Passion…unbridled

I can procrastinate indefinitely

Tasks that don’t need to be done urgently

I have a running list of things to do in my mind

Things that drop to the bottom if there’s no defined

Timeline in which they are expected to be completed

It’s not important right now is the mantra I have always repeated

To delay anything that does not need to occupy

My limited time and attention, and that is why

Some projects exist only in a future mythical

I talk about, but never act on them, in my manner typical

**

As a type A individual I seem to thrive

Under pressure, all my faculties come alive

When there is a narrow deadline to meet

I want to accomplish a difficult feat

In record time I love to reach the finish line

I galvanize all my resources to align

In such a way that I am efficient and productive

Under time constraints, my entire focus to one project I can give

**

The downside of being this way seems to be

Being my own boss is more difficult for me

I have figured that self-imposed deadlines

Do not work as well for projects that are mine

I need to have someone to marvel and say-

How did you complete this task in one day?

**

I am working on a time-bound challenge as I write

Using limited time productively to my delight

Every Sunday night I wonder anew

Why is it that my list of things to do

Is never complete, enough time I can never find

To complete all tasks and still be able to unwind

The weekend is meant to recharge and rejuvenate

But a busy work week does necessitate

That the weekend is spent on household chores

There is a pressure to add recreational activities some more

All socialization occurs on weekends too

Leaving me with less and less time to do

Everything I need to, there is not enough

Time to rest, Monday mornings are tough

At the beginning of a busy week I decide to make amends

I resolve to prioritize rest the following weekend

But the same story is repeated week after week

I lower expectations each time, as some respite I seek

From an over-scheduled life where I struggle constantly

To prioritize rest and relaxation for me

*

Maybe I just need to lighten my load

Leave some things to take care of down the road

Loosen up the uptight perfectionist inside

Take every day as it comes, in my stride

But I must first make relaxation a priority

The resolve to do so has given me much clarity

To give more attention to you

To share a joke, life events too

To spend more than fifteen minutes

To not make a premature exit

From your exam room, is what I’d like to do

But I have limitations of time too

If you needed more time to provide care

I would definitely give you a greater share

Of the time that I have, but again

Small talk would be difficult to maintain..

The small talk that lends the crucial human touch

To patient-physician interaction is what I crave much

That makes you distinguishable from your disease

That makes you relaxed and more at ease

During your appointment, more engaged you can be

That translates into better compliance eventually…

*

I could not give you enough time at your visit; but I’d like to call

And go over your test results, though I often fall

Short on the time required to do so personally

I have to delegate a staff member to call you for me

Although through the patient portal you have already seen

Your test results, I wish I could tell you what they mean

In non-medical terms, provide reassurance and a plan

Again time constrains are such that I rarely can

*

Since time is limited and I have to prioritize

I have unfortunately come to realize

That I devote more time when things are not going well

Your condition needs more attention, or I have to tell

You about the poor prognosis of your illness

I selectively bring doom and gloom, I confess

If things are well and test results favorable

I rely on shortcuts to convey that you are stable

I wish I could spend equal amount of time to communicate

The good and the bad as it relates to your disease state..

(Image source: http://www.glasbergen.com)

I am a somewhat quirky nerd

Wrapped in my cocoon in this world

To be more social, I aspire

To interact with more people is my desire

*

But small talk I cannot make

Showing interest, I cannot fake

So many things I find superfluous

Or plain boring, there is much I can’t discuss

*

I think sometimes I am too cynical

At other times I am hypercritical

Unfortunately I seem to sniff out nonsense

Too quickly, I just look for substance

*

I come across as too serious, I am aware

I’m not fun to be with, I can declare

Humor seems to be wasted on me

Maybe I take everything too literally..

*

In writing this verse, I’ve realized one thing indeed

To develop a sense of humor is what I need

To connect with people, I should be less uptight

Laugh self-deprecatingly, not worry about being right

Sometimes I wonder if I subconsciously

Set myself up for failure-so cautiously

Do I proceed that every hurdle serves to distract

Me from my path, I easily get sidetracked

The forest for the trees I miss completely

The bull’s eye in the center I cannot see

I get mired in inconsequential details

In seeing the big picture I inexorably fail..

**

When I take on a project large in scope

That I would be able to prove myself, I hope

I want to do it right, I want to please everyone

Inevitably roadblocks appear as soon as I’ve begun

Some people are displeased, some feathers get ruffled

In silencing dissent, my voice often gets muffled..

**

By being burnt repeatedly I’ve had to learn this lesson

Every step of a process may not proceed with perfection

Not everyone is on board at every step of the way

You must remember the ultimate goal at the end of the day

To be flexible and forgiving, not sweating the small stuff

Is the way to accomplish goals ambitious and tough

I’m not making excuses, I admit freely

That the hardest thing in the world for me

Is to exercise, increase my physical activity

Because I seem to have an inherent proclivity

To be a couch potato, curl up with a book

To sit or lie down, I can always find a nook

I can easily exercise my eyes and my brain

But physical exercise just seems to cause pain…

*

I also admit that I take care of hearts

And in doing so, one has to start

With healthy diet and regular exercise

So if I don’t follow my own advice

It seems like a dishonest thing to do

Motivating me to make different choices too..

