Passion…unbridled

I’ve seen people in powerful positions occupy

As much space in a room as they can, they try

To make their presence felt in such a way

That others retreat and don’t have much left to say

*

At the other extreme I seem to lie

To occupy as little space as I can, I try

I want to be known through my work, not my appearance

It does not matter to me whether people notice my presence

*

But I feel discouraged when my work unnoticed goes

I don’t take up much space, so no one knows

Who I am or what I do, I blend in the background

Words compared to actions make a louder sound

*

I realize in societal norms this is rooted

Women not taking up much space is suited

To patriarchal agenda- most men do not find

Taking up more space to be an issue, it’s their right in their minds

*

In this competitive world if I wish to thrive

To make my presence known I need to strive

And take up more space than I now do

I shall place myself front and center too

I leave work on time for once, I am ecstatic

I’ve worked all day with the single-minded focus of a fanatic

I am looking forward to spending a few hours at leisure

Read or watch something for my pleasure

I want to make the most of my evening today

Getting work done early is rare for me anyway

*

I try to settle down with a book and find

I’ve left work physically but my mind

Has not- the events of the day

Heavily on my mind continue to weigh

I’m still wrapped up in my patients’ ailments

Much to my own mental health’s detriment

I dealt with life and death at work, and now

I am unable to break away somehow..

*

I coax myself to shift my gears and pay attention

To the book before me, it is my intention

To completely immerse myself in the book

But I keep interrupting my reading to go back and look

At work-related content on my device

That I do not enjoy my evening should come as no surprise..

*

The inability to break free from work mentally

Has been taking a huge toll on me

This is where I sorely need

To treat work as work indeed

And forget about it when I walk in the door

Of my home, not obsess over it anymore

How did we get to the point where we

Struggle so hard to get healthy?

*

We forgot we were meant to sleep at night

Now research shows our ancestors were right

The brain gets rid of waste during sleep

And that is how our mental faculties we keep

*

We seem to have forgotten how to cook well

To eat fast and processed foods we feel compelled

How did we come to assume that artificial “low calorie” stuff

Was better for us, that real food was not good enough?

*

We devised lifestyles where movement was least required

And after obtaining luxuries desired

We realized we were not getting enough exercise

We started searching for ways to prioritize

Exercise that used to be built into our days

To move more, we try to come up with creative ways

*

Sometimes I wish we would just go back a century

And learn how life in those days used to be

If we were to observe people in that era with an open mind

Invaluable clues to maintaining our health we could find

With the wisdom of old times and advancements in medical knowledge new

We can achieve optimal health too

It is hard to change but there is one trait

That I would really like to cultivate-

Patience unfortunately is not a virtue I possess

And impatience often comes in the way of success

With any endeavor in which I get involved

With a little patience, more problems in my life would be solved..

*

When you are always on the go

You want to control the flow

Of events in your life, impatient you become

When at your desired speed things don’t get done

Impatience leads to anger and dissatisfaction

And worsens with everyone else your interaction

That does not help speed things, and you

Become increasingly frustrated too

*

I hope with more patience I would not get frustrated as fast

One needs to wait for good things that last

I must give up the need for constant control

And go with the flow, let things at their own pace roll

*

I am being impatient now, a deep breath I should take

And calm myself down for my own sake

Each time I realize my impatience I resolve

To slow down, let problems at their pace to be solved

Many interesting things in my prolonged training I’ve seen

Multiple times in my career, a novice I have been

Those days are now over, sometimes I yearn

For those novitiate days when my goal was to learn

When the learning curve used to be steep

The climb was exhilarating- that enthusiasm I wish I could keep

As a new trainee, at the bottom of the totem pole I would be

But learning new skills was so exciting for me

That I did not care about my place in the hierarchy

I believed I would climb higher eventually..

*

These days I am no longer officially

A student, a learner or a trainee,

It takes much more effort to imbibe

New concepts and skills, though I strive

To keep up with the advances in my field

My efforts no longer similar results yield

The learning curve keeps flattening every year

My knowledge would soon become out of date, I fear…

*

If only I could trick my brain to believe

That I am a novice trainee, maybe I would achieve

The ability to climb a learning curve that is steep

Maybe my zeal for learning I would be able to keep

I sometimes wish I could spend all day

Pouring random thoughts on paper in a way

That would unfold like an eclectic combination

Of work, creativity and a therapy session

If I could just be in touch with my soul

Write and make broken pieces of me whole

If I could capture every emotion I feel

And weave it in words in order to heal

If each time I felt awe in I could

Translate it into a verse, in my own way I would

Preserve in perpetuum that sensation sublime

To be able to re-experience it through my words any time..

*

I know this is wishful thinking, I have “real” work to do

Each time I feel inspired, I cannot drop everything to

Pour my heart into words, I cannot exist in a fantasy state

But whenever I can, I escape the world and my world of words create

Meteoric rise and precipitous fall

She had climbed high to be loved by all

Basking in the glory of fickle success

On top of the world, by good fortune blessed..

