Passion…unbridled

Many interesting things in my prolonged training I’ve seen

Multiple times in my career, a novice I have been

Those days are now over, sometimes I yearn

For those novitiate days when my goal was to learn

When the learning curve used to be steep

The climb was exhilarating- that enthusiasm I wish I could keep

As a new trainee, at the bottom of the totem pole I would be

But learning new skills was so exciting for me

That I did not care about my place in the hierarchy

I believed I would climb higher eventually..

*

These days I am no longer officially

A student, a learner or a trainee,

It takes much more effort to imbibe

New concepts and skills, though I strive

To keep up with the advances in my field

My efforts no longer similar results yield

The learning curve keeps flattening every year

My knowledge would soon become out of date, I fear…

*

If only I could trick my brain to believe

That I am a novice trainee, maybe I would achieve

The ability to climb a learning curve that is steep

Maybe my zeal for learning I would be able to keep

I sometimes wish I could spend all day

Pouring random thoughts on paper in a way

That would unfold like an eclectic combination

Of work, creativity and a therapy session

If I could just be in touch with my soul

Write and make broken pieces of me whole

If I could capture every emotion I feel

And weave it in words in order to heal

If each time I felt awe in I could

Translate it into a verse, in my own way I would

Preserve in perpetuum that sensation sublime

To be able to re-experience it through my words any time..

*

I know this is wishful thinking, I have “real” work to do

Each time I feel inspired, I cannot drop everything to

Pour my heart into words, I cannot exist in a fantasy state

But whenever I can, I escape the world and my world of words create

Meteoric rise and precipitous fall

She had climbed high to be loved by all

Basking in the glory of fickle success

On top of the world, by good fortune blessed..

*

No, success did not go to her head

She remained squarely grounded instead

But there were fans and then there were trolls

The latter trying to script her downfall

*

Who knew one question answered on an impulse

Would lead to such disastrous results

Overnight the trolls took her down

She was canceled, they stole her crown

Barely out of the blush of adolescence

She had not yet acclimated to scrutiny intense

Her answer had unfortunately been

“Politically incorrect”, she had not foreseen

The backlash coming at her with ferocity such

That she could barely comprehend it much

From derogatory comments to death threats

To every form of mental torture she was subject

*

The rise was a dream, the fall was tough

She had to course through waters rough

From social media she took a long break

She knew a while recovery would take

Tik-tok and instagram still strike

Terror in her, a trigger word for her is “like”

But offline her life is returning to normalcy

A social media star she has no desire to be

Is it just me or other middle-aged women feel this too…

I am slowing losing my mind, I do not know what to do

When my mental faculties do not appear

To be as sharp as they were, and I fear

If early onset dementia is creeping up on me

I am at a productive age, why can I not multitask efficiently?

*

I get worried and try to pay extra attention

To my work- I have the lofty intention

Of ignoring all distractions around me

That does not quite happen, obviously

I keep trying to multitask and find

I have reduced concentration and a muddled mind..

*

Then comes a day when the task at hand

Draws me in so completely that nothing can stand

Between me and my concentration, my work without distraction gets done

And I feel like a small victory I have won

Over my declining mental faculties, but then I realize

It was the lack of multitasking that had me galvanized

To the task before me, my focus was intense

For only one thing was my mind present

*

Distractions are increasing these days

But trying to multitask is not the best way

To use my mental faculties that cannot

Keep up with the relentless onslaught

Of distracting stimuli coming from everywhere

By focusing on one task at a time, let me treat my mind with care

In English language, I speak and write quite well

On how I formulate my sentences, I don’t often dwell

I am focused on the content, I don’t pay

Attention to grammar, I must say

*

I had not realized grammar had anything to do

With a person’s personality and worldview

Until I came across a thought-provoking book

That professed grammar affected one’s outlook

*

It helps to change from passive to active voice

If to assert yourself more strongly you have made a choice

Placing punctuation marks strategically is a powerful tool

Where the sentence can be changed without bending any rule..

By using the conjunction “but” you improve your storytelling ability

You create an expectation before the “but” and then dash it quickly

*

Once we’ve learnt grammar we don’t stop to think

How we construct our sentences, or what the link

Between the grammatical construction of our sentences, and

The rest of our life happens to be, we don’t understand

How grammar shapes our outlook on life and how our outlook

Determines how we speak and write, how we use the rule book..

*

When I write, I focus on the content, then the words, and now

I shall focus on the grammar, in order to allow

The best possible version of my writing to emerge

Let the plot, the words, and their placement all converge

Telling your story could be a cathartic experience for you,

But you are worried about dragging others in it too

Some people in your story would not be portrayed in the best light

Tarnishing their reputations through your story-telling does not seem right

But if you were to leave them out completely

Your story would not be as authentic as you want it to be..

