Passion…unbridled

She made my day when I walked in to her room

Her face lit up, the veil of gloom

That hung over her face seemed to lift

Her beatific smile I accepted as my gift

*

Under the treatment prescribed by me

She was improving, albeit slowly

To a hospital bed for weeks she had been confined

Never once had she complained or whined

But she had around her an aura of sadness

That was disappointing to me, I confess

Until today, when her face brightened at my sight

Things were finally headed in a direction that was right

*

She smiled and told me she felt really good

And that made me happier than I thought it could

Her face lit up, and brightened my day

With a renewed sense of purpose I went on my way

I love words, in what they can convey

I like using a variety of words to say

What I want to, therefore my efforts to increase

The breadth of my vocabulary never cease..

But unfortunately my shrinking brain cells

No longer in learning new words serve me well

To expand my vocabulary is a battle uphill

My word-specific memory has many gaps to fill

The tongue-twister names of new medications I have to memorize

And that limits my ability to learn other words, I’ve realized

*

New words that manage to stick in my mind

Are those that leave an impression- I find

That random words plucked out of a dictionary

Are unlikely to have a lasting place in my memory

Whereas words that come with interesting associations

Get lodged in my brain at a permanent station

*

I find joy in discovering words previously unknown to me

When I read, clever placement of words I tend to see

Languages are rich, may I continue

To learn words that to me sound new

As a child I was encouraged to pursue academic excellence with a one-track mind

That was the foundation on which my future would be designed

So that was what I did, never allowing my creative side to bloom

On the rigorous path of academic success there was no room

To while away precious time in artwork, creative writing or dance

I internalized that creative pursuits could not help me advance

In my career or life (the two were for all intents and purposes the same)

I ended up with a coveted career, so the strategy I cannot blame

Through all the years of studying and working hard, there was one regret

To flex my creative skills, enough time I did not get

*

In my middle age, when my career had reached a plateau

I realized it was about time to let my creative juices flow

Thus began my journey into amateur writing and art

My career stokes my intellect, creative expression soothes my heart

The elusive balance in life seems easier to achieve

Both art and science need a place in my life, I’ve come to believe

You think you are not creative, but that is not true

Let me break down the creative process for you..

*

Take a leaf out of your own book

Through your lived experiences look

For a way to distill a voice that is distinct

A voice that is composed of your own instinct

Not the one that has been planted by others in your head

But the one you have nurtured in solitude instead..

*

Unleash your creativity once your authentic voice you find

Bring into the world ideas that germinate in your mind

Create something exquisite for everyone to see

Through your preferred medium express yourself freely

Connect with the world, and heal from inside

When you cultivate your creative side

*

Through your creative expression, inspire

Others to express their hidden desires

Let your creativity spur others to be creative too

Paying it forward is the most joyful thing to do

*

Bring into the world something new

A creative masterpiece that is unique to you!

She was forging a path ahead in a field male-dominated

Working twice as hard, often being underestimated

To prove her worth she was determined

She had decided she was in it to win

By bringing feminine qualities to the table she had been burnt

Therefore lessons from successful men she had learnt

She knew she had qualities that could raise

Her to the top, most challenges left her unfazed

*

She could not pinpoint what triggered her downward slide

A single display of “feminine” emotion was highly publicized

No time was wasted in her being labeled

As volatile, prone to outbursts and unreliable

She lost support in a matter of weeks

In her defense she was never allowed to freely speak

By trying to explain, she gave them more ammunition

Soon she had lost her hard-earned reputation

*

She was left with no choice but to leave her hard-earned position

She was scarred by this experience beyond recognition

Her confidence had been completely shattered

It seemed to her that her talent had never mattered..

*

It was a slow crawl out of a deep, dark hole

She had difficulty trusting a single soul

But she knew she was destined to achieve more

So she rejoined the workforce, better prepared than before

*

There are ongoing battles that she has to fight

But this time she is determined to do it “right”

It’s a man’s world, the bitter truth she has realized

She has to play by their rules in order to rise

This is one of the most profound things ever said

If you want to change the world, start by making your bed

*

You wake up and make your bed, this is the first thing you do

The first task of the day is now complete; congratulations to you

As the day progresses and new challenges you face

You can take them head on from a place

Of accomplishment, you did not procrastinate

In the morning, the rest of the day your motivation would be great

*

Making your bed is the first step towards a life of discipline

Doing it gives you a sense of accomplishment, a small win

During the rest of the day if nothing else goes right

At least you return to a bed that was already made, at night

It is important for women to practice self-care, people say

But self-care does not simply mean a spa day

Or a day off, or a day spent lazing around

Self-care can manifest in ways more profound

Because most women are not just physically depleted

It is their emotional energy that needs to be repleted

*

Self-care can mean maintaining a healthy distance

From toxic people, avoiding situations that provoke emotions intense

Setting healthy boundaries and letting no one cross the line

Self-care means prioritizing peace of mind..

*

For me self-care has meant walking away

From situations that would suck my energy if I were to stay

From letting go of an argument instead of trying to prove I am right

In choosing wisely the battles I should fight

I’m trying to be empathetic and I fear my words might ring hollow

And though I have not been in your exact shoes, I know

What it is like to deal with the burden, largely invisible

Of a chronic illness, to deal with much more than symptoms physical

To feel marginalized, unable to participate

In normal life, unable to fully integrate

In the community around you, because your disease

Is unpredictable, it never lets you be at ease

*

I write a few prescriptions that are meant

To improve your condition, I don’t know to what extent

The hidden burden of illness the medications would impact

It is hard to measure it in terms exact

Because the numbers might look good and you might not feel well enough

Telling the world you are having a “bad day” is tough..

*

I understand some of what you go through

And therefore I can truly be empathetic towards you

As I conclude the visit, I hope your good days outnumber bad

With a chronic illness, a fulfilling life can still be had

In the palms of our hands, the knowledge of the whole world we can hold

But it is tragically ironic, truth be told

That our attention spans are so limited that we cannot

Hold in our minds, for long, one single thought

We move from topic to topic, switching gears

Reading a complete article, let alone a book, impossible appears

Why has our focus become so elusive

Towards one idea why cannot we be attentive?

*

The only time I seem to direct my focus in one place

Is when I read a physical book, only then does my headspace

Clear itself of information overload

And switch into the attentive mode

I get lost in the pages of the book before me

And reclaim my focus, albeit briefly

*

We cannot from smart phones our lives cleave

But as a lifelong reader I strongly believe

That reading a whole book is one way

To build attention, to not let thoughts stray

From one topic to another- to wholly immerse

Yourself in a book is one of the most gratifying things in the universe

Each time of a book being banned I hear

It hurts me personally, I am engulfed by sadness and fear

It means that the voice of someone marginalized

Has been suppressed and the author chastised

For writing about something that does not fit

The narrow world-view of its opponents, the book does not sit

Well with the self-righteous values of some

In a world where “different” books are unwelcome

I should not expect my voice to be heard

I should feel vulnerable expressing in words

My lived experience, knowing it could be

Invalidated by those who do not see

Value in exposure to narratives different

In my authenticity I cannot be confident..

*

Voices can be suppressed, but not indefinitely

With this thought, let me express myself freely

Who have I been trying to prove myself to all these years?

Who is the one that letting down I fear?

When I keep pushing myself to achieve goals that do not align

With my values or the vision that I have in mind

When I let my sense of self and clarity undergo

Slow erosion to where I feel I do not know

Who I have become- who, after all, am I trying to please?

Who is the master, whose control over me does not cease?

*

I have nothing to prove to anyone or the version of myself old

That by confusing identity with achievement has suffered misery untold

Nothing to prove- just to be fully present

In my life, to experience in full each moment

It’s interesting to use AI just for fun

But I just learnt that in answering a question

ChatGPT compared to a regular search engine requires

Electricity consumption ten times higher

Data centers that host AI technology

Use large amounts of water and electricity

As our use of generative AI expands

It will stretch the resources of our lands

*

There is a huge environmental cost to AI

But solutions for decreasing energy consumption within the purview of AI lie

That balance would have to be found soon enough

Trading drinking water for AI would be tough..

*

As for me, given my proclivity towards conservation

The environmental impact of AI is disturbing information

I decide to restrict my use of chatGPT

To a near-total extent, Google is good enough for me