Mothering pains

cat-1116_078_0I have a confession to make here

There is nothing nowadays that I fear

More than meeting other mothers on weekends

For children’s activities- I’d rather run mundane errands

 

For each time mothers meet, the topics of conversation

Revolve around the extent of their enthusiastic participation

In their children’s lives- soccer practice, dance recitals

Advanced math classes, playdates- these are the staples

Of life as a mother- to which I sadly do not conform

I know driving children everywhere is the norm, 

That I cannot keep up with because I need 

The weekend to recharge my batteries indeed

While spending some quality time with my son-

So we read together or do art projects for fun

I am perfectly happy doing this, and so is he

(I think), but then I get worried each time I see

Or hear other mothers talking about 

The tight schedules of their children; doubt

Starts clouding my mind- what if my son

Falls behind his peers- no, he has to run

The same race that everyone seems to

Be running, surely they have a better clue

As to how dabbling in ten different activities

Can secure a seat in an Ivy League with ease..

 

When I get carried away by these thoughts, I want to

Enrol him in every single activity available too

Then I stop myself so that I can  re-evaluate

My priorities for my child, consider what I have on my plate

It is true that I want my child to develop skills multi-faceted

But not the same skills as others- I want him to be unique instead

Maybe by being at home and doing projects with me

He is learning more by exercising his creativity

Then I calm down and decide not to be a part

Of mom discussions next time- that would be a good start!

(Image: www.theriaults.com)

 

 

 

 

 

Mom guilt

“Guilt to motherhood is like grapes to wine.”- Fay Weldon

momguilt-683x1024I dream about a day that I
Can fulfill all my obligations under the sky
Without being interrupted frequently
By motherhood and its myriad responsibilities

I sit at my desk trying to type out
An intellectual paper, but am interrupted by a shout
From my child, who is facing a crisis with his toy
He is producing copious tears, my little boy

Adept at crisis management, I fix the issue
Engage him in a book, happy with myself too
For tearing him away from toys and towards pursuits better
But soon he stumbles upon difficult words and letters
And I am called away from my occupation to attend
To him, to help him read so that the book he comprehends
Once again, I try to plow through my task
With some desperation, quite certain he would ask
More questions, keep interrupting me
The end of my project is not something I can see
My son’s read the book, now he wants to eat
Eager to get back to work, I let him have a treat
He takes his time, savoring the not-so-healthy snack
Grateful for the silence, I work quickly, not looking back
Finally he is done, and asks me what to do
By this time I have run out of options too
So recognizing defeat and laying down in surrender
I let him get the I-pad, despising myself, no wonder
For succumbing to the easy way out with exposure to a screen
I end up letting him get what I did not mean
For him to get, but my nerves are frayed
Patience runs thin, and I am dismayed
At how little I’ve accomplished in the last two hours
I need to forego battles to win the wars..
The tightrope between career and motherhood that I navigate
Is something I’ve chosen, this is an intentional state
So laden with guilt my assignment I complete
Which already feels like achieving a feat
Then go back to being a mother as ideal as I can be
Who can engage her child in productive pursuits constantly…

My Miracle

dsc07042I had not heard, I was unaware

Upon my life, I think I could swear

That true love could happen more than once

I had never imagined I would get a chance

To fall in love a second time; precipitously

At first sight too, taking you in my arms nervously

That day my heart filled up to the brim, I thought

With love for you, more  capacity there was not 

For my heart to swell, but so wrong was I

My love for you kept growing under the sky

Over the years, I found, I had inside me

To love you, an endless capacity..

 

You lie asleep, your curls framing your face

Exuding peacefulness that pervades the space

Around you- while I watch your belly rise and fall

To me, you’re the world, though you are so small

Each time you run up to me and lock me in an embrace

My whole world is confined to that little space

Your guileless laughter and comments innocent

Remind me of the precious bond we have at present

I am operating on borrowed time, I do know

One day you will grow up and off you will go

To explore the world, fly with newfound wings

While I shall be shedding tears over your forgotten things..