*

No, success did not go to her head

She remained squarely grounded instead

But there were fans and then there were trolls

The latter trying to script her downfall

*

Who knew one question answered on an impulse

Would lead to such disastrous results

Overnight the trolls took her down

She was canceled, they stole her crown

Barely out of the blush of adolescence

She had not yet acclimated to scrutiny intense

Her answer had unfortunately been

“Politically incorrect”, she had not foreseen

The backlash coming at her with ferocity such

That she could barely comprehend it much

From derogatory comments to death threats

To every form of mental torture she was subject

*

The rise was a dream, the fall was tough

She had to course through waters rough

From social media she took a long break

She knew a while recovery would take

Tik-tok and instagram still strike

Terror in her, a trigger word for her is “like”

But offline her life is returning to normalcy

A social media star she has no desire to be

Is it just me or other middle-aged women feel this too…

I am slowing losing my mind, I do not know what to do

When my mental faculties do not appear

To be as sharp as they were, and I fear

If early onset dementia is creeping up on me

I am at a productive age, why can I not multitask efficiently?

*

I get worried and try to pay extra attention

To my work- I have the lofty intention

Of ignoring all distractions around me

That does not quite happen, obviously

I keep trying to multitask and find

I have reduced concentration and a muddled mind..

*

Then comes a day when the task at hand

Draws me in so completely that nothing can stand

Between me and my concentration, my work without distraction gets done

And I feel like a small victory I have won

Over my declining mental faculties, but then I realize

It was the lack of multitasking that had me galvanized

To the task before me, my focus was intense

For only one thing was my mind present

*

Distractions are increasing these days

But trying to multitask is not the best way

To use my mental faculties that cannot

Keep up with the relentless onslaught

Of distracting stimuli coming from everywhere

By focusing on one task at a time, let me treat my mind with care

In English language, I speak and write quite well

On how I formulate my sentences, I don’t often dwell

I am focused on the content, I don’t pay

Attention to grammar, I must say

*

I had not realized grammar had anything to do

With a person’s personality and worldview

Until I came across a thought-provoking book

That professed grammar affected one’s outlook

*

It helps to change from passive to active voice

If to assert yourself more strongly you have made a choice

Placing punctuation marks strategically is a powerful tool

Where the sentence can be changed without bending any rule..

By using the conjunction “but” you improve your storytelling ability

You create an expectation before the “but” and then dash it quickly

*

Once we’ve learnt grammar we don’t stop to think

How we construct our sentences, or what the link

Between the grammatical construction of our sentences, and

The rest of our life happens to be, we don’t understand

How grammar shapes our outlook on life and how our outlook

Determines how we speak and write, how we use the rule book..

*

When I write, I focus on the content, then the words, and now

I shall focus on the grammar, in order to allow

The best possible version of my writing to emerge

Let the plot, the words, and their placement all converge

Telling your story could be a cathartic experience for you,

But you are worried about dragging others in it too

Some people in your story would not be portrayed in the best light

Tarnishing their reputations through your story-telling does not seem right

But if you were to leave them out completely

Your story would not be as authentic as you want it to be..

*

Perhaps your narrative you would fictionalize

You know those close to you would still recognize

The characters in your story, but the rest of the world would not

Writing your story as a piece of fiction is an attractive thought…

*

As you prepare your account, you realize

There are people to whom you need to apologize

While some people had hurt you, to others you had been unkind

You can make amends through your narrative, keep that in mind

*

Your life has not been lived in a vacuum, nor can your story unfold

Without the presence of others, if your story needs to be told

It would include those who have helped you be who you are

Without taking them along on your storytelling, you would not go far…

I could use my money to buy luxuries, sure

But even with possession of material comforts I cannot ensure

That I would be able to find

That elusive peace of mind

That I would be able to have backup plans

For emergencies, when circumstances get out of hand

At that time material objects would not give me

The much needed feeling of security..

*

Therefore my hard-earned money I spend

On intangible things that my peace of mind can extend

Thus insurance policies I buy, and pay

Their hefty premiums so that on a rainy day

I have a cover to protect my entire family

I know peace of mind does not come for free..

*

To free up more time in my day, I try

If possible, the luxury of time I buy

For services I am willing to pay

A higher price any given day..

*

Life is too precious to be spent in worry

Or in trying to finish chores in a hurry

Money is the means to achieve an end

To be able to live life the way I intend..

My patient looks sheepish when asked about

His exercise, or lack thereof, this is a question he’d like to skip without doubt

He tells me he has been inactive and that he already knew

He would be shamed for it, because that’s what all his health care professionals do…

*

Sure enough, I would have proceeded

To lecture him on exercise, admonish him for not having heeded

My advice regarding regular exercise, but the word shame

Stops me in my tracks, my intent was to assign blame

To lack of physical activity in worsening his ailment

To make him feel ashamed was never my intent..

*

That made me think, how often do we

Make our patients feel they are being shamed, unknowingly

If patients feel humiliated, they are likely to hide

Their health issues such that we would be unable to provide

The best possible care to improve their health conditions

And our sincere efforts would not achieve fruition..

*

My words can make a difference and I should be aware

Of how they make my patients feel, I must choose them with care

Ultimately I want to set my patients up for success

Encourage them to do more but not make them feel less..