Passion…unbridled

If you browse the internet regularly

Scaremongering content I am sure you see

Appearing to cite data pseudoscientific

Such content gets shares and likes prolific

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In the scientific method well-versed am I

Therefore I try my best to rely

On evidence from studies performed meticulously

If an article has references, I check out the original study

Often I am able to draw conclusions on my own

From a study whose findings have been out of proportion blown

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Online content appeals to emotions not thoughts

Content meant for scaremongering is fraught

With warnings that sound sinister or ominous

So even when the source appears dubious

Sometimes I end up falling into the trap of fear

Against my better judgment- I let my reasoning disappear

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The emotional pull of a fearful scenario is such

That reasoning cannot counter it much

Thus unsuspecting people fall prey

To such content, while scaremongers get their way

(Happy Holidays everyone!!)

This is a nod to all the Christmas movies involving family drama- I neither decorate, nor cook multi-course dinners on Christmas or any other holiday..

I am trying my best to celebrate

The holidays with perfection, I’ve had to wait

For this opportunity to make everything right

I want my house to be merry and bright

With curated decorations and gifts purchased thoughtfully

At least my house is partially ready

I wrap each gift creatively and with care

I flex my artistic muscles to prepare

Various knick-knacks and decorations by hand

(I don’t know if anyone would understand

But indulging in these crafts is immensely satisfying

Than using generic decor items that most people are buying)

The holiday dinner that I am planning to host shall include

An abundance of fresh ingredients and made-from-scratch food

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Everything seems perfect, I eagerly await

The arrival of extended family to celebrate

The instagram-perfect holiday I have in mind-

Everyone arrives….and things start to unwind..

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There is noise and boisterous laughter everywhere

The decorations are broken, the gifts have not fared

Well- gift wraps have been ripped, toys are strewn over the floor

The artistically laid out dinner is demolished, and what’s more

In the midst of all this there is brewing resentment

Some family members are giving each other silent treatment

While the kids run amok, indulging in rough play

All in all, it’s turning out to be a beast of a day…

I take a deep breath and to a corner retreat

I wonder how only hours before I had been upbeat

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I get lost in a reverie until someone calls me

Somehow things have quieted down considerably

Everyone has come together, the atmosphere has improved

Stomachs are full, the worst of the clutter has been removed

We start telling stories and anecdotes one by one

And voilà, we’ve captured the perfect spirit of the season!

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If you think I’m disappointed my effort unnoticed went

I am not- one way or the other, I fulfilled my intent!

A story in my mind slowly unfolds

A gripping story that begs to be told

The characters lined up neatly in my brain

Clamor for my attention, pester me again and again

Their narratives ring in my ears, imploringly

To let them materialize on paper for everyone to see..

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I have in my head the story outlined

I have the setting and the plot defined

My characters have complex roles assigned

I just need to put in words what I have in mind..

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When I finally carve some time to write

A powerful writer’s block I have to fight

I write a few sentences, then lose interest

Another day, I decide, I would write the rest

But that day does not come, the story remains

Only in the gyri and sulci of my brain..

Blow your bugle everywhere

On every platform of which you’re aware

Every milestone that you achieve

Amplify manifold to make people believe

That you are smarter than the rest

After all, who’s going to subject you to a test?

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Embellish everything you have done

Every competition that you have won

Think of anything that you can highlight

That would portray you in a superior light

It’s your responsibility to advocate

For yourself, your résumé you should inflate

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Just know that at the end of the day

When all profiles are similar, what would come into play

Is your unique personality that would outperform

Your profile on an online platform

Just because I look content it does not mean

That I am satisfied with staying where I’ve been

My desires and aspirations I hide from view

But the assumption that I don’t have them is not true..

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I firmly believe in showing my actions and not

Simply sharing with everyone my thoughts

My actions should speak louder than words for me

By acting on my dreams, I hope to make a difference eventually

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Like everyone else, in the future I want to be

A better version of myself, but this is my personal journey

I do not necessarily need fame or recognition

But I want to grow on my terms and conditions…

“Can I get something to sleep” is a question I’ve come to dread

I don’t have a pill, but a long winded answer instead

Poor sleep has a list of reasons that I explain

While I can treat physiological reasons such as pain

That interfere with sleep, more often than not

I am unable to offer my patients a lot

Most of them have tried multiple interventions anyway

That do not address the various factors at play..

