Work is full of aggravations big and small
But at the end of the day I try to recall
The core essence of what I do, the bottomline
Keeping that in mind, my priorities I align
Inconsequential grievances then melt away
The bottomline becomes the highlight of my day
Providing motivation to do what I do
In the midst of distractions, I try to remain true
To that underlying purpose, that bottomline
Something that the universe has for me designed..
How is it that we are conditioned to believe
That our worth lies in what we achieve
To specific goals we attach our self-esteem
If the goal is not reached, to us it seems
That we are not worthy of love or respect
If the goal is reached, we come to expect
Something better, the goal post keeps moving forward
And we never reach the point of adequate self-worth…
*
We are not what we accomplish, nor what we do
Our worth lies in our existence as human beings, it is true
Our worth is unwavering, immutable, unattached
From other people and things, when ourselves we detach
And accept ourselves as we are, we find
Our self-worth which has been within us confined
Oh what a year it was, once again
Where multiple hits converged to cause pain
A heartbreaking war, needless indeed
Economies that continued to bleed
Inflation that out of control spiraled
Energy in short supply in the world
Paucity of workers in the workforce
Unpredictable weather events, of course
Violent protests against governments oppressive
Viruses with which we were learning to live..
So many things that did not seem right
So many battles we’ve had to fight..
*
On the other hand, a much better year 2022 has been
The light at the end of the tunnel we have seen
At least where the pandemic is concerned
Life has to some semblance of normalcy returned
New challenges are here, but we have solutions creative
Post-pandemic, riskier lives we are willing to live
*
We go into 2023, with wide open eyes
Hopefully we have learnt some lessons, are a bit more wise
Let wars, inflation, energy crises end in the coming year
Let’s have a new world order, where we live without fear
I woke up ready to rise and shine
An early start seemed to be a sign
That I would be productive, or so I thought
But the day passed, I did not accomplish a lot
There was just so much that I wanted to do
I wanted to work hard and have fun too
Work, read, write, socialize, be creative
To each task attention I wanted to give…
But once again life got in the way
Of my having a highly productive day..
*
In this month, the last month of the year
I had aimed to expand in every sphere
My 31-day goals were quite lofty indeed
But unfortunately my expectations did exceed
The reality, and circumstances were such
That I could not accomplish in this month very much
I could blame it on the holidays, therefore the slow pace
Or the unseasonably cold weather that we had to face
But in truth I could not be equally industrious every day
I had to take many breaks along the way
*
The end of the year beckons, in a panic I find
The goals for this year that I had defined
Are far from being accomplished, though I had 365 days
I should have been able to catch up before time flew away
But unexpected occurrences made me deviate
From my path, thus I could not empty my plate..
*
Days, months and years go by fast
If only somehow I could make them last
Just a bit longer in order to complete
All my goals, life would be sweet..
This is what I used to think, but now
I wonder if I should give myself slack and allow
Me to lighten the burden of expectations in such a way
That I accomplish the most important projects every day
Continue this strategy month after month and year after year
And make steady progress in each sphere
When I look back at the year gone by
I reflect on the lowest lows and the highest highs
Then I ask myself if at the end of the year
My cumulative experiences made it clear
That I found growth, from inside out?
Because wherever life takes me, without a doubt
The important thing is to continuously grow on my journey
Each day become a better version of me
Time is on a relentless march, and I must learn
To imbibe something new at every turn
*
Whether or not specific goals were achieved
Personal growth in most spheres I perceived
Many lessons the past year taught me
With a growth mindset, I await the new year eagerly
Why do I always seem to perceive
Life as a problem to solve, why do I believe
That everything needs to be tackled head on
That life is a battle that needs to be won?
*
Does it stem from being a woman who needs
To prove herself in a world where men mostly lead
Is it a manifestation of feeling insecure
That I need to solve problems to be sure
I am on firm footing, I can be in control
I feel best when I am in an active role
Rather than being an observer passive
Somehow this is how I have learnt to live..
*
Lately I have been re-examining my approach
Why don’t I let events in life be as they are, unless they encroach
On my well-being or place me in danger imminent
To focus on solving a few problems should be my intent
Instead of fighting inconsequential battles here and there
I should try to fight for issues about which I care
*
Some things in life are just meant for experience
While others require problem-solving intense
As I go along my journey, I must learn to choose
My battles wisely, otherwise I stand to lose
My focus, peace of mind and satisfaction
Sometimes passivity is the best form of action..