But you are my miracle, you constantly remind me

That I did something right in life, though unknowingly!

 

 

 

 

 

Roaring mom

child-reading-with-mother

The term “Tiger Mother” comes from the book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” written by Amy Chua, and refers to a strict disciplinarian mother. The methods of a tiger mother are quite controversial, with many people condemning such a harsh approach to parenting. While the original reference has a cultural aspect to it, in my poem, I do not intend to make any cultural statements. I believe all over the world there are some mothers who push their children to excel, and I think that might not always be a bad thing.

I know the “Tiger Mother” has received
Criticism from everyone for her beliefs
She is a merciless tyrant who does not care
About her child, she is so focused that she is not aware
That her child in trying to excel in every sphere
Is stressed out, stretched thin, living in fear
Of being disciplined by her if he falls short somehow
Of her expectations, no leniency does she allow
The psychological impact of her strict parenting style
She does not realize, is snatching away her child’s innocent smile
Her child is weighed down by expectations unrealistic
He has no opportunity to develop in a manner holistic

This is the critical manner in which we perceive
The mother who pushes her children to achieve
Yet I’d like to say something in her defense
She teaches her children that the essence
Of success lies in hard work and discipline
Such a mother inspires her children to win
Some say this comes at a cost to
The self-esteem of the child, I don’t think that’s true
For when a child sees the fruits of his labor
His confidence soars-that’s a point in her favor
She motivates her children to be diligent, and thus succeed
Isn’t success what we all want for our children indeed?

No I am not saying all mothers should try
To be tiger mothers, the idea would not fly
Some parents bring their children up to do
Whatever interests them, keeps them happy too
That approach works well, I do agree
I just think that’s not the only way to be
It takes all kinds of parents and their techniques
To create diverse adults with qualities unique!

Parent-teacher conference

dsc_0193So I am  expected to attend

As a kindergartner’s parent

A parent-teacher conference next week

I panic, wishing some counsel I could seek

From parents who have been there before

I don’t know what the meeting has in store

For me, all my insecurities come to the surface

What is in the classroom my child’s place?

Does he listen, learn, behave, or is he

Inattentive, disruptive, loud and noisy?

I know I try to teach him the right thing

But has he picked up some of my habits embarrassing?

I knows he can read a book with me

But whether he reads in class is a matter of uncertainty

Deep down in my heart I am afraid of being perceived

As an incompetent mother, I probably need

Some words of encouragement before I proceed

Into this anxiety-provoking situation indeed…

**

So the D-day arrives, I am anxious as expected

I fake a smile, so that my feelings are not projected

When the report is finally revealed to me

My tension eases, my child is viewed quite positively

In most areas of learning, weaknesses are few

None of this is actually information new

I rejoice, feeling quite elated

As a mother, I  feel strangely validated

As first-time parents, we improvise as we go

Afraid of being wrong, so it helps to know

From others that our children are doing all alright,

Their prosperous future is our only goal in sight!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Exclamation Mark

exclamation-points

Teaching my five year old one day

To write sentences the proper way

I asked him to end his sentence

With a period, as would make sense

He protested saying that he was excited

So he would use an exclamation mark, he decided

After that, any attempt to persuade him was futile

He was excited about writing, he would say with a smile

And so a period was never sufficient

To capture his exuberance and his excitement.

**

That set me thinking how far apart

Are children and adults, despite the same start

While everything can children excite

We adults need something exotic to ignite

Our excitement, most things are inane

Childlike exuberance may not be considered sane

How come we lose the ability as we grow

To experience joy, to go with the flow

My sentences in question marks now end

Over time the exclamation mark got bent

Now I am trying to relearn how to enjoy

Every minor experience with my little boy

It is not easy, I have been conditioned

To face events of daily life without much reaction

But through my child’s eyes I can now see

Something exciting in most things ordinary!

 

Image source:Source:http://quotesgram.com/exclamation-quotes/