Passion…unbridled

How do you measure your progress?

How do you know you’re on the path to success?

And is success even important at all?

Isn’t it equally important to rise and fall?

*

You don’t want to just exist, you want to

Do better in your life, that much is true

You fear stagnation, you want to be

On a constant path of self-discovery

*

You try your best to learn things new

You continue to expand your skill-set too

Yet no discernible results you can see

You are still where you used to be

*

Everyone you meet seems to have gone further ahead

You try to evaluate why you’ve not, with a sense of dread

You look for encouragement, validation or applause

Effort that is invisible seems to be for a lost cause..

*

You have been working diligently every day

You have not slacked in any way

Maybe what you are doing is enough

To show up and work every day is tough

Success is not always a big leap

Progress is not always a slope steep

Give yourself more credit for what you do

Trust where your journey is taking you..

When I search on the web for something Indian, I expect to find

Results related to India, that’s the only thing that comes to my mind

But I also find references to a culture

That was unfortunately named in error

There is a nomenclature different

Which may more accurately represent

The indigenous people who have lived on the land

Of the American continents, I am trying to understand

Why, in this day and age when we know

Better than Columbus did five centuries ago

That the people who have lived here forever

Have their own names for themselves, “Indians” they were never

They are still called by this arbitrary name

Internet search treats Indian and Native American the same…

*

Indians are from India, but then I recall

“India” is not an authentic name after all

Western colonizers named my motherland

It’s the only name that the world understands

*

Official designations remain deeply rooted

In the colonial past, most names are well-suited

To being spelt and pronounced easily

In European languages, evidently…

*

My internet search would be more fruitful if I did not see

Native American signs when looking for an Indian entity…

No is a word remarkable

In two letters, it can turn the tables

The word No is a complete sentence

Reflective of feelings intense

A sum total, an amalgamation

Of all negative emotions

A word with the power to force

People into silence, or change the course

Of action, bring to an abrupt end

Most discussions- it can tend

To cause discord, relationships break

But a simple no could be all it takes

To end a cycle of domination

A collective No against exploitation

Can spark a revolution indeed

No is the word that plants the seed..

This is not how you write

You must learn the right

Way to write poetry

You must get a diploma or degree

You have no qualification

For critical appreciation

Of poetry, it is a form of art

Just because you write from your heart

Does not mean your writing qualifies

As a poem, do not be surprised

If rejections are all you see

When you try to publish your “poetry”

*

Are you a believer in new trends?

Do you post on instagram and pretend

That you are a poet with a following substantial

As an “instapoet”, you start believing in your potential

With no understanding of meter or rhyme

You are just wasting your time

*

There are those who have made it their vocation

To read, write, critique poetry, to their consternation

An elevated art form you mutilate

Your writing skills you overestimate

By calling yourself a “poet” arbitrarily

The literati in their ivory towers are uneasy…

***

I don’t understand rhyme or meter

(And what is an iambic pentameter?)

I just write things that come to mind

Thoughts and emotions that I find

Difficult to articulate are easier to express

In a poetic format, I do confess

I am not a poet, but I want to reach out

To the world through writing, and without doubt

Social media platform is the way to go

Diverse voices and opinions the world needs to know

I’ve been told repeatedly

By well-wishers who care for me

That I can be anyone I want to be

Then why am I in such a quandary?

There is a question existential

To find things in my life that are essential

Eliminate things that are inconsequential

And thus live up to my full potential

*

Many different factors are in competition

For my rather limited span of attention

I am fickle, I cannot prioritize

I don’t know where my greatest passion lies..

*

What do I truly want, where do I want to go

I have not figured it out, and so

I live life in a perpetual state of confusion

I wonder if self-actualization is just an illusion..

*

So I live (? or exist) from day to day

Awaiting clarity to appear my way

Maybe the universe has a plan for me

That I am not yet able to see…

I’ve heard this often, but I’m not sure if this is true

You would regret the chances not taken by you

But why is it always about taking a chance on something new?

When you don’t take a chance, you make a conscious choice too

To not disturb the existing order, because you don’t know

If you would eventually make progress in going with the flow

Taking a leap of faith into the unknown adventurous appears

While staying where you are carries a suggestion of fear

Sometimes breaking out of your comfort zone can be

The ticket to a life more exciting, an opportunity

To realize your full potential, but then again

Sometimes it takes patience for you to obtain

Success, accolades, recognition that you deserve

Sticking through thick and thin too requires a nerve..

*

In a convoluted way this is what I am trying to say

If you absolutely must, jump ship today

But if you have any doubt, then re-evaluate

Maybe better things are in store for you if you wait..

