Writing is meditative
Writing is speculative
The flow of words before me
Is for my restless mind a remedy
A way by which my roving thoughts
To focus on a single idea are brought
To examine, introspect and create
I enter an exalted state
Of complete concentration
Through multiple iterations
Goes the entire process
As I let my writing possess
Every fiber of my thinking mind
Amid words, catharsis I find
I floated through life unmoored, my soul,
Fragmented, broken, in a quest to be whole,
Restless and weary, tried to traverse
The length and breadth of the universe
Looking for succor through experiences
Variegated, trying to appease my senses
My perturbed soul made me explore
Unfamiliar music, food, languages and more
Trying to find solace in exploits new
Thinking that knowledge would come to my rescue
While novel experiences my intellectual appetite satiated
The disquietude of my soul never abated
*
The eureka moments in life happen
I believe, in serendipitous fashion
As happened on a perfectly ordinary day
When I chanced upon a temple on my way
Where I heard Vedic chants, I was mesmerized
I walked inside the prayer hall, my mind hypnotized
From my roots somehow far I had strayed
In ritualistic ways, for years I had not prayed
But a deep-seated memory came to the surface
And I chanted along, syllables and words falling into place
A sense of calm descended over me as we progressed
My soul no longer appeared as distressed..
In the midst of rapturous chanting I had an epiphany
“You’ve returned home,” my soul whispered to me
*
The answer for which I had searched low and high
Was in the spiritual tradition of my past, before my eye
It fascinates me to know how mankind
Has had complex questions on its mind
From time immemorial- our ancestors wondered about
The origin of the universe, of life, without
Having the scientific tools we now possess
But boundless imagination they could access
Vividly imagined, with myriad versions
Passed down centuries through oral traditions
I wonder how those ancient women and men
Exercised their imagination, staring at the heavens..
*
In the Vedic tradition, first there was darkness everywhere
Then the self-manifested Being became aware
Created primordial waters, established seed of creation
Into the Golden Womb underwent the seed transformation
The Being (consciousness) entered the womb (of light)
The universe began, dispelling the darkness of night
*
For Greeks, the cosmic Orphic egg gave birth
To the deity Phanes, the egg split to create heaven and earth
Phanes gave rise to all other gods and the universe began
To function as intended, for the gods and man
*
The Big Bang theory is widely accepted as true
Based on scientific evidence, it does seem to
Be an explanation plausible, but no one witnessed
The beginning of the universe, we remain as obsessed
With exploring our origins as our ancestors had been
We use science and imagination to create a scenario unseen..
NaBloPoMo 2021
How do you cultivate patience when you happen to be
A type A, go-getter, always-in-a-hurry kind of personality
When people do not catch up to your speed
When you have to wait to fulfill your need
How do you maintain calm and take things in your stride
How do you stop yourself from seething inside
This is a question to which I am trying to find
Answers that are realistic for my racing mind..
*
I know it starts with adequate sleep
(A promise I make to myself and cannot keep)
Adequate hydration and nourishing meals
Are next in line to keep one even-keel
A work-life balance which appears reasonable
Is imperative but frequently, not attainable
Developing a hobby, practicing mindfulness
Can help develop patience for times of duress
Spending time alone to daydream
(Which often a waste of productivity does seem)
Can help one get centered and be patient
All these strategies help to some extent..
*
The most important way to have a patient attitude
Is, by far, to live life with a feeling of gratitude
To be reminded that each day is a gift
To experience life, to improve and uplift
Even when sleep, food, leisure time fall short
Channeling gratitude in a sticky situation often helps me abort
The impatience that threatens to escalate
It helps me get to a much calmer state
*
I am an impatient person, and I won’t lie
To be patient, harder I have to try
Small improvements with daily practice come
Eventually I hope a patient human being I become
NaBloPoMo 2021
Water your grass but do not compare
With the grass in your neighbor’s yard, beware
Greener it would always appear
And you would always live with the fear
That you are not doing something right
As long as you keep the neighbor’s yard in sight
*
You thought with your life you were content
To change things around was not your intent
Until your friend’s lifestyle you saw
The glitter you perceived filled you with awe
Suddenly your home and your life lost their luster
Before their opulence your lifestyle did not pass muster
And so the seeds of discontent were sown
No longer enough was what you did own
*
Comparison robs you of joy, they say
Away from comparison it is best to stay
Take in what others have, admire what we see
On the surface, without knowing the reality
Even if we cultivate our grass with utmost care
Our grass would not be green enough if we compare..