*

To counteract the pain of exercise I require

Something that I more keenly desire

Therefore as I get my creaky joints in motion

I read simultaneously, for a dose of my magic potion

The more engrossed I am in my book, the less

Physical discomfort I perceive, greater is my progress

If I don’t exercise, it is reading that I actually miss

Exercise may release endorphins, but books give me bliss..

*

At the end of the day, to summarize

Reading helps me in all forms of exercise

To keep myself fit in every way indeed

Outstanding books are what I need

There are times when myself I find

Narrating my life’s mundane moments in my mind

I find myself describing my day

As if I am writing a chapter, in a way

That I would talk to readers (imaginary)

In language and style I perceive as literary..

*

I do not yet have a story to tell

But there are audacious dreams that dwell

Within the depths of my innermost desires

The urge to write something burns like a fire

To craft a story spellbinding and unique

The language of a writer I want to speak

*

So inadvertently at times I find

I become a fictional person in my mind

I imagine how my life’s circumstances would look

If I were a character in a book

Alone and bored, when I daydream

My fantasies are composed of bookish themes..

*

Instead of conjuring up mere sentences, one day

I hope inspiration would come my way

And the idea for a compelling story would germinate

In my mind, until then I would patiently wait

(This poem refers to the Iranian protest anthem Baraye by Shervin Hajipour that was recently performed by the band Coldplay in Buenos Aires, Argentina and broadcast to the world).

Music is meant to feed the soul

Sometimes it expands outside this role

Becoming an instrument of social protest

A song, once sung, you cannot arrest

The freedom of singers, songwriters may be

Curbed, the protesters suppressed brutally

You cannot kill a song, you cannot obliterate

Lyrics once composed, they continue to resonate

Through the ears, hearts and souls of millions

Involved across the world in a revolution

This is powerful music, with potential to galvanize

So many, it has come to characterize

The revolution, become an anthem

For the people, to unite and energize them

*

A song was breathed into the air

It fell on ears of millions everywhere

Long, long afterward it remained

In the collective psyche of people once chained

(Image source: medyanews.net)

When I was young, not yet prone to negativity

I thought I was interesting, charismatic, witty

I had audacious plans, I thought I could

Be anyone I wanted to be, I fancied I would

Travel the world and have a life storied

The life of a multifaceted maverick I would lead..

*

Maybe I was delusional, maybe it was the influence

Of the books I had read, but I had a desire intense

To be extraordinary, be unique, and unconventional

Learning about varied topics was a habit intentional

I wanted to be someone with an opinion to express

On any topic being discussed, leave people impressed…

What is striking to me now in my non-delusional state

How overconfident I was, how highly myself I did rate!

*

Somewhere along the way, I had the painful realization

That I was squarely ordinary, and the bloated estimation

Of my abilities was completely off the mark

I was a boring introvert- that was the reality stark

With limitations on both experiences and skill

My dreams were giant shoes the real me could not fill

*

I lead a perfectly ordinary, mundane life indeed

I adventure vicariously through characters in books I read

I rarely say anything that can remotely be perceived

As interesting or intriguing, but I am relieved

To know that I do not have to try hard to maintain

An interesting persona, I can be boring and plain

****

Somewhere, though, in a corner of my mind

Is the hope that one day I would find

Myself involved in an extraordinary situation

In which my exceptional skills I would have to summon…

Cells become quiescent, animals hibernate

Life is punctuated by periods of dormant state,

Therefore I should take a break and vegetate

On my couch or my bed, daydream and ruminate

Over the state of my life, my country, the world

Let my mind wander as I lie comfortably curled

Let my overburdened cells repair and rejuvenate

Reduce oxidative stress and reverse their damaged state

*

Let me enter a state of quiescence

Take a break from my schedule intense

Let me replenish my depleted energy stores

Let me treat myself, let me rest some more

Separate the chaff from the grain

I remind myself of this analogy again

Each day when at work and in life I face

Information overload trying to jostle for space

Within my mind, my capacity to process

I fear decision paralysis from this excess

I have to separate noise from data of relevance

I get better at this separation with experience

Despite this, there is constant bombardment

Of new information that does present

A challenge for me to figure out

Whether it is something I can do without

Or it needs to be absorbed and filed away

In a recess of my brain for use another day..

*

Every resource including time is finite

Therefore in order to do it right

I separate the chaff from the grain

Each day, to keep me productive and sane

From an eastern culture pick an ancient practice

Package and promote it as the newest way to acquire bliss

Tell people who are in their lives stressed out

How acquiring ancient wisdom can bring about

Radical changes in the way they feel

Make them calmer, less stressed, more even-keeled

*

Pronouncing foreign words with meanings difficult to understand

Learning exotic practices from a faraway land

Is a way to showcase yourself as someone

Who is a culturally and socially conscious person

Suddenly ikigai, shinrin-yoku, wabi-sabi

Have gained on social media popularity…

*

Time-tested wisdom is good to imbibe

Ancient practices certainly should be revived

But not just to become a tik-tok or instagram fad

When every influencer jumps on the same bandwagon, it’s sad..

*

Most of these practices seek to restore

Balance between self and Nature, therefore

To practice them requires time and patience

I hope we can treat them with more reverence