*

Perhaps your narrative you would fictionalize

You know those close to you would still recognize

The characters in your story, but the rest of the world would not

Writing your story as a piece of fiction is an attractive thought…

*

As you prepare your account, you realize

There are people to whom you need to apologize

While some people had hurt you, to others you had been unkind

You can make amends through your narrative, keep that in mind

*

Your life has not been lived in a vacuum, nor can your story unfold

Without the presence of others, if your story needs to be told

It would include those who have helped you be who you are

Without taking them along on your storytelling, you would not go far…

I could use my money to buy luxuries, sure

But even with possession of material comforts I cannot ensure

That I would be able to find

That elusive peace of mind

That I would be able to have backup plans

For emergencies, when circumstances get out of hand

At that time material objects would not give me

The much needed feeling of security..

*

Therefore my hard-earned money I spend

On intangible things that my peace of mind can extend

Thus insurance policies I buy, and pay

Their hefty premiums so that on a rainy day

I have a cover to protect my entire family

I know peace of mind does not come for free..

*

To free up more time in my day, I try

If possible, the luxury of time I buy

For services I am willing to pay

A higher price any given day..

*

Life is too precious to be spent in worry

Or in trying to finish chores in a hurry

Money is the means to achieve an end

To be able to live life the way I intend..

My patient looks sheepish when asked about

His exercise, or lack thereof, this is a question he’d like to skip without doubt

He tells me he has been inactive and that he already knew

He would be shamed for it, because that’s what all his health care professionals do…

*

Sure enough, I would have proceeded

To lecture him on exercise, admonish him for not having heeded

My advice regarding regular exercise, but the word shame

Stops me in my tracks, my intent was to assign blame

To lack of physical activity in worsening his ailment

To make him feel ashamed was never my intent..

*

That made me think, how often do we

Make our patients feel they are being shamed, unknowingly

If patients feel humiliated, they are likely to hide

Their health issues such that we would be unable to provide

The best possible care to improve their health conditions

And our sincere efforts would not achieve fruition..

*

My words can make a difference and I should be aware

Of how they make my patients feel, I must choose them with care

Ultimately I want to set my patients up for success

Encourage them to do more but not make them feel less..

Let nothing ruffle my feathers- let me be

Able to face life every day with equanimity

This is what I hope for as I begin each day

But as infinitesimal roadblocks emerge along the way

The cool as a cucumber attitude I was trying to adopt

Goes out of the window more often than not

Some obstacles are tolerable while others leave me

Frustrated that things are not the way they should be..

**

That is life, I understand, a roller-coaster ride

And I have to learn to just take it in my stride

There are days when solutions are easy to find

Then there are days when life seems particularly unkind

For those days I have to just learn to place

My trust in a higher authority that I can face

All the curveballs that life throws at me

And emerge stronger on the other side definitely

*

I end as I began- let my feathers unruffled stay

As I get ready to begin another blessed day

When you work in a corporate set-up you feel

Most of the time, no more than a cog in the wheel

That you are replaceable is the impression you get

Your stable position can easily be upset..

*

Above and beyond you try to go

At first, but you never get to know

If your efforts are being appreciated at all

Between you and the management there is a thick wall

*

Then one day, out of the blue, you find

The administration has decided to be kind

And recognized your contribution to the workplace

You receive an award and become the new face

Of your organization, this is your moment to shine

If you were going to stay here for a while, this is your sign

*

In order to retain employees prized

Their contributions must be recognized

Individuals make an organization, therefore

They should be made to feel valued more

Why does the ingredient list on my “health” bar read

Like that of a complex chemical concoction indeed

I have difficulty recognizing the names that do not

Appear to have any relation to food- it seems I have bought

A list of chemicals melted together to create

Something deemed edible for my palate..

The caloric and carbohydrate content of this food item is low

But whether its ingredients are healthy, I do not know

Ultra-processed and artificial in every way

This barely seems like something I should eat every day

*

Let me go to the produce section and some staples find

It seems daunting to cook them but I’ve made up mind

Not to eat food with labels unpronounceable

In fact l should eat food that does not need to be labeled

There are ways to eat real food dressed with aromatic herbs

That is infinitely more satisfying and helps to curb

Untimely hunger pangs that follow intake of processed food

Eating real food is essential- with this I conclude

Sometimes when I read or listen to news inspiration I get

To distill my impressions in a verse, lest I forget

The emotions that the piece of news has evoked

In my reaction to that news my words get soaked..

*

Most news is delivered in a manner provocative

To incite a reaction that is almost always negative

I get outraged at the current state of affairs

When I hear news, I’ve recently become aware

That my writing comes across as cynical and pessimistic

Sometimes my tone starts appearing nihilistic

*

When my verses have veered towards the dark side

To catch that before I finalize my writing I have tried

I delete some lines and give a more positive spin

To the issue, I count that as a win

Because on a note of despondency I never want to end

At the conclusion of my verse, hope I want to extend..