Passion…unbridled

All working mothers, I’m reaching out to you
We are in the same boat, juggling work and home too
Orchestrating lives of our families and our own
Pirouetting precariously, afraid of being thrown
Out of balance by a mild gust of air
One tiny drift from “normal” and beware-
The world we have created collapses around us
Leaving us dealing with tears, meltdowns and fuss
We revise our strategies, plan things anew
It might not work, that would be too good to be true
Then calamity strikes again, keeping us on our toes
Our sanity is threatened, we are in the throes
Of self-reproach, fearing we have failed
From our situation, we’d love to be bailed..

Then once in a while when stars are aligned
Just when you think you are going to lose your mind
Your work-life balance you think is flawed
But your “perfect” life leaves someone awed
And you get the question that you claim you hate-
“How do you juggle so many things on your plate?”
Asked in a tone of wonder, almost reverential
You shrug modestly, glad someone saw your potential
Say you try your best, give your partner credit
You are grinning inwardly, happy they said it
This moment of glory prompts you once more
To morph into the supermom that your kids adore
Suddenly all your trials and tribulations
Seem worthwhile, as a result of this validation.

All cities are mad: but the madness is gallant. All cities are beautiful: but the beauty is grim.

-Christopher Morley

Cities, small and large, modern and old

Cavernous spaces that draw me in their folds

Testaments to human ingenuity and art

Cities- that draw me in and pull me apart

From my myopic sense of identity

Into the swarming ocean of anonymity..

Cities; where I can be invisible and amalgamate

With the crowd, where I can satiate

My desire to give myself an aura exotic

Bond with strangers, leave my neurotic

Sensibilities behind, for I am protected

By my anonymity, I am not expected

To conform to standards of behavior narrow

I feel free to dream, to go with the flow

In cities that are crowded, where no one can spare

The time to inquire about me, no one does care

Confined to narrow streets,  by skyscrapers corralled

I feel liberated, the chaos leaves me enthralled

Strangely enough, in the cacophonous milieu

Of a bustling city, I find inner solitude..

(As I have written before, I love exploring cities all by myself. I love getting lost in the crowds. Not something that happens everyday in the suburbia…)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.”- Jon Acuff

I know it is pointless and unfair

I know that I should not compare

Myself with others, but I seem to forget

Quite often, inadvertently I seem to set

Out to compare my life’s circumstances unique

With others, subjecting myself to critique 

Wallowing in abject misery self-inflicted

Later hating myself for being afflicted

With this malady, albeit common, 

Of being tempted to indulge in comparison

Even while counting my blessings it appears

I compare myself to those with more tears

Over time one thing to me has become clear

Compare, and you feel superior or inferior

Neither brings contentment to the heart

It threatens to pull your uniqueness apart..

 

So I have been working to let go

Of this dreadful habit, progress is slow

Less comparison does make me feel better

(Also from spending money it does deter)

One final thought here- with nothing to compare

Yourself to , you can be perfect, that’s only fair!

 

 

 

 

 

 

“The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding.”- Anonymous

They were co-workers in the same place

Spending ten hours, sharing the same space

With similar goals in mind, they did share

A camaraderie that at work is probably rare

They worked hard, each other they supported

Towards a common goal both were motivated

Now there were some people, who, like always

Could not help feeling jealous in some ways

Of their friendship, they felt ignored

Anecdotes of these two would leave them bored

**

One such individual, one fine day

Trying to generate excitement in some way

Let loose a piece of gossip quite benign

About one friend to the other, drawing a line

Between the two friends, creating  distance

Their friendship would not be the same hence

The seed of doubt germinated once it was sown

 

Out of proportion the gossip was blown

In the mind of the one who had heard

This piece of gossip, believing every word

Never did the listener stop to verify

From the friend whether this was a lie

 

There occurred a quiet transformation

In his demeanor, to his friend’s consternation

But again his friend did not stop to clarify 

The reason behind this behavior, though he wondered why

Thus this misunderstanding pulled them apart

Interactions grew awkward, although at heart

Both longed for each other’s company still

There remained a void others could not fill

**

Months later, when it  was already accepted

That they avoided each other, in a manner unexpected

They found they were alone with each other

Unable to escape, at first neither did bother

To initiate a conversation, but then out of politeness

One struck a conversation, hovering on topics harmless

Almost imperceptibly the conversation took turn

To the gossip that had been the bone of contention

And thus came the chance to clear the dark cloud

Of misunderstanding between them, to get rid of doubt

It was something quite minor, actually ludicrous

Not even worthy of creating that much fuss

The air now clear, the distance between the two

Disappeared, they were back to being friends true!