NaBloPoMo 2021
I’ve had a long day, now what do I do?
I am exhausted, with a short fuse too
I think I have no brain power left to spend
I am sure I have no energy left to expend
On any activity remotely classified as productive
The idea of snoozing on my couch is seductive..
*
Maybe in another era that’s what I would have done
If I were exhausted, to my bed I would have returned
But with gadgets around, I don’t do that now
Relaxation means aimlessly surfing somehow
The world wide web, accessible even in bed
The stimulation is addictive, therefore instead
Of taking a short nap which infinitely more refreshing would be
I surf the internet on my phone mindlessly
I search for funny videos, gorgeous sights, fashion and more
I am still tired but more stimulated than before
I don’t know what direction my stress levels have taken
By stimulating my mind and eyes, precious sleep I’ve forsaken
*
Cognitively I know this is the wrong thing to do
Yet I repeat this folly everyday, it’s true
Unable to fall asleep despite being tired
I stay sleep-deprived, my poor brain constantly wired…
*
Enough said, now to my bed I shall retreat
Leave my phone elsewhere, prop up my tired feet
Close my eyes and not let in blue light
I’ll let my senses be taken over by the night..
NaBloPoMo 2021
I cannot help but feel, to some extent, helpless
In the face of your aggressive disease process
Since you were afflicted all of a sudden
You hope for recovery, the full scope of the illness hidden
From your eyes, and your comprehension
You don’t get sick easily, so you envision
A short course of symptoms, that would go away
With a simple drug, or procedure, soon you would be on your way
To feeling better, you lead a healthy lifestyle after all
This is merely a stumbling block, you don’t expect to fall
I see that hope in you, if only the same I could share!
Having treated this condition, I am painfully aware
That in the next few minutes your optimism I shall crash
No matter how I word it, your hopes would be dashed
*
I do this often enough, usually detached I remain
From the patient’s emotions, to stay calm and sane
But sometimes the buoyant optimism of a patient
My carefully practiced equanimity threatens
If only, somehow I had a magic one step cure
I wish a miracle drug I could conjure..
Then I remind myself- that is an audacious thought
I am a student of science, a magician or messiah I am not
This disease has no cure, but I can offer relief
I can always try to comfort, that’s my firm belief
So I explain the disease and its prognosis, in an empathetic voice
To encourage shared decision-making, I go through each available choice
*
There are days when I feel invincible at work, and then
There are days like this that remind me I am a mere human
With a special skill, not a gift divine
As I treat my patients, I must keep that in mind
NaBloPoMo 2021
This poem is a humble attempt to give a voice to millions of people living with autoimmune illnesses. There is so much more I wanted to say, but for now this is all I have.
That time when I felt normal, completely alive
Seems a memory distant, I’d have to take a deep dive
To recall when things were “good”, before a laundry list
Of symptoms appeared, and I started my tryst
With the medical system, seeing a motley crew
Of specialists, many kinds of tests they would do
On me over the years, prescribe medications
That grew more expensive each year, without giving an indication
Of improvement in my condition sustained
No matter what I did, my symptoms waxed and waned
I had flare-ups at times most inconvenient
They followed no schedule, I could not prevent
A flare-up when it threatened its ugly head
Hoping to improve next morning, I would go to bed
Wake up disappointed, in discomfort and pain
Hoping for a remission to follow again
Each time nervous that the disease activity
Was here to stay, at a worse new baseline I would be
*
Pesky steroids, immunosuppressants and more
Fear of infections shaking me to the core
Each common viral illness leaving its mark
With new symptoms, some subtle, some stark
Any kind of stress sending my system immune
In to overdrive, from which I would not bounce back soon
All kinds of restrictive diets I have tried
When nothing worked, myself to sleep I’ve cried
Then the pandemic came, to derange life even further for me
I worried the virus would challenge my immunity
*
Why could my body not learn
To love itself, not attack it, I yearn
For a life free of worry constant
Even though I manage well to an extent
There are times when gourmet food
Unleashes a torrent of symptoms that intrude
On my ability to live from day to day
Normally- then I have to remind myself in some way
“This too shall pass” because flares come and go
Tomorrow may be the best day, I never know!
