there is little you find in common with those women

*

Once in a while by serendipity

You find someone with whom you can be

Yourself without attaching any strings

You find the joy that true friendship can bring

You go out for walks and trips into town

Where you are able to let your hair down

You feel more vibrant, more energized

This is what you were missing, you realize

*

The power of female friendships should not

Be underestimated, much joy can be brought

Into life by having close friends in whom we can confide

After all, we are in for similar roller-coaster rides

*

This verse is a way for me to remind

Myself to actively try to find

Women friends with whom I can spend

My free time, and perhaps my years on this planet extend

Everything needs to be reviewed on the internet

You read the reviews to decide what to get

Be it services or goods, there is a space

To plug in your review, the reality we face

Is that reviews have the power to make or break

Any endeavor- I know a lot is at stake

For the one being reviewed, therefore if I drop a review

It is almost always positive, I choose not to

Post anything if I am angry or dissatisfied

I fear Karma would come back at me if I tried

Giving a bad review, someone would do the same to me

But if I am kind, it would be reciprocated hopefully

*

Sometimes when I sit down to write my comments

I read through other reviews and to some extent

I get influenced by them and alter my review

To match the majority, this is something I probably should not do

But being completely honest is difficult because I know

How hard one has to work for a product to be sold

How a single negative review can lead to a business turning cold

*

Let me write a glowing review for my recent experience

Which was excellent when viewed through my lens

Let not my well of empathy run dry

Let not my once boundless enthusiasm die

Assembly line products I do not manufacture or sell

I treat people when they are vulnerable and unwell

In the midst of dwindling resources and increasing burden of disease

Let me not get so disillusioned that I completely cease

To work as a physician, another vocation find

To maintain my sanity and preserve my mind

*

I love a good challenge, I am competitive

More than a hundred percent I do not hesitate to give

To treat my patients, or contribute to an advancement

In clinical medicine, but I am limited in the extent

To which I can see more patients in limited time slots

I am a human being dealing with humans, not a robot

*

Let me take care of patients with empathy and my skills

Let administrative burden my exuberance not kill

At the risk of sounding abrasive, this I have to say

Just leave me alone to do my job my way!

The atmosphere charged

Emotions riding high

Tempers mercurial

Difficult to pinpoint why

Unpredictable weather

Unprecedented heat waves

Unstable political climate

So many concerns grave

Us versus them in everything

Divisions run deep

No common ground anywhere

There is polarization steep

Economy in doldrums

Grocery bills all-time high

No respite in sight

Anxiety levels reaching the sky

*

Take a deep breath, close your eyes

The world is not ending today

Reduce your news consumption

Lest you get carried away

You are resilient, so is humankind

There is a lot that can be done

To get past the paralyzing fear of an apocalypse

Has to be half the battle won

The world seems to be descending into chaos, and I just pray

For sanity and commonsense to prevail in such a way

That extremism does not further spread its wings

That before violence becomes commonplace, someone cuts the strings..

*

What unites us is far stronger than our differences

Why do we fall prey to radical influences

There is no us versus them for humankind

We shall sink or swim together- we must keep that in mind

*

Today the most pressing challenges that we face

Are global in their scope, then how can we find a place

For solutions to huge problems in a divided nation

What we need is national and international collaboration

*

I end as I began, hoping sanity is able to prevent

Into chaos and anarchy our imminent descent

I have embraced minimalism to a great extent

In acquisition of objects, my intent

Is to be mindful of the stuff I own

However slowly but surely what has grown

Is my “consumption” of experiences new

In a hyper-competitive world, what I tend to do

Is occupy myself with stimuli incessantly

I read, travel, try new forms of entertainment constantly..

*

I’ve firmly believed the quote that an idle mind

Is a devil’s workshop, therefore I’ve been inclined

To keep my mind occupied in ways that are productive

To counteract cognitive decline and be able to live

A fulfilling life, be a well-rounded person indeed

But it may be that my brain I am trying to overfeed..

*

For my mind to wander I leave no space

For mental rest and rejuvenation there is no place

In my lifestyle, and maybe that is why I am plagued

With insomnia, attention deficit and feelings of anxiety vague

Perhaps I need to bring in the minimalist mindset

To activities and experiences, so my mind and body can get

Opportunities to slow down and take rest

I invest my time in experiencing life, but I should invest

More time in creating mental space free

To enhance my well-being and boost my creativity

(My heart goes out to those from the town of Jasper, Alberta, Canada who are reeling from a wildfire now, I am also thinking of Maui residents..)

Hearts are breaking as people retreat

From the burning town, away from the heat

How powerless human beings could feel, no one knew

Before the fire spread, consuming all but few

Buildings across town, all burnt to the ground

Breathtaking beauty replaced by destruction all around

Fire that turned into a self-sustaining blaze

Clear blue skies replaced by a gray haze

Horrifying walls of fire raging through

What apocalypse has the world descended into?

*

One iconic place burning today, another burnt down last year

Destruction from wildfires is something to fear

What’s ruined in minutes would take decades to rebuild

Would the profound sense of loss ever be filled?

There is a lot in the world to process

And whenever over an issue I start to obsess

My chaotic thoughts I feel compelled to organize

Into words- when I put them in writing I realize

My true feelings on the issue at hand

As I write, I seem to better understand

Not the issue itself but how it has affected me

It is part therapy and part self-discovery

*

Since information on social media is hyper-sensationalized

It triggers a stronger emotional response, I’ve realized

I am guilty of social media consumption excessive

And sometimes I get “triggered” by a post in a manner negative

Although this is a self-imposed problem, the best solution I find

Is to write to pour my emotions and calm my mind..

You learn a lot about life when you practice medicine

The lessons help you through thick and thin

*

Being an educated professional who had achieved

The tenets of traditional success had led me to erroneously believe

That I was exceptional in some way, that belief was reinforced

When I received appreciation from patients and colleagues in the course

Of my daily work, my confidence was rising every day

For a while the sailing was smooth all the way

*

In medicine confidence is needed but the slightest bit

Of overconfidence can in a powerful manner hit

That happened to me, as I did not realize that I had strayed

From being confident to being overconfident, I am now dismayed

To think that I did not check myself before it was too late

I made an error of judgment, and I am just relieved to state

That the consequences were minor, no harm was done

But it was a blow to my inflated ego, a valuable lesson I did learn

*

Pride comes before fall, and it is important not to be

Carried away by overconfidence, to practice humility

To recognize the limitations of what I know

Be prepared to learn at every step and grow

I’m constantly looking for a dopamine surge

I want to constantly be on the verge

Of another novel experience, my everyday life appears

Too monotonous, to have to live in boredom I fear

Sometimes I get my stimulation from travel or from a book

But unfortunately most of the time I tend to look

At my devices and scroll randomly through content

On social media sites, to curb my craving to some extent

*

I know a “dopamine detox” is what I need

It has to start with social media indeed

All other ways of getting a dopamine high

Are less accessible to me, and that is why

I should get off facebook, instagram and X

And my dormant creative muscles flex

To find something more tangible to do

That curbs my craving for dopamine too