 

 

 

 

“And the night shall be filled with music, And the cares, that infest the day, Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs, And as silently steal away.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

From one task to another I scurry

With plenty to do, I have to hurry

The day goes by in a grayish blur

With not a single moment to ponder

Upon what I am doing and why

All I feel are moments slipping by

At times I feel I have been mechanized

In relentless activity I am galvanized

Until it is time to lay my head

On the pillow, hit my unmade bed

As I close my eyes to finally pray

At the end of a very long day

Even though I work hard throughout

Discontented I feel, without a doubt

I am glad when sleep eventually takes over

Under fitful dreams, my mind takes cover

**

I had always been taught to admire

Dedication, industry, a belly full of fire

Working was noble; was my interpretation

Of a meaningful life, in my estimation

Workaholism was a quality to be emulated

Constant work would keep one stimulated

Thus my life I had filled with work relentless

Any time spent idling appeared pointless

**

Of course I did not realize when it happened

All of a sudden with burnout I was threatened

I was forced to take a break just for my sanity

Even though at the time it hurt my vanity

Then I discovered, and it was quite a revelation

How time spent at leisure led to rejuvenation

Somehow in my life’s remote control I had

Missed the pause button, but now I was glad

To have discovered what relaxation meant

It was the solution to many an ailment

Real and imaginary, that afflicted me

What I had been missing, I could now see

Now I have learnt to soothe my mind

At the end of the day, I try to unwind

And do nothing but reflect on my day

Calm down before my prayers I say..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Watching my son struggle with the ball
I cringe inwardly, I hate to see him fall
Like every parent, with every ounce of my soul
I want him to succeed every time, score every goal
He is trying hard, that much I can see
To the very best of his somewhat limited ability
He is only five, competition not yet a word
In his vocabulary, he is still guileless in this world
He has not yet succumbed to peer pressure
He can still play a game for sheer pleasure..
**
When I get disappointed, I have to remind
Myself, this is not about me, I have to find
The right balance between pushing and letting go
Letting him learn to deal with the highs and the lows
I am his cheerleader, the one with the loudest voice
But how he handles a sport is ultimately his choice
I have to be careful never to weigh him down
With my expectations, even if reasonable they sound
He is learning to kick the ball, that’s true
But on the field he is learning life’s lessons too
To fall, and get up, to never lose sight
Of the ultimate goal, to keep up the fight
When he does not play well and I get upset
I set a wrong example, he does not learn to accept
Disappointment, which in life is inevitable
In every walk of life, this rule is applicable
**
Thus while my son soccer and life’s lessons learns
I learn valuable parenting lessons in turn..

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.

Ayn Rand

I have been trying to find what exactly

Is it that has motivated me

To get out of my comfort zone and seek

To climb yet another peak

In the past- I am trying to find

The impetus given to my mind

That propelled me to seek adventures new

I need to know, I really do

Now that stuck in a rut I feel

Unmotivated, I’ve been waiting for life to reveal

An exciting opportunity that I can capture

Something that can send me into rapture..

That is not happening and so I need

To be proactive and find inspiration indeed

That would galvanize me towards a goal

Bring succour to my restless soul..

**

Feeling uninspired, ultimately one day

I decided, to my own dismay

I could not climb another mountain

I could not push myself again

I could not accomplish another feat

I would be contented in my current seat-

What happened next is ironic, I’d say

Just saying to myself “I could not” paved the way

For me to get over inertia profound-

Suddenly motivation came around

And once again I found myself neck deep

In an exciting project, oblivious of rest or sleep

It became my most ambitious venture to date

Another achievement I found on my plate!

**

With this rigmarole all I wanted to convey

Is that what motivates me every day

Is an inner critic that whispers in my ear

“This is beyond your capability, my dear”

To prove the critic wrong, the fighter in me

Takes on this serious responsibility

And pushes me forward relentlessly

Until a new pinnacle is reached by me!