NaBloPoMo 2021
To give thanks is an expression with meaning profound
To take nothing for granted, to be grateful for the abundance around
To remind ourselves of our good fortune
Because from adversity none of us is immune
To rejoice with family, in collective gratitude
For the warmth of relationships, celebrated with food
To remind ourselves to cherish moments together
Because good times and good fortune may not last forever
*
This Thanksgiving is a time for collective thankfulness
Making it through a worldwide pandemic is a success!
NaBloPoMo 2021
I see beauty profound
Fiery fall colors abound
The vista that induces rapture
I wish to permanently capture
So I try to take pictures from angles different
Make videos to preserve the moment
Even wax poetic about how I feel
The impact of the scenery on my senses I want to seal
*
The present I tucked away for future reminiscence
But in doing so I daresay I forgot to experience
The actual moment unfolding before my eyes
Now, just a few days later, I happen to realize
That I cannot recall details of that day
What the cool breeze smelled like, I cannot say
Whether my skin was warmed by the dappled sunlight
I do not know, I missed feeling that outright
Did I feel a sense of calm or tranquility
In the presence of breathtaking beauty?
*
Most of what I remember is based on the photographs I took
In seeing through my lens, with my eyes I forgot to look..
NaBloPoMo 2021
Increasing excitement of anticipation
As we approach the destination
Carefully planned, down to the last detail
(Because the best laid plans can fail)
We expect a vista of unparalleled beauty
When finally the advertised place we get to see
After all, millions of visitors go there Millions of instagram pictures they share
That look amazing, granted filters are applied
Still the place has to be beautiful inside..
This is a much awaited vacation and we
Are looking forward to being awed endlessly
*
Braving throngs of people and long queues
We are at the place with supposedly stunning views
The reality is quite different from expectation
We are disappointed, the best part of the vacation
Has proved to be average, how would the rest
Turn out to be, we wonder, with dampened interest
*
The next day of vacation has been reserved
For a lesser known attraction, this is well preserved
Because the ravages of tourism have not
Marred it yet there are not a lot
Of ratings on trip advisor, therefore
There are fewer people, we are able to explore
This place, as beautiful as the named attraction
Without long queues, flashing cameras and other distractions
*
This scenario plays out in our travels frequently
The road less traveled is the one that appears to be
More attractive than the popular tourist destination
The hype around it builds up excess anticipation
Hopes are dashed when it does not turn out
To be as majestic as we had heard about
Gradually I am learning to keep an open mind
To be a traveler, not tourist, and hidden gems find
NaBloPoMo 2021
I wish years ago I had a crystal ball
When, young and audacious, I heeded the call
Of adventure- I wanted to explore
Therefore I left my homeland’s shore
To settle in a new country, lured by
The promise of freedom, the hope of flying high
Backed by the unwavering support always
Of my anchors at home, I was confident in those days
That the physical distance was just a number to know
In the connected modern world, freely we could go
From one country to another, this would not be
An issue at all, I thought confidently
Family responsibilities I did not have quite yet
I had no idea how complicated life could get..
*
More than a decade later, well-settled I am in this land
With a young family of my own, now I understand
How complex it becomes when you have to navigate
Between two countries that thousands of miles separate
Raising young children and building a career here
Guilt of leaving parents back home to steer
Themselves alone through aging and illness
The conundrum gets harder to process
To uproot them and ask them to adapt in a country new
Making them live a life they did not choose, seems selfish to do
Immigration laws, pandemics, travel restrictions can interfere
And complicate the situation, there is a constant fear
That physically meeting each other in a time of need
Could prove to be quite difficult indeed..
*
I am successful and contented with the life I have made
I cannot help wonder if I would have stayed
In my homeland if a crystal ball I had seen
How different would our lives have been?
Passion...unbridled 