The comforts of modern life have spoiled me

I live and thrive on the premise of predictability

With all the technology available these days

I can manage time effectively in different ways

Work commitments, travel, deadlines quite narrow

I expect to be able to fulfill, I can be on the go

Continuously, because I am connected to everyone everywhere

As long as everything works as intended, I don’t have to care..

*

In recent years, circumstances seem to have changed

A stable world order has been jarringly challenged

By the pandemic, war, natural disasters and more

The smooth operations our lives depended on before

Have run into rough waters, thus an element of uncertainty

Has invaded lives built on processes working predictably

*

I am a creature of habit, and while I pride

Myself on efficiency, I dare not hide

The fact that I am poor at adaptability

To unforeseen circumstances; instability

Makes me anxious, but I have to learn

To adapt quickly, there is nowhere to turn

When calamities strike out of the blue-

Improvising on the spot is all you can do

*

I cannot help but think that this has been

The reality that mankind has mostly seen

I am lucky to have lived most of my life so far

During a stable era devoid of hunger and war

It is now time to get used to discomfort

Learning to adapt quickly cannot hurt..

When you write…

*

Shape your misshapen thoughts

Into words, phrases, sentences

Bury your negative emotions

In the tapestry of your writing…

*

Let your melancholic tears fall

String them into a soulful verse

Watch your sorrows evaporate

In the warmth of your poetry

*

Let your anger explode (on paper)

With powerful imagery, write an impactful monologue

Feel that fire slowly turning cold

As its energy dissipates into your words

*

Put your thoughts and emotions on paper and you would find

A release, a catharsis for your troubled mind

I need to improve, work harder too

This is what I feel constantly, I do

If I am average, I need to be good

If good, strive towards excellence I should

If I excel at something (I rarely feel this way)

Then I should try to attain the pinnacle one day…

You can do better, is the mantra deeply ingrained

You are not good enough as you are, is the constant refrain

That I hear- it undermines my confidence

And leads to feelings of inadequacy intense

*

I do not know how to eradicate

The feeling of being inadequate

Sometimes harder I am motivated to try

At other times I could care less, I wouldn’t lie

But no matter what I do or achieve

That I am enough, I simply cannot believe

I don’t get the external validation I seek

And my internal validation machinery is weak..

*

That I need to do better, this deep-seated belief

I need to erase, comparison with myself is the thief

Of satisfaction in life, if I could accept myself as I am today

Maybe the constant feeling of inadequacy would go away…

There are so many things that embarrass you

You would never tell a soul, let those secrets die with you

Sometimes the feeling causes discomfort so intense

That you cannot even put it in words that make sense

You have a vague perception of your shame

But you cannot even privately give it a name..

You learn to suppress it, but it does not disappear ever

In some recess of your mind it continues to fester..

*

Then one day serendipitously you read

Words that describe exactly what you need

To express the source of your embarrassment

It ends up being cathartic to some extent

Your unnamed discomfort has been validated

By the writer, who has unknowingly your feelings articulated..

How many things and how many people do I need

In my life so that I can be considered complete?

As I transition into an adult independent

You say looking for my better half should be my intent

Then comes motherhood which is supposed to complete

Me as a woman, what can the joy of having a child beat

After all, but then if taking care of children is all I do

You expect me to find a career that fulfills me too..

If I fall short of any of these expectations

If I fail to live up to societal obligations

Am I then a woman incomplete or inadequate?

This is precisely the insinuation that makes me upset…

*

I’m not trying to rebel, and these expectations alone

Are each perfectly reasonable on their own

The idea that irks me is that of being incomplete

Until these arbitrary milestones I have claimed as a feat

So what if I do not find a partner

Or do not want to or cannot be a mother

Or cannot establish a career that fulfills me

Does that mean I do not get to be

A whole person, as if I am part of a jigsaw puzzle after all

Looking for other pieces to fit my edges, so I can call

Myself perfect, complete, checking all boxes indeed

I am a whole person, why do appendages I need?

*

I am a whole person, and I need around me

People who feel complete themselves, and can see

Me as the person I am, with my strength and weakness

Grow themselves and allow me to grow in the process..

(Thinking of women in Iran)

I shake my head sorrowfully

How is it that in the 21st-century

Freedom of expression can be suppressed so brutally

We don’t live in tribes, we are a society civilized

We should be more tolerant, but I’ve realized

The world is dangerously polarized

Mercilessly are crushed voices of dissent

Power is displayed in a manner violent

To revert to medieval fiefdoms seems the intent

*

At the center of it lies the desire to control

The lives of women, to crush their souls

Oppression exacts on women the greatest toll…

(Image source-newsnetworktv.com)