What about it is so surprising
That she can see eyebrows rising
When she expresses the desire for more
Be it food, freedom, ambition, they are keeping score
In no sphere should she expect to exceed
Whatever the men in her life have, her needs
Can never be allowed to surpass theirs’
To blatantly express her desires, how does she dare
Caring for her family should bring her happiness
She is selfish to seek individual success..
*
Patriarchy has roots so deep
That women still have to climb hills steep
When they try to place themselves first
Because fragile egos could burst
My professional work has an overarching presence
On all aspects of my life it has an effect intense
It spills over, occupying every nook and cranny
Of my life, unless I consciously deny it entry
Some days it becomes a commitment limitless
And the work I otherwise love begins to oppress
When work takes me away physically or mentally
I miss out on everything else that is important to me
Time spent with my family, or in pursuits creative
Is lost when duty calls and I try to give
My one-hundred percent to the work I must do
I keep working, but resentment builds up, it’s true
*
When work is a calling, you cannot ignore
The demands of work; plans that were made before
Cannot be carried out, work always seems to succeed
In getting its way, in usurping all other needs..
*
I constantly try to set boundaries and separate
Work and home, but the balance remains delicate
The scales tip towards work invariably
It is not the place where I want to be..
Standardize everything, make a template
Have spreadsheets, keep calendars, schedules create
To maximize efficiency, and stressors minimize
Be productive- at every step in life, strategize..
*
While cognitively I agree, this is what my mind accepts
As the key to success, my heart protests
Too much structure leaves no space
For creativity, when excessive organization I face
I become a machine, at a spinal level operate
How can working like this excellence generate?
*
When this is applied to my work as a physician
I can do certain tasks with absolute precision
But the art of medicine does not find
Adequate expression when I am confined
Within narrow constraints of checkboxes to tick
And limited time to interact with patients vulnerable and sick
*
Instead of an over-structured rigid template
Let me have a framework on which I can create
A tapestry that reflects critical thinking and innovation
To find, in every sphere of life, creative solutions
I live life in a constant struggle
To snatch back stolen time, as I try to juggle
Multiple responsibilities in the space of a day
I fight sleep and exhaustion in every way
To get some time for myself to splurge
On things I like, some time to purge
Stressful thoughts of things to do
From my mind, find some clarity too
But even as I try to relax there is a voice
Within me that criticizes me for my choice
To “waste” time when my task list is incomplete
Worrying about that list does further deplete
The time that I can in solitude spend
So I end up sleeping later than I intend
I rebel against the lack of time adequate
Thus I continue to procrastinate
Going to bed, this cycle never ends
I still never have enough free time to spend
What if I were to fall out of the rat race
What if one day I decided to embrace
The languidness of a snail’s pace..
What changes in my life would I face?
*
I thrive on exorbitant amounts of caffeine
To buzz through days, full of adrenaline
Trying to outrun time, the fastest runner indeed
My keywords in life are efficiency and speed
So the deliberate act of slowing down would entail
Trying to shift my activities to a different time-scale
To literally smell the roses, listen to the birds
To read much more slowly, to savor each word
From devices I would have to separate
So that context-switching I can eliminate…
It’s daunting to think of all the different ways
In which I would incorporate a snail’s pace in my days
*
I’ve been running on the hedonic treadmill
Life seems to spiral out of control still
The idea of switching to a snail’s pace
Is to let my life spiral back in to place!
I’m not good at making lists at all
I place my faith in memory and recall
But the holidays are a time when I need
Meticulously made lists indeed
Holiday gifting is a task delicate
If I forget someone, I am tempting fate
There are always more people in my orbit
Than the initial count, who deserve a gift
Some had unexpectedly gifted me last year
They must be included in the gifting sphere
Then I obsess over the gift value
It is helpful to have a list for it too
So I can compare values from last year
Before loosening my purse strings dear..
I refer to the list each time I’m at a store
When I think I’m done, the list is revised once more
*
Now let me go back to my list and see
If gift shopping has been completed satisfactorily…
Passion...unbridled 