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Who can empathize with my patients better than me

Poor sleep is my numero uno enemy

If only I could get uninterrupted sleep every night

Getting through each day would be less of a fight

I know that pills would not solve my sleep issue

But I don’t really know what to do…

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So this is a topic on which I can commiserate

With my patients, even when their insomnia I cannot ameliorate

As on the tenets of good sleep hygiene I expound

I remind myself to follow them too for sleep sound

I seem to carry unquenched thirst inside

An existential angst that is difficult to hide

A fire that constantly burns within me

A nebulous longing that threatens me with misery…

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What am I missing, where can I find

Something to quieten my hyperactive mind

What goal, after all, do I need to achieve

So that some solace my mind can receive..

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From looking outwards, I have changed to some extent

To search inside me is my focused intent

Despite being on this journey for some time now

Self-actualization has continued to evade me somehow

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Perhaps the universe has for me a design

I should just patiently wait for a sign

I hope to discover my true calling one day

Until then I shall just amble along my way

In the moments when you are most vexed

When trying to live life leaves you perplexed

You go down a rabbit hole that is deep

From which it seems impossible to climb up walls steep..

In a well of despair and despondency trapped you stay

Unable to rescue yourself until help comes your way…

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You think you should be strong enough

To weather storms, to fight battles tough

Depression is something from which you should snap out

By sheer will-power, without letting anyone know about

The struggles you are facing, you should have the toolkit

To carve a path out of despair, to find the exit

But sometimes you cannot be objective

About your struggles, you need an external perspective

To help you find a way out of the doldrums you are in

To lend you support when you are on footing thin..

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Therefore you must try to reach out and you must

Explain your emotions to someone you trust

An external perspective can give you the clarity you need

Such that you pull yourself out of the trench indeed

Invariably my weekends are filled to the brim

With social commitments and chores- the chances are slim

That I get a lazy afternoon with no agenda defined

An afternoon without any pressure on my mind

Some precious hours for me to browse through books

At the library, or an elaborate meal cook

From scratch, using herbs fresh and fragrant

Mindfully peeling, chopping, sautéing every ingredient

Or sitting at my desk with art supplies before me

Creating art using brushstrokes unhurriedly..

An afternoon at a leisurely pace spent

Doing something worthwhile without a predetermined intent..

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I had unstructured time available to me, therefore

On a lazy afternoon I accomplished more

Than I would on an afternoon that was “busy”

Extra time for me is the ultimate luxury

Mindlessly, indiscriminately, I consume

Information that I come across, I assume

That later I would be able to sort and separate

Relevant from irrelevant information, and collate

Bits of information that are useful to store in my memory

While discarding all information irrelevant to me..

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But everything that I scroll through has an impact

Even if I do not remember the content exact

It takes up precious mental real estate

Leaving less brain power to concentrate

On what is relevant to me, what I really need to retain

Therefore I make a resolution (once again)

To mindfully consume specific content online

That with my goals and purpose aligns

Why am I told repeatedly

To just bow down to authority

To accept and step out of the way

Of those in power, to never have a say

I am told by everyone I cannot fight

The ones in power, I must assume they are right

Any retaliation is absolutely futile

Trying to oppose them is not worthwhile

Neither those in power nor the decisions they take

Would change, my spirit is the only thing that would break

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When someone above me does something not quite right and I remain silent

I become guilty by association, my true opinion is not evident

To anyone else- being lower in the order of hierarchy

I may get blamed for something that was not even supported by me..

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To oppose someone in power is never easy

It can backfire, come back to bite me

Therefore my sense of righteousness I forego

Forget about everything and try to lie low

I distance myself from the situation, I do not fight

I wait for Karma to set the world order right

What keeps me up at night

Are my impossible dreams- that I fight

Constantly, I tell them to fade away

But they resurface every day

To taunt me, ask me why I have not made

Any attempt to turn them into reality, why I have not paid

Enough attention to what they keep trying to tell me

How do I explain to them that I do not see

Myself as a person whose dreams come true

The present I have enough difficulty navigating through

Therefore I think it is worthless to prioritize

My dreams, because they would only materialize

In a nebulous future, if they come to fruition at all

So, in the attractive trap of dreams I don’t fall

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My dreams still cling to me tenaciously

From their grasp I cannot seen to break free

Someday I shall listen to them attentively

And explore the direction in which they take me..