Passion…unbridled

She was forging a path ahead in a field male-dominated

Working twice as hard, often being underestimated

To prove her worth she was determined

She had decided she was in it to win

By bringing feminine qualities to the table she had been burnt

Therefore lessons from successful men she had learnt

She knew she had qualities that could raise

Her to the top, most challenges left her unfazed

*

She could not pinpoint what triggered her downward slide

A single display of “feminine” emotion was highly publicized

No time was wasted in her being labeled

As volatile, prone to outbursts and unreliable

She lost support in a matter of weeks

In her defense she was never allowed to freely speak

By trying to explain, she gave them more ammunition

Soon she had lost her hard-earned reputation

*

She was left with no choice but to leave her hard-earned position

She was scarred by this experience beyond recognition

Her confidence had been completely shattered

It seemed to her that her talent had never mattered..

*

It was a slow crawl out of a deep, dark hole

She had difficulty trusting a single soul

But she knew she was destined to achieve more

So she rejoined the workforce, better prepared than before

*

There are ongoing battles that she has to fight

But this time she is determined to do it “right”

It’s a man’s world, the bitter truth she has realized

She has to play by their rules in order to rise

This is one of the most profound things ever said

If you want to change the world, start by making your bed

*

You wake up and make your bed, this is the first thing you do

The first task of the day is now complete; congratulations to you

As the day progresses and new challenges you face

You can take them head on from a place

Of accomplishment, you did not procrastinate

In the morning, the rest of the day your motivation would be great

*

Making your bed is the first step towards a life of discipline

Doing it gives you a sense of accomplishment, a small win

During the rest of the day if nothing else goes right

At least you return to a bed that was already made, at night

It is important for women to practice self-care, people say

But self-care does not simply mean a spa day

Or a day off, or a day spent lazing around

Self-care can manifest in ways more profound

Because most women are not just physically depleted

It is their emotional energy that needs to be repleted

*

Self-care can mean maintaining a healthy distance

From toxic people, avoiding situations that provoke emotions intense

Setting healthy boundaries and letting no one cross the line

Self-care means prioritizing peace of mind..

*

For me self-care has meant walking away

From situations that would suck my energy if I were to stay

From letting go of an argument instead of trying to prove I am right

In choosing wisely the battles I should fight

I’m trying to be empathetic and I fear my words might ring hollow

And though I have not been in your exact shoes, I know

What it is like to deal with the burden, largely invisible

Of a chronic illness, to deal with much more than symptoms physical

To feel marginalized, unable to participate

In normal life, unable to fully integrate

In the community around you, because your disease

Is unpredictable, it never lets you be at ease

*

I write a few prescriptions that are meant

To improve your condition, I don’t know to what extent

The hidden burden of illness the medications would impact

It is hard to measure it in terms exact

Because the numbers might look good and you might not feel well enough

Telling the world you are having a “bad day” is tough..

*

I understand some of what you go through

And therefore I can truly be empathetic towards you

As I conclude the visit, I hope your good days outnumber bad

With a chronic illness, a fulfilling life can still be had

In the palms of our hands, the knowledge of the whole world we can hold

But it is tragically ironic, truth be told

That our attention spans are so limited that we cannot

Hold in our minds, for long, one single thought

We move from topic to topic, switching gears

Reading a complete article, let alone a book, impossible appears

Why has our focus become so elusive

Towards one idea why cannot we be attentive?

*

The only time I seem to direct my focus in one place

Is when I read a physical book, only then does my headspace

Clear itself of information overload

And switch into the attentive mode

I get lost in the pages of the book before me

And reclaim my focus, albeit briefly

*

We cannot from smart phones our lives cleave

But as a lifelong reader I strongly believe

That reading a whole book is one way

To build attention, to not let thoughts stray

From one topic to another- to wholly immerse

Yourself in a book is one of the most gratifying things in the universe

Each time of a book being banned I hear

It hurts me personally, I am engulfed by sadness and fear

It means that the voice of someone marginalized

Has been suppressed and the author chastised

For writing about something that does not fit

The narrow world-view of its opponents, the book does not sit

Well with the self-righteous values of some

In a world where “different” books are unwelcome

I should not expect my voice to be heard

I should feel vulnerable expressing in words

My lived experience, knowing it could be

Invalidated by those who do not see

Value in exposure to narratives different

In my authenticity I cannot be confident..

*

Voices can be suppressed, but not indefinitely

With this thought, let me express myself freely

Who have I been trying to prove myself to all these years?

Who is the one that letting down I fear?

When I keep pushing myself to achieve goals that do not align

With my values or the vision that I have in mind

When I let my sense of self and clarity undergo

Slow erosion to where I feel I do not know

Who I have become- who, after all, am I trying to please?

Who is the master, whose control over me does not cease?

*

I have nothing to prove to anyone or the version of myself old

That by confusing identity with achievement has suffered misery untold

Nothing to prove- just to be fully present

In my life, to experience in full each moment

It’s interesting to use AI just for fun

But I just learnt that in answering a question

ChatGPT compared to a regular search engine requires

Electricity consumption ten times higher

Data centers that host AI technology

Use large amounts of water and electricity

As our use of generative AI expands

It will stretch the resources of our lands

*

There is a huge environmental cost to AI

But solutions for decreasing energy consumption within the purview of AI lie

That balance would have to be found soon enough

Trading drinking water for AI would be tough..

*

As for me, given my proclivity towards conservation

The environmental impact of AI is disturbing information

I decide to restrict my use of chatGPT

To a near-total extent, Google is good enough for me

I said no but could not stick to my guns

I had lost the battle as soon as it had begun

I allowed myself to be coerced into agreement

I knew it was hard to state clearly my dissent

But at least I had for the first time tried

To say no- it would take me more attempts to decide

How to not be talked into saying yes

How to confidently my negation express..

*

I kept saying no so that my boundaries I could protect

I added conditions before I could accept

The task that I wanted to refuse

Until one day I decided I would not make any excuse

I said “No” and ended my sentence right there

Truth be told, I was afraid I had dared

To go a bit too far, I had challenged the status quo

But back from my position, I was not planning to go

*

I said no and did not under pressure say yes

I conquered fear in standing up for myself, I confess

I never want to miss the forest for the trees

At the same time I never want to cease

Paying attention to minor details because that is where

The devil lies, waiting to ensnare

The unsuspecting person who has committed

An error of omission that was not permitted

So I try to keep the big picture in sight

Simultaneously the urge to overlook minor details I fight

*

In terms of caring for patients I must say

Attending to minute details has saved the day

More often than not, therefore I remind

Myself to go through minutiae in my mind

Mostly I do not get distracted from the overall goal

But there are times when I go down a rabbit hole

I waste my time on irrelevant details

And in keeping the overarching goal in mind I fail

So easy to text, so difficult to meet face to face

How did all of us get to this place?

Too busy in our lives to schedule time together

With ubiquitous phones, sending messages easier than ever

Erroneous assumptions that we have checked in

Through text messages, with our friends and kin

No communication through nonverbal cues

Our priorities in relationships we’ve confused..

*

We were designed to interact in person, not through a device

While having means of communication that transcend physical barriers is nice

Communicating electronically and considering it adequate

Is not conducive to our mental and emotional states..

*

As always, this verse is a reminder to self to extend

An invitation to an impromptu gathering to all my friends

My frontal lobes, amygdala and hippocampi

Are the precious parts of my brain that I

Need to care for, so that level-headed I can stay

But what I often do is the opposite anyway

I sleep late, keeping in overdrive my brain

By using some electronic device again

The result is that my brain cannot effectively remove

The waste that it should during sleep, to improve

The formation of new memories, and emotional regulation

As a result I go about my day with forgetfulness and frustration

That makes it even harder to get good sleep

The vicious circle continues, and I pay a price steep

*

To break this cycle the first thing I need

Is to cleave myself from devices and read

Before bedtime to lull me to sleep

Try not to compromise on slumber deep

To let my brain’s cleaning service work all night

So I wake up energized